Brunch

Some call it breakfast
Some call it lunch
I call it food
That I love so much
For I shall never ever see
What the purpose of brunch
Was meant to be

For breakfast occurs when I open my eyes
I head to the kitchen
No matter the time
And I whip up some hash browns and maybe some eggs
And three hours later
I will do the same
But instead of the menu I had before
I will adjust it
Or add some more
And this my friend I will call lunch
For I believe in breakfast and lunch

Combining those meals
Won't be a treat
Because what I love to do
Is eat, Eat, EAT
I have to have my three meals aside
For if they don't happen...
I might die

Some call it breakfast
Some call it lunch
I call it food that I love so much
For I can't combine the two meals you see
And that is why brunch is not for me

Flowers Bloom In Winter Too

Flowers bloom in winter too

Throughout all the ice

They make it through

And even though the birds no longer play

I can hear the melodies in my head

The fragrance I can't wait to smell

I hold it closely

I even stare

So beautiful and yet so true

This lovely flower

I thought only bloomed in June

Flowers bloom in winter too

I'm reminded every time I look at you

Even in bad days

You can always see

The beauty that resides in me

Your hugs I yearn for every day

The smell of your flesh

I can never walk away

So beautiful and yet so true

I am no longer a skeptic

For I can now see it too

Flowers bloom in winter too

"Sometimes the greatest love can blossom from the coldest heart...."  -Monica Renata

Who Are You?

Once I knew you so well
Like how I knew the back of my hand
I knew the curvature of all your features
I always knew where we stand
But today I am uncertain
For I don't know you anymore
I use to know you so well
Before you walked out of that door

I use to know your every thought
Like Mother Nature knew when it would rain
I could look you in the eyes each day
And know each day you were the same
But today I am uncertain
For I don't know you anymore
I use to know you so well
Before you walked out of that door

Each morning we stand face to face
Yet we both don't know
That although we are so close together
We are more farther than we are close
Our hands always still meet
When we reach out our hands
but this change is something that I have yet to understand

You look in the mirror each day
And prepare yourself for your journey
And each time you walk out the door
You are always in a hurry
You seem to change each and every day
Then you come back to me
And you give me that hard look
Just like you have faced defeat

We are identical in nature
Yet we are worlds apart
I am a part of you
But we differ on some parts
I use to know you so much
I used to know you so well
Before you walked out of that door
It seems like the world has changed you
You are now so cold
You smile in my presence
But I can clearly see
That slowly you are changing
From the person you use to be


"Never let the world change you! Everyone wasn't meant to be like everyone else....." -Monica Renata

You Used To

You used to say you loved me
There were certain things you used to do
You used to make me smile all day
You used to see things through

You used to always smile around me
There were certain things you used to say
You used to always seem so happy
You used to try to see me every day

But my how times have changed
You are not who you used to be
Or perhaps it is I
Maybe I am not the old  me
Each second, each minute, each hour that goes by
Which turns into days and then weeks
Seems as though we are slowly realizing
We each are not who we used to be

You used to make me smile all the time
You used to never make me scared
But now when I stare in your eyes
I don't know who resides in there
There is a coldness that has overtaken you
You are but a stranger in my eyes
For you use to be the cause of my happiness
But now you make me cry

I'm trying

And in my instance of sorrow
You still stand there
Afraid to open your mouth
And yet you just stare

And I cower in the corner
Cause I can't get through to you
What has made this happen??
Why can't we pull through???

I'm pulling on rope
That only bruises my hand
You are so close
But you are no where near

I want to hold you
I want to cry
But in my instance of sorrow
You are there yet away somehow

I want you to hear me
But you can't hear me
I want you to see me
But you can't see me
I'm trying to get through to you
Trying to open your mind
But you stare blankly
Into the night sky

Just say something
Say something Please!!!
Don't make me leave
I want to stay in your heart
I don't want to leave
But what am I to do
When your world stands still
And I am erased...but yearn for you I still

In my instance of sorrow
You are there
I see us coming to an end
But It's hard to swallow that pill
Just tell me something
Say something now!!!
Because I want to get through to you
But I just don't know how

Tired

I'm tired of being tired
I'm blind but I can see
I'm hurting but I feel no pain
I'm surrounded by no one but me

Just completely empty
Quite frankly sick of it all
In my loneliness I'm lonely
And when I rise I so do fall

I'm tired of being tired
Tired of sleeping but getting no sleep
I'm complicated like a puzzle
But easy like finding 'sea' in 'seat'

Exhausted yet wide awake
Wide awake but mentally sleep
I'm tired of being tired
I need a bed so I can sleep

You Promised

When evening comes

And the light in the sky

Slowly fades away

You grab hold of my hand

And tell me softly

This is where I shall stay

A grip that is so tight

Like a nail in a piece of wood

You promise that you will never let go

Even if you could

Through the terrifying things

I see through my life

You stay by my side

You comfort me when I am worried

You tell me not try cry

And just when I think you will let go

Because you are angered with me

You remind me of that promise

That you will never leave

I roam through countless deserts

Get on ships that sail the seas

And your hand still hold mines closely

Keeping the promise you made to me

Through the countless blizzards

Through the endless thunderstorms

You are there for me each day

You won't leave me alone

 When evening comes

And the light in the sky

Slowly fades away

You grab hold of my hand

And tell me softly

This is where I shall stay

And although I have doubts at time

You have always seen me through

For you have kept your promise to me

And did exactly what you said you would do

The Conversation

Hey there!!

How are you? 

You look beautiful today!

I love the twinkle in your eye

And that smile upon your face!

You seem so refreshed today

Like I have never seen!

Someone must have made you happy

Or you have come to term with things!

So tell me how life's going for you!?

What is new in your life!!

I heard things are changing for the best?

I heard there are new people in your life!

Oh wait

Your smile got bigger

I guess I am somewhat right!!!

Oh...please do tell!!!

This shall be a delight!

Aww that is so great to hear

Awww look at the time

I guess it is my time to go

Until we meet next time

Writing Prompt: Is Love Enough?

Is love enough?
Can love improve the world?

My answer is YES......but.......

Love must be redefined, and if that happens then love may be enough. I think what is wrong with the world is that we misconstrue the true definition of the word 'Love'. We only think about love in the aspect of what truly benefits us. We base the concept of love on how we are feeling at the moment while neglecting the true definition of it.

'Love' is a great feeling of affection
'Affection' is a feeling of fondness
'Fondness' is an affection of liking of something or someone
'Liking' is to have a feeling of regard

Regard is defined as follows: "To consider or think of (someone or something) in a specified way."

And to be quite honest, we only 'REGARD' the things that affect our lives. Which is the problem. We neglect to think about others because they do not think about us. We don't pay attention to issues in the world that do not directly effect us. And that is what is wrong..... Love could solve so many things....However, many of us do not truly understand what love is.......This is just my opinion though.

But I ask you this........ Is love enough for you?

Peace Be Still

Peace be still my darling
Do not utter a sound
Do not question your surroundings
Do not wonder why or how

Peace be still my darling
Do not run away
For have faith in your abilities
And let the calmness in your heart stay

Through the raging storms of life
Through the fires which burn in the seas
Do not lose faith in yourself
Always just "believe"
Life may not go your way at times
But it doesn't mean life isn't for you
Peace Be Still my darling
For you shall make it through

The Garden

Such a precious plot of land

Lovely in its own right

Doesn't really have a certain crop

Doesn't really have a certain size

Such a precious plot of land

With soil that is so unique

For it can be dry and lacking water

Then very fertile the next week

Such a precious plot of land

One so chooses to keep

Its greatness depends on the owner

Who holds all the seeds

Of all the things that could be harvested

The owner decides that fate

For they can decide to plant love

Or they can decide to plant hate

The beauty of the garden 

Which is actually your mind

You can plant crops that will blossom forever

Or let the weeds overtake your life

How

How am I to trust you

When you clearly don't trust me?

How am I to understand where you are coming from

If you won't let me see?

How am I suppose to confide in you

If you can't talk to me now?

How am I suppose to make you happy

When it seems like I can never make you smile?

I'm trying so hard to trust you

But you don't trust me

I want to see where you are coming from

But you won't let me see

I want to confide in you

But you can't even talk to me now

I want to make you happy

But you won't let me make you smile....

What am I to do

When I want US to be......

I am now constantly wonder

If there will ever be...

A you and me

Getting Rid of the Burden

Riding on your coat tails
Unable to pick up the slack
Consuming all your thoughts
Who knows what comes next

I know this is hard for you
I know you are wondering why
But I promise I won't be a burden
I'm just going to let all of this die

Stress is through the rough right now
Unable to stand on two feet
Can't even hear my heart beat
But somehow it is pounding as we speak

It's just too much for you right now
It's even too much for me
But I will relieve you of this burden
I'm preparing as we speak

Emotions running high
Days and nights I can't sleep
I gotta do what's best for you
I gotta do what's best for me

I know this is hard for you
Because it is definitely hard for me
But this burden has got to go
So don't let tears fall down your cheeks

Love Letter

There are words that float around my head

But won't come from my lips

And these words would mean so much to you

But I am afraid to admit

Admit how I feel about you

Admit how you make me feel

I have all these words inside my head

But speaking them sounds too unreal

Instead of speaking endlessly

And being afraid to come in your sight

I will write down all the words I want to say

Words in which you would like

I want you to know that I care about you

That you make me so happy

That every night I think about you

And every time I see you it's like a dream

I want you to know I love to hold your hand

That feeling is so divine

As my fingers slip between your fingers

I know you and I are so right

I want you to know that you make me smile

More than I have ever smiled before

And at times I'm afraid of loving you

Because I haven't loved someone like this before

Of all the words I never speak

That always float in my head

The majority are very positive

And I'm just afraid to say it

So next time I am quite

Don't take it as such a bad thing

There are many things I want to tell you

Yet I am sometimes afraid to speak

And instead of speaking endlessly

I think I might just continue to write

I love you

I love you 

I love you

And I know that you and I are so right!!

Krispy Kreme

Sweeter than cake

But brilliant too

I lick my lips

I can't wait to taste you

So soft and yet oh so sweet

Euphoric feelings take over me

Your body I can't wait to taste

Your warmth makes me run to you before it's too late

I close my eyes

And I swallow you

I savor the moment

Until breakfast is through

Oh in the mornings how I think of you

So soft, so sweet, and lightly glazed too

Your bad for my health

But your good for me too

Oh Krispy Kreme donuts

How I so love you

Who Knows

Who knows what tomorrow holds? 

Who knows where we will be? 

Who knows the depths of the oceans? 

Who knows the entire contents of the seas?

No one may know these things

No one may know the truth

But what I do know

Is how I feel for you

I don't know what tomorrow holds

But I wish it was a future with you

I don't know where I will be

But hopefully it's standing next to you

I don't know the depths of the seas

But I know that I love you so deep

I don't know the entire contents of the seas

But I know within you I found me

I know all of these things

I know all of these are my inner truths

But most importantly I know exactly

How I really feel about you

Racing Forward

Heart beats loud

I move my feet

Fear overtaking me

Who knows what the future holds? 

I think that I will never know..

Eyes closed shut

My mouth won't react

I am lost and confused

In the corner I sat

Wondering what I am to do

I wonder if it is them I should pursue

My heart beats loud

I move my feet

Fear then starts to overtake me

But I can't let go of what I don't know

So I run into my future

Without my eyes closed

My mouth which was shut

Can now speak

I am lost and confused

But I can't let this be

Move out of the corner

And into the light

I have to be and finally pursue

The person I would like

I have to stop wondering

It is time to pursue

"You can't be the reason that you hold back YOU"

That voice in my head is definitely right

I have to reach my utmost potential

I have to live my LIFE

Short & Sweet

Short and sweet

Like two words in melody

The feeling when you hold my hand

Joyous are the days I am with you

The feeling of two kids playing in sand

To know you is to love you

And loved you is what I did

Short and sweet

Like the two words I spoke

Whenever you asked for my hand

Tug-Of-War

For years I used to enjoy tug-of-war
For I thought it was unique
But after growing older
I found out that the victory wasn't so sweet

I question what is the point
Of bloodying your hands
In hopes of winning a battle
That just pulls you across some land

What are you really winning?
It is just a coarse rope!?
There is no magical thing that happens!
It seems like all a big joke

But now that I am older
Someone wants to play this game
And in my head I'm thinking
They have to be insane

What's the point of trying so hard
To get you on my side
When each time I pull harder
I can feel a piece of you die

And each time that you grip tighter
You kill a piece of me
For I can't go any longer
And a sunnier tomorrow I can't see

We fighting to stay together
Yet we are pulling so hard that we drifting apart
For in this game  tug-of-war
It seems we both have lost

Follow

I followed you this morning

I couldn't let you get away

I ventured with you in the sunshine

I also stood with you in the rain

I followed you this evening

As the moon made the night sky bright

Even though my brain told me this was wrong

I knew you would think this was right

I will follow you to the moon and back

I will follow you across the oceans and seas

For I know what makes me happy

And when you are happy I am pleased

Through each unfortunate tomorrow

I will follow you for all time

For I rather follow my heart in life

Than to question my heart "why?"

The Cover Up

Falling down

Rolling on a hill

And then finally touching 

The hands of a soul

So broken

So cold

And they won't cease

They keep falling down

Continuously

Creating a stain

Of Emotion it reeks 

Surrounded by no one

But pain and grief

Wondering what there is to do

When consumed with guilt

And afraid to face the truth

As these tears roll down my cheeks

They fall in my hand

And they just won't cease

As I Lay

For months I have been here
For months it was the same thing
Family would come to visit me
They would come for my birthday and sing

To be surrounded by these white walls
Which have no sense of soul
I will lay in my bed
As each day I grow old

The sun rises up each morning
And I wake up to watch
I feel the heat come through my window blinds
I'm surprised that it isn't hot
To see the it shine upon my skin
It makes me smile a lot
I shall appreciate this day
For today means a lot

The sun goes down
I watch this too
I then watch the moon and the stars
I gaze into the night sky
I wish I could be among the stars
Oh such marvelous beauty
I never use to appreciate
But its amazing how I appreciate
Every second of this day

As I'm about to take a nap
The nurse comes in the room
She says your family is coming tomorrow
And some are flying in too
I smile and then she leaves the room
But deep down I can see
That everyone is coming to see me tomorrow
Obviously something is happening to me

And as that fear strikes me
I find myself restless and not at ease
and I think of all the things I wish
I would have appreciated then
The smell of fresh cut grass
The autumn change of leaves
The smile on my family faces
The youthful version of me

The happiness...the tears...and the moments too
I took it all for granted
Back then I didn't see things through
For it was the little things in life
That I appreciated the least
But alas I must prepare myself
For my final sleep

Again

If I could hear your voice again
If I could hear you speak
My world would turn a bit brighter
And I could fall asleep

If time would stop moving forward
And allowed me to go back
I would hold you tightly in my arms
Then you never would have left

I'm waiting for something that will never come to
I'm waiting for a dream that won't come true
And it's crazy how every little thing reminds me of you...

If I could hear your voice again
That voice that's so unique
But now you are gone
So that will never be

The Housecat

I awaken in my fortress
Yet nothing bothers me
I help myself to my breakfast
And wait for the others to leave
With Mary off to work
And Jim off to go play
I can honestly say
I will have the best of days

First place is the sofa
And next are the shoes
I will feast my paws upon them
And this time I won't lose

I will peep out the windows
At the dogs who are outside
I feel as though I am royalty
I feel like I'm sitting high

Everything is placed out
Just like how I like it to be
Oh the life of a housecat
I'll enjoy this indeed

The Pouring Rain

You left me in the pouring rain
You left me in the thunder
And as the rain touches down on me
My heart can't take this no longer

Just when I think the rain is going to stop
Just when the thunder cease
I see lightning strike against me
And my heart skips a beat

You left me in the pouring rain
You left me in the thunder
And I have to get away
For my heart can't take this any longer

In Your Absence

In your absence
I was able to find
Something else
That catches my eye
It reminds me of me
But yet so unique
It shows me a place
Where I would like to be

In your absence
I was able to see
What you lacked
And what was your greatest feat
And underneath it all
I was shown the truth
The truth that showcased
The real you

In your absence
What did I find?
Something so unique
Something so divine
It has caught my attention
It is so unique
And I think that it
Will finally get me

The Host

Lurking in the back of my mind
Consuming all my thoughts
Setting up a place to live within
For I have become its host

Questioning my conscience
And always making me doubt
It feeds on my insecurities
It feeds on my inner thoughts

I take one move
And suddenly I am scared to take the next
Cowering in a corner
And wondering what to expect

For I have become its host
And it is not a delight
For fear has taken over
And fear might ruin my life

Grandma's House

Going back to grandma's house

To see the wonders within

For her place is a beautiful place

That has wonders deep within

I come across some photos

Of when I was but the age of 3

And also some little knick knacks

Which belonged to me

Her house have so many wonders

That remind me of my past

I see pictures of my mom

And also my mom's dad

What a place of so many memories

What a place to be

And it is beautifully surrounded

By two big oak trees

There is a big oven inside

That cooked those big Sunday meals

And also a large attic

That holds the Christmas Tree

Two big rockers sit on the deck

And also a swing underneath the tree

Oh I love to be at Grandma's house

That is the place to be

The Given Gift

Beautiful beginnings
And sometimes tragic ends
Life is a special gift
That everyone was given

So many don't appreciate
So many cannot see
That this gift means so much to others
Including you and me

The essence of the youthful spirit
The wise of the old
Different skills come with age
And with age you gather more

Unwavering faith
The compassion to help those in need
So many have high hopes
So many want to accomplish their dreams

Beautiful beginnings
And sometimes tragic ends
Life is a beautiful gift
Yet so many try to make other's gift end

If only everyone appreciated
And respected others gift
The world would be a better place
Because senseless killing would end

"Life is  a gift given to each and every one of us. We have no right to take others gift away"-Monica Renata

The Loveliest of Lovely

The loveliest of lovely

They say it so exist

But the loveliest of lovely

Is never on a list

Who is to say exactly what it is?

Everyone seems to have their own thoughts

Because the loveliest of lovely

Didn't start off lovely from the start

A piece of trash that glitters

Is never considered gold

However, to one they may always want it 

To cherish and to hold

The loveliest of lovely

Loved above all things

Have you had your dose of lovely

On this beautiful lovely day??

I Will Not Be Afraid

As the sun slowly goes down
And the moon begins to rise
There is a blanket of complete darkness
As soon as I close my eyes
And then all of a sudden
My world is filled with flames
And I am marching through it all
I will not be afraid

As the path seems to keep getting longer
I can feel my shirt drenched with sweat
I still have a long way to go
I must face what comes next
And through this fiery path
I am thinking "I have had enough"
But then a voice resonates and says
I will not and can not give up

Soon the walls around me
Turns into crushing waves
I stand upon my path
And watch the water extinguish the flames
And as soon as I start to smile
Water surrounds me
And the next thing that I know
Is I am drowning in a sea

Underneath the water I go
Then I come back for some air
I want to reach land
But land is no where there
And in my instance of sorrow
I feel desperate and ashamed
But then  I begin to swim forward
I will not be afraid

Paddling through this endless puddle
No one surrounding me
I have to be my own motivation
I have to push on for me
And I can hear the voices in my head
Screaming like a crowd
And they are yelling and screaming
"Keep going! You can't give up now"
And with every ounce of strength I continue into the unknown

And soon I see a glimmer of light,
two birds, 
and then a tree
And I know that the victory
Is all meant for me

As the moon begins to go down
And the sun begins to rise
There is an overwhelming light
As soon as I open my eyes
And then all of a sudden
My world consists of happiness and also pain
And I am marching through it all
I will not be afraid

Life is full of challenges, but you shouldn't be afraid to face them. Walk fearlessly into your future, and don't give up on your hopes and dreams!!! -Monica Renata

If You Ever Shall Forget Me

If you ever shall forget me
If I never ever cross your thoughts
Do remember that I thought about you
And I care about you so much

If you ever shall forget me
And I am not even a memory in your dreams
Just know that I always wonder "what if"
When I'm drifting into sleep

Just like the sunrise is recurring
So are my thoughts of you
And I don't know if you despise me
But I'm guessing that you do
However this constant thought
Has been dwelling in my head
But alas I must let go
Before I drive myself insane

If you ever shall forget me
I would fully understand why
For I don't want to be the source of your pain
And I never want to see you cry
But sometimes forgetting someone
Is sometimes the best thing
But know that I will always cherish the memories
That you and I have made

The Psychic

She asked to look at  my hand

And she could tell me then

Tell me all about my future

Tell me about the past back then

I could tell she was being serious

By the look within her eyes

On the cold streets of New Orleans

I sat amongst her side

She said, "Child you have felt pain lately?"

And I said, "No indeed"

She then asked "Did you lose someone?"

And I said "That is clearly news to me!"

See I won't believe the hype about this

Even though she sounds convincing too

Because no one really knows my past

And I feel like they can't know my future too

But as I am trying to leave

She pulls my hand and says "Child stay now!"

And I look at her with a crazed look

I can't believe what is going down

And then all the people on that New Orleans street

Quickly fade away

And the only person who remains

Is a man all dressed in grey

The old woman says, "Be easy my child

For that is the man!

The man who can ruin it all"

And then she lets go of my hand

And soon the world returns 

To everything I once knew

The people are there

The music is there

Even the psychic too

I quickly give her a 20

And then walk away

I can't believe I wasted my hard earned cash

On something not so great

And then as I am walking

I notice a taxicab driver stop

He says, "Good day my lady, where would you like to be dropped off tonight?"

And in that very moment

I feel chills all down my spine

For he is the man dressed in grey

Then I wonder if it is my time

I tell him "No Thank You"

And then I get quickly on my way

And I wonder if the psychic was right

Or was it all just fake

Hours pass throughout the day

Tick Tock goes the clock

And then I heard on the news

Passengers in a cab have been shot.......

Constructive Criticism

Who are you?

And why do you do the things that you do?

Ever been asked those questions before? It's like in that instance you are utterly speechless because you feel as though you have all of the answers but yet again.. you are uncertain. What are all the itty bitty pieces that when put together form you? At the end of the day, some of us think that we know exactly who we are. We feel as though we know ever little detail, but when someone points out something about us, we say that can't be true....because after all "You are the only person who knows yourself fully!!"... or so you think.....

It's amazing how much you can learn from someone else. I mean, looking at yourself you think you are the best you that you can be, but in another person's eyes..you aren't that great....I know this sounds harsh but it is true. Sometimes you need to take into consideration what others say about you. For example, your tone of voice which you think is acceptable may be deemed as cold and harsh by others. The way in which you present yourself to others may make you seem stuck up even though you are so down to earth. All criticism isn't bad.......

It took me a while to realize this, but now I fully  understand. I mean, I have flaws like everyone else. If someone says the way in which I speak comes off as mean, I will ask them why and then try to correct it. After all, when countless people are saying the same thing....then the accusations must be true!!!..lol

We need to learn how to take constructive criticism. It isn't a bad thing and can also help with self improvement. By definition, constructive criticism is as follows:

Constructive criticism is the process of offering valid and well-reasoned opinions about the work of others, usually involving both positive and negative comments, in a friendly manner rather than an oppositional one.

It isn't that bad..........So the next time someone says something to you about YOU, don't be quick to snap back. This can actually help you. After all, You never know how you are perceived by the world unless you let  the world tell you. 

Have a great day!!! :)

The News

Every morning I wake up
I quickly turn on the news
And every single morning
I hear of another life gone too soon

I close my eyes and pray
I say, "God please make this stop"
But upon the next morning
I hear another person has been shot

What kind of world do we live in?
Why are people so quick to take a life?
It seems like there is no reason to speak up
Because the killers always think they are right

Each day we are losing mothers and fathers and also children too
But sometimes people won't fully understand
Until it happens to you

Imagine just having a great conversation
With someone who wants to change their life
They say all of the things they are doing
In order to keep their children in their life
But then the next morning
You hear that they were blown away
And you want to cry
But you can't
So you get on your knees and pray
Why did this have to happen?
Another life gone too soon
I wish all the violence would stop
I wish it would stop soon

It hurts a lot
But what can you do even though you have fear in your heart
You only have a voice
And with that you don't know where to start

But that voice you have inside of you can be a powerful thing
If you decide to use it in a fight you can stop all sorts of things
Speak to others about violence
Tell them how it is wrong
Reach out to the kids in your community
So they don't grow up killing their own
Make people wake up
and make people see
It could be your mother or even your child
Who is next laying in the street

We all want a better world
But that better world starts with you
Just stand up for what you believe in
And don't be afraid to speak the truth
We are all afraid of violence
That is evident to see
But we can't do anything about it
If you are afraid to speak

The Homecoming

Far into the distance
Past the rolling hills
I see a very faint figure
And I wonder what it is

As the seconds turn to minutes
This figure approaches me
Is it you? Is it you?
My heart beats fast and I can't breath

As it walks a little closer
I am finally able to see his face
I try to remain calm
But then a grin comes upon my face

I can't hold in my emotion
I run the rest of the way
For it is my love
He has come back
And I can't find the words to say

I hug him oh so tightly
I don't ever want to let go
For today I am a happy women
I'm happy because he has come home

12/13/14

12/13/14
Was going to be my special day
The day that ice cold wind would blow through my hair
That beautiful Saturday

The day I planned for
Each and every day
Always wishing for it to come
And not a moment too late

12/13/14
The world would feast their eyes on me
A girl dressed like royalty
Walking down the aisle all alone
To greet her groom to be

A beautiful day in my memories
Oh how I thought this would be
But now as time draws near
I know this future isn't for me

So many times we groom young girls with crazy hopes and dreams.
We tell them that they should be a wife above all and everything
We tell them this is your ultimate success
It will make all of their wishes come true
We tell these girls that if you were good
This would happen to you

But what if that little girl was good
Her entire frickin' life
And things just didn't work out for her
Things were just never right
But she has everything else
That a woman should be proud to be
She works hard and has a loving heart
Only thing is, she is not  a wife to be

Is she suppose to bow her head
Bow her head in constant shame
Or is she suppose to keep her head high
And have hopes that things will change
We groom our young girls to think
That being single just isn't right
They have to hurry and jump the broom
And do everything right

But what about that young girl
Who constantly works hard
She has no time for dating
Cause she is trying to save money to buy a car

And what about the young girl
Who is constantly in her books
She wants to have a good job
So each night she will have something to cook

And what about the young girl
Who wants to be stable first
She is trying to make sure she is secure
So her future family will have a shot

We forget about these young girls
And we look at them in disgust
"Why aren't you married yet?"
"Your eggs will dry all up!"

But sometimes the loveliest flower
Takes a bit more time to bloom
These girls are just like fruit
And shouldn't be picked too soon
For they are waiting until they are at their peak
And when they feel like they can offer enough
They then qualify to be a "wife-to-be"

12/13/14
Was going to be my special day
But I took too much time improving myself
And now it is too late
And yes I'm disappointed
I'm probably more disappointed than you
But I can't give a man a premature crop
When he could have ripe fruit

Working

Building up with pressure
Trying hard not to bat my eyes
I stare into the distance
I can't reveal the hurt inside

Consuming myself with work
Each and every day
It helps me to relax at times
And takes all of my worries away

And then it hits once again
Just like a blood stained knife
The pain is too unbearable
But I hide it with all my might

I have to smile today
Just like I did yesterday
But I feel like I'm about to erupt
Can I last another day?

I'm building up with pressure
Trying not to cry
And in my head I continually ask myself
Why? Why? Why?

But yet I won't show any of this
I will continue to be me
Consume myself with countless work
And smile like I am happy

Peanut Butter

Peanut butter and jelly
Has always been my favorite treat
I grab my bread and knife
And I can't wait to eat

I open the can of peanut butter
And take out one big glob
But then I put three-fourths back
For I might want more next time

I take the other slice of bread
And place the jelly on in heaps
I look at the amount I placed
And I am happy and pleased

I slather my bread with jelly
So much that the bread starts to droop
And then I place the two breads together
Of my wonderful glooby gloop

I am marveled at my magic
Can't wait to taste these two fillings unite
But when I taste my sandwich
It just tastes like jelly delight

Not a trace of peanut butter
Can even be found
I guess I spread it too thin
And I find that quite profound

You see, they call me peanut butter
That is actually my nickname
They said I spread myself too thin
Among the ones I seem to entertain

No one ever gets that much of me
They only get an itty bitty piece
Cause just like my peanut butter and jelly sandwich
The peanut butter is so discreet

They call me peanut butter
Yep, that is my name
But I have to learn to stop spreading myself thin
And focus on just a few things

Imprisoned

Shackles on my ankles
Shackles on my neck
I am weighed down by my sorrows
It feels like I have no one left

No peak of sunlight
Not even a window to see
I am within my own solidarity
Locked up and they threw away the key

I know that I can rise up
And I know how
But there is something deep within me
That will not allow

The essence of a burning inferno
No one can calm this beast
It is called my Pride
And It cannot and will not be released

Oh the countless situations
That I could easily walk by
But I won't allow myself the privelage
To admit I was wrong at times

 The wavering relentlessness
The beast inside of me
I am blinded by my foolish pride
And this beast won't set me free

My Dream of Me and You

If eternities really lasted forever

And skies were always blue

I would sit under the biggest tree

And profess my love to you

If the night sky always stayed still

And the moon shined bright in the sky too

I would lay underneath the stars

And dream of me and you

So many times I ponder

On what you and I could be

I reminiscence about the time together

And wonder if you would ever leave

The uncertainty of it all kills me

But it doesn't kill my heart

Which keeps beating for you every single second

That you and I are apart

If things could be my way

I would have everything including you

But instead I will sit here and wait

Til my dream of you and I come true

Silence

Sitting in complete silence
Overwhelmed by thoughts
To have so many questions to ask
Yet feel completely lost

For who is there to speak to
When troubles comes my way
I sit in complete silence
And I wait and I wait

But in those little minutes
Which turned to hours then to days
I realize that this deafening silence
might be my only friend

And it is screaming at me

Leave this empty room filled with thoughts
Go out and make some new friends
Now is the time to start

For Silence isn't for you my child
It causes too much pain indeed
Silence is the beginning of the end
And it is now your turn to leave
 

Many times when we experience a loss, whether in death or friendship, we begin to seclude ourselves from the world around us. But that isn't always the healthiest thing to do.

 Sometimes it's better to just give up on someone than to wait and see if things will work out. Because at the end of the day, you  never really know how it will turn out and you might end up getting your feelings hurt worst than they already are. -Monica Renata

The Morning Hustle

Stumbling on forgotten sleep
Awaken from my slumber
My body moves in  decrepit ways
But my bed I can rest in no longer

The morning dew is beautiful out
Yet no birds are there to sing
For I had to rise before the sun
I do this every day

What is my motivation?
It's called a J.O.B.
For I would rather lose countless slumber
Than wake up each morning without a place to be

And yes I do value
The days that I have away
For when I am free from work
I can slumber all night and day

Work shouldn't consume your life. You should work to get the money that you want to live the life you want to live. That is its only purpose. Enjoy your life! -Monica Renata

The Climb

Climbing up this mountain

Gripping trying not to fall

I put aside all my fear

I will not be overwhelmed by it all

The sun radiates down

And the wind whips across my back

I feel my heart beat faster

And then my body starts to react

My grip gets much tighter

My feet lock in place too

I am like a little spider

Trying to climb out of a glass of juice

But yet I cannot give up

And I will not give up now

I reach up ahead of me

And I never look back down

I keep going til I am almost there

And then my fingers bleed

But this is just one trouble

I will have to suck up indeed

Hand, Foot

Hand, Hand, Foot

Seems to be the pattern of the climb

And then I feel a blade of grass

And I know the win is mines

Life is full of challenges

Some are mountains indeed

But just have faith in yourself

And always believe

Believe that you are capable

Believe that you can accomplish all

Because you will be surprised at the things you can accomplish

Even though they are so tall

They always said I couldn't do it

They said it was too much for me

But I have climbed a mountain every day

And the mountain is the one who faced defeat

Life is full of challenges. Some are big and some are small. Sometimes we complain about hills in life, and fear the mountains because they are so tall. But every goal can be accomplished, and it all starts within you. For you can complete any climb, if to yourself you are always true!!  -Monica Renata

The Last Kiss

A kiss
Something that can mean so little
Yet also mean the most
I sit down and I wonder
I ponder what it would be like
For they are the object of my desire
Yet, I am afraid
I am afraid to make a move because I am doubtful
But I wonder
Could this be it.....
Could this be the first kiss that turns into the last kiss of my life
Could this person be the one to open my eyes to a new world I have yet to encounter
Hmmmm....

I never encountered a love like this

You are the my first and my last kiss

Emotion so raw and yet so true

All of my emotions that I have for you

Two souls connecting 

Dancing lightly in air

I can feel it in my heart

Because in my heart you are there

So unbelievable 

I never thought it to be true

Two souls intertwined 

As lovers do

Flesh touches flesh

And bodies unite

You grab me softly

I don't want to leave from your sight

Kiss me so passionately 

Like true loves do

My first

My last

Will always be you

My Favorite Flowers

Just like my favorite flowers

So beautiful and bright

Enhances the mood of the room

Radiates in the light

Each petal is uniquely beautiful

The fragrance smells so divine

You remind me of my favorite flowers

Only difference is that you get better with time

The Collection

A collection of so many pieces
These pieces which create a whole
Never truly ever seen together
Yet each piece continues to grow old

A collection of beautiful pieces
Yet few only the eye can see
The owner holds on to each piece tightly
Rarely giving others one piece

A beautiful collection
I decided to give to you
Giving you the ability to piece together
All of my inner truths
Oh how much I have given
I have given so much of me
You had every piece that made me whole
You had every piece of me

A collection of so many pieces
These pieces which create a whole
I prayed and prayed and prayed to God
To find someone who could hold..
Hold on to every piece of me
Be there when I needed a friend
Accept me for who I am
Help soothe my doubts within
I thought I found that person..
That one who's hands were large enough to hold
But instead now my pieces
Are smaller pieces than before

Pretty, Pretty, Pretty

Pretty, Pretty, Pretty
That's what they say to me
Yet they take no time
To see what's underneath

Pretty, Pretty, Pretty
That's what they seem to see
But what if all of this makeup
Quickly went away

Pretty, oh so pretty
What it is like being a girl
Being valued by her physical appearance
While her insides are ignored by the world

I could say I miss you

I could say that I miss you
But that wouldn't mean a thing
For I don't think you even care
I don't think you care about me

I could say that I miss you
But that wouldn't make sence at all
Because if I really missed you
Maybe I would pick up the phone and call

I could say that I miss you
But my actions prove otherwise
I pretend like it doesn't bother me
But I'm really hurting inside

I could say I miss you
In fact, I really do
But what is the point of missing someone
Who doesn't miss you

Money, Money, Money

Money, Money, Money

It can buy you many things

It can buy you flashy cars

It can buy you diamond rings

It can put food on the table

And also gas in your ride

Money, Money, Money

We need that in our lives

Whether it is paper or shiny copper coins

We want more and we need more now!

For money we can't avoid

It is essential to our existence

Or so we think somehow

Money, Money, Money

We need it for everything

We want it all

We need it all

We have to have it today

Those clothes you wear today

That burger and those fries

The toothpaste used to brush your teeth

Each had a dollar value

Each cost cash to see

The house you live in

Your medical care

The coffin when you die

Money, Money, Money

It seems like it buys everything you need in your life

But then when you get at home 

You finally sit around and think...

And that's when it finally hits you

You really haven't bought a thing

Oh what joy it is to be surrounded

By so many materialistic things

I thought money bought me happiness

But money didn't buy me a thing

The best things in life have no value. Appreciate each moment and love with all your heart! -Monica Renata