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Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Going it Alone

"I'm going to the movies alone..............."

Never in a million years would I have ever thought of doing this. I mean, who does that? The only people who go to the movies alone are weirdos, friendless people...... you know.... people who are NOT you. 
But you know what.........what is so bad about it? 

Today, I sat at work thinking about how much I wanted to go see a movie. In all honesty, I thought about it for quite some time,  however, I didn't want to go alone. Therefore, I waited because I thought others would have asked me to go or even hint that they wanted to go to a movie...but none of this ever happened. In my attempt to "not go it alone" I even asked some of my friends...who turned down the request because they were "not into" that kind of movie. So there I was.... Wanting so see a movie..... but had no one to go see it with. And quite frankly, everyone seemed so wrapped up in their life, that doing something that is considered "uninteresting" to them would be such a burden. 

I'm not going to lie, I actually felt pitiful. 
There I was... 
Wanting to see a movie that I waited to come out for over 2 years.....
.and didn't have anyone to go with....not a dang soul
But hey, I wanted to go see it... So I had it in my head that I was going to go but I had to call others to get reassurance.

I called some friends and asked them if they would ever go see a movie alone. I was hoping that they would have encouraging words however, they did not have anything nice to say. 

"That's so lame!! Who goes to the movies alone?"
"Going to the movies alone is boring....."
"A person must be really desperate and unliked if they go see a movie alone.."

These types of comments kept coming. I actually decided to cancel my plans to initially see the movie because of them. But then I thought to myself, Why am I afraid to go alone

I couldn't even answer that question......... It's not like I thought I would have been taunted by the movie theater ghost.... Nor was it that I thought the Loser logo would be stamped on my forehead....The truth was.... I was just afraid of what others think....But why should I even care about what others think of me? So what if they think I'm lame!!!.... So what if they think I am desperate or unliked!!!!..... truth is... they can THINK whatever they wish of me because at the end of the day I know myself. And I know that I am not any of those things. 

I went to the movies. Alone. I went so early in the day that only a handful of people were in there.. And I had a great time. I laughed, I was entertained, and I was happy...But most importantly, I learned something about myself. 

If you are constantly afraid to do things alone, you will miss out on true growth and some of the best experiences in life

I find this event as a stepping stone to my future. I no longer will let the thoughts of others deter me from what I want to do. We all come across roadblocks in life, and many times those roadblocks are people's thoughts...but we just don't realize it them. 

Wake up!!! Stop being scared of lonely because lonely isn't  a bad thing. Don't be afraid to burn your own path in life. Don't be afraid to venture from the crowd. Sure it might be scary, but you will definitely thank yourself later. 

I went see a movie alone...
And no it didn't suck as much as I thought it would have..
It actually made me realize that sometimes I should be satisfied with just the company of ME. 




Sunday, March 9, 2014

The Wait

As the sky went from blue to midnight
As my room slowly faded to black
Thoughts wandered through my mind
But in my spot I so sat

A place that is so old
Yet it always seems brand new
The place you told me to wait
If I wanted to ever see you

Surrounded by what I always knew
But yet also surrounded by the unknowns
Thoughts racing through my mind
I can't figure out which way I shall one day go

To leave this place would be a dream
But to leave would be a dream not so much
So instead I will just wait it out
Waiting for your touch

But I can't do this forever
One day I want to be free
I can't keep waiting for forever
So now may be my time to leave

As the sky went from midnight to blue
As my room slowly faded to blue from black
Thoughts wandered through my mind
But in my spot I so sat
Yet this time I wasn't as still
As I have been before
My feet finally started moving
And I'm making my way towards the door









Sunday, March 2, 2014

Insides

Twigs upon the great oak tree
Seem to break with the wind
Limbs which were thought to be strong
Actually do bend
The outer appearance shows much
But it doesn't show all
To be strong on the outside
Doesn't reflect what's inside and that's the downfall

As strong as a great big wall
But hallow on the inside
Putting on a mask of a greater emotion
Than what is really felt inside
Standing like the great oak tree
So strong and beautiful indeed
But if only others knew
That my insides were so weak

"Hiding emotions really doesn't solve anything... It just makes you weaker. " -Monica Renata 


Friday, February 28, 2014

The Bricks They Shall Throw

The Bricks They Shall Throw
By: Monica Renata

You started building your castle
Started building from the floor
Bricks are piled before your feet
Yet they keep throwing more

Surrounded by your enemies
Who disguised themselves as friends
On and On you shall keep building
Hoping one day this pain will end

Constant jokes are about you
They are calling you out your name
You want to leave this place
You are very much ashamed

But in your instance of sorrow
Your castle walls shall grow
And soon you shall stand in a fortress
Made up of what others decided to throw

Stronger than what stood before
Each brick gave a little more strength
Those words hurt you deeply
But inside you found your inner strength

Beautiful and lovely
So much stronger than you were before
Just continue to build towards your dreams daily
Despite the bricks that others may throw


"Never let what others say deter you from your dreams!! Take their negative comments and turn it into motivation for you to move forward!" -Monica Renata

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

They Said I wouldn't Make It

They Said I Wouldn’t Make it
By: Monica Renata

They said I wouldn’t make it
So I said I disagree
And then they made a circle around
And starting teasing me

They said I wouldn’t make it
So I said that can’t be so
For I have faith in myself
And I resonate with hope

They said I wouldn’t make it
So I didn’t say a word
I did what I had to do
And I started to ignore

Ignore all of the negative comments
Ignore everyone but me
Because in order to truly make it
I have to be true to me

They said I wouldn’t make it
Oh how they wished that was so true
Because now I am excelling past them
And making my wishes come true

"Don't let the negative opinion of others make you afraid to accomplish your goals." - Monica REnata

Fly

Fly
By: Monica Renata

On our backs they sat
Yet they seemed so heavy to hold
We always thought others were holding us back
But that was not always so

A burden that is so heavy
Makes us unable to reach the mountain that is so high
There is a fire brewing in our belly
Yet still we are unable to fly

Trying to get one foot off the ground
But being held down each time
The world is slowly moving but we cannot hear a sound

And on our back they so sat
So beautiful indeed
Almost comparable to eagles
These beautiful and powerful wings

Yet no matter how strong they are
They still will be unable to help you fly
If you hold on to all your pain
If you let hope in your heart die

Glorious beginnings
Please take life in stride
Don’t hold on to all of life’s hurt
Let go and you will be able to fly!!

“In order to excel in life, you must be willing to let of the things that hold you down.” –Monica Renata

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Winter to Spring

Winter snow is falling down
Soon to be no more
For Spring is finally coming
And life shall no longer be a bore

Birds will once again fly around
And the leaves will show once again on trees
For Spring is the loveliest of seasons
And since it is coming I am pleased



Friday, February 21, 2014

No Exceptions

Nature provides exceptions
For every single rule
And alas I fell for it completely
And I got lost in you

The things I said I wanted
Didn't matter if they weren't with you
I was lost in my own stupidity
I was acting like a fool

I said I would never make exceptions
But then I couldn't see
How I could make everything work
If I really wasn't happy

So I threw out the idea of what I wanted
And I said I would never look back
I said at least I'm happy
So what if they may lack

But as time goes on
There are some things that you will see
The other will constantly wonder
"Why are they talking to me?"
And they will confront you
With what you said you wanted before
And you won't be able to answer
Because in your heart you want them more

More than those petty things you wanted
More than what you ever said you need
But even if you voice this to them
You  know they won't believe

So therefore make no exceptions
Stick to what you say you want
Because sometimes liking someone for themselves
Really isn't enough

People want to feel secure
They want to know that to others they can't compare
So next time just stick with what you want
Or what you get will vanish in thin air


Just Give It Your All.........Or Maybe Not

“If you really want something, you have to give it your all.”………….. I know everyone has heard this before. We are taught from our young years that if we want something bad enough all we have to do is put our all into and. And if we put our ALL into it, we will reach our goals………But is that true? Are you capable of achieving what your heart may so desire just by giving it YOUR ALL???

The answer is yes, and no…………You see, when we have a goal that is solely dependent on us, then of course if we give it our all we can accomplish it. For example, say I want to become a college graduate. That is indeed a possibility. I can do all the things required to reach that point. Sign up for fianancial aid, come up with ways to fund my schooling, study, devote my free time to indulging myself in my studies, put my ALL into it… you know stuff like that… and eventually I will obtain my goal.

The difficulties come in when your goal revolves around another person as well. For example, let me see……..let’s talk about the topic of relationships. You can want a relationship to last and prosper into something else (ya know, possibly marriage). So you do everything to try to make it work. You put aside your selfish pride. You devote a lot of your time into the other person. You make them feel special (or so you thought), you let them into your life fully, basically YOU GIVE THEM YOUR ALL………but then later on, it just doesn’t work. Hmmmm, I wonder why? Many times I see many people say, “I gave it my all so I don’t understand why it didn’t work” but the truth is, your all is only good enough when you are the only variable in the equation. When someone else is in the mix, your good enough could be cancelled out by their weakness and your best then becomes mediocre.

“I gave it my all”………. Athletes usually say this too. Sometimes you can give something your all, but then experience a loss. Like the other team just obliterated you; the score was 15 to 72 (a horrible loss). You feel like you gave it your all, and then you wonder was your all good enough? It probably was, however, it did not radiate to others because the rest of your team lacks skill..lol.

This happens. This is life. Is there a reason to cry over it? No, not really. But hey, sometimes a good cry could help you with the situation (tears are sometimes like therapy!!!). I guess what I am trying to say is…….”If you really want something, you have to give it your all”……….. and if it doesn’t work out SO WHAT!!! YOU TRIED!!! And you should be happy about that. Your personal best shouldn’t be defined by the best of others. Things happen and life goes on. And sometimes a few bad experiences help mold you into a phenomenal person. So reach for the stars and don’t let anyone tell you that your best isn’t good enough. Because eventually, everything you desire will be in your grasp, and one day those relationships will work out, and your team will win those games, and all that good stuff.

So smile, and keep on truckin!!! Because if you really want something……….. and you give it your all……You have a higher chance of obtaining it than if you didn’t try at all.

Have a great day,
Monica Renata

Don't get TOO Comfortable

Don’t ever get too comfortable
That’s what they always say
For obviously something is wrong with comfort
And it is something in which you shall run away

Don’t ever get too comfortable
They say with that look in their eyes
Yet usually when they say this
They are the one with the surprise

“Surprise! Guess what! I’m leaving!”
“You have to be ready for this now!”
“Because I said don’t get too comfortable”
“So on your face shall remain that smile”

“Surprise! Guess what! I planned this!”
“Quite some time ago”
“That’s why I always said”
“Don’t get too comfortable!”

Don’t ever get too comfortable
That’s what they always say
For obviously I shouldn’t be comfortable
Because it is them who shall run away

But alas I rather be comfortable
I rather be at ease with my day
For comfort is a form of relaxation
And I shall not stress today

Transform

Bye Bye to the old me
Adios to what came before
Now is the time to make the change
Now is the time to transform

Growth in all directions
Endless potential in sight
I can not remain complacent
For victory is right in my sight

Forward into the future
Not looking back at the past
I will be greater than before
To transform is now the task

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

It's hard for me to express my feelings

It's hard for me to express my feelings
So instead I write them down
I write sad things when I am happy
I write happy things when I frown

It's like I have to be a puzzle
I can't let anyone see
See how I am truly feeling
So I write words so all can see

Because words are something different
They are actually quite unique
They can mean one thing to you...
While also meaning another to me

I could say the wind was blowing
And leaves hit the ground
And to me that represents the tears flowing
And the wind "whooshing" is my cry

I could say the flowers bloomed
And were beautiful for all to see
But actually this represents love
That has finally reached its peak

It's hard for me to express my feelings
So instead I write them down
But alas it solves nothing
And my world keeps tumbling down

I'm Beautiful

I'm Beautiful
By: Monica Renata

I'm beautiful on the inside
Even though you cannot see
My heart is as pure as water
My emotions are true as they can be

I'm beautiful on the outside
Even though I may not get many stares
I have a presence that is undeniable
I sometimes express myself by what I wear

I am very beautiful
On the outside and underneath
I may not be your definition of beautiful
But I am beautiful to me



The Trap

The Trap
By: Monica Renata

Clinging on the mountainside
I watch as you react
You have a look of shock on your face
You don’t know how to act
Your heart is beating fiercely
You tell me “hold on, don’t let go”
You want me in your life completely
You can’t image living your life alone

Clinging on the mountainside
I watch as you react
You reach your hand out to me
But I refuse like a brat
“Why are you doing this?!”
“Give me your hand so we can go!”
But I know that this is a trap
And I can’t do this anymore

I can’t let you rescue me this time
Because what I’m running from is you
I can’t keep going back to you
Even though you are the only one I knew
I can’t allow myself to be broken further
Because I know I will be broken again this time
I can’t keep chasing what makes me happy
If what makes me happy also makes me cry

Clinging on the mountainside
I watch as you react
You have a look of shock on your face
You don’t know how to act
I fell for this too many times
I can no longer fall for this trap

I have to let go of this all
I have to stop neglecting me
I have to find my true freedom
As I float upon the wind

Monday, February 17, 2014

Paper People

If people were like paper
And were made from great big trees
How much would you appreciate them?
How much would their value really mean? 

Would you tattoo their flesh with hearts? 
Would you write lovely words on them? 
Or would you crumble them up and throw them away
Hoping to never see them again? 

If people were like paper
Would you finally be able to see
See how your words affect them?
See the hurt underneath? 

How broken you made them feel? 
How crumbled they are inside? 
If people were like paper
A straight one would be hard to find

For life throws everyone curve balls
And life isn't always sweet
We are constantly straightened out as best as can be
After we overcome a defeat

But the wrinkles in that paper
Will always be there
The stains of the past can't be washed away
Yet they can't be seen by a simple stare

People guard their feelings
With the expressions on their face
No one truly knows the person inside
No one knows what they been through to date

If people were like paper
It would be so neat
Because we could all see that we aren't perfect
Yet we all are still very unique

We could understand that everyone's been hurt
We could see that many have overcame
And the wrinkliest of paper people
Had a lot to overcome




Sunday, February 16, 2014

Prettier Than Me

As I stare into the mirror
I can't describe what I see
My vision is so blurry
But I know that ahead is a picture of me

She is just so plain and simple
Not at all unique
No glamour of the movie stars
Not the pearliest of white teeth

Her clothes are somewhat tattered
Worn from years of use
She tries to smile
But suddenly she gets confused

What is there to smile about
There is nothing here to see
Some changes must be made
She has to be the woman you want her to be

So out she pulls her makeup bag
That allows her to doodle away
She starts to prepare everything
And brush makeup on her face

She highlights her eyes
The eyes that she thought you never knew
She paints her lips so carefully
Those lips which always yearned to kiss you

She works on her masterpiece
She even does her hair
She curls it like the girls you like
She wants you to stare

And soon when she is satisfied
She will finally smile
And put down all of her brushes
And begin to dress herself in a new style

All of this for you
Not an ounce of it for me
Yet when I finally reveal myself
It isn't I that you see

Her eyes are so much brighter
Her clothes are so brand new
Her waist is definitely smaller
Her smile is pearly white too

She has just everything
Everything I wanted to be
I wanted to make you happy
But she is prettier than me

Her looks catch your attention
While my looks are just a bore
You ask her out on dates
And it hurts me to the core

My feelings are so hurt
I can't paint on what I am not underneath
I can't even compete
I don't stand a chance
I get it
She's prettier than me




I Understand

Standing face to face
Expressing words that are true to you
I wish you could hear my feelings
I wish that you knew the truth

Telling me what's bothering you
But not knowing what bothers me
I can feel myself fall apart
While I am standing on my two feet

Your words they pierce like daggers
My heart skips a few beats
Your words are stinging each part of me
Killing me softly on repeat

Looking deeply in my eyes
You want to make sure your words are known
You ask for my response
You say you can't do this anymore

I say I understand
But that is not quite true
For every time I say that
I am just trying not to disappoint you

I say I understand
But in my mind I wonder still
I can't seem to take all of this in
But I have no choice but to swallow this pill

I say I understand
But I wish you would school me
On how you are really feeling
About where you wish you could be

I can't comprehend the worse
I refuse to crush the bit of hope in my hand
I don't understand what you want right now
But I will say
I understand






In The Corner

And In that corner I so sat
As I let love pass me by
Drifting away into a deep sleep
Calming myself with lullabies

Trying to tame my trembling heart
Trying to make sense of what it's been through
Slowing taking out the shards of glass
That were placed there by you

You who had my heart completely
You who made me complete
You who made my heart beat fiercely
You who decided to retreat

Of all the love I had bursting inside
And the love you had to turn out not be so true
But I have to pull myself together
I have to get over you

Drifting away in that corner
Waiting for my mind to sleep
I shall rest easy once you aren't on my mind
For I need my inner peace



I Missed The Bus

I missed the bus again today
It just went  passing by
I got a whiff of the black smoke
I got dirt in my eyes

I missed the bus again today
It is now on the next street
Waiting to  pick up its next passengers
Waiting for everyone but me

I missed the bus again today
Just like I did last time
I think I have to be more alert
And stop letting opportunities pass me by


Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Valentine's Day Freebie



The Awkward Butterfly







Keyword: Love







Keyword: Inner Strength




Cliche Love Poem

Cliché Love Poem
By: Monica Renata

If I knew a billion words
If I knew the right words to say
I would tell you exactly how much you take my breath away

If I had a nice big raincoat
If I had a boat to sail the sea
I would tell you that I would cross the oceans for you to be with you always

If I could pick some flowers
If I could recite their colors too
I would tell you roses are red, and so are my cheeks when I see you

For when I’m without you I feel as if I can’t breathe
For I can’t image my world without you
To find you I would cross the many seas
You are the brightest flower in the bunch
You are the one who I choose
And I love that you love me for me
So here is what else I would do

If you wanted a bowl of cereal
If there was no milk in the fridge
I would run to the store across the street to see you smile like a kid

If you were caught in the storming rain
If you tripped in a puddle and messed up your shoes
I would have a warm pair of clothes ready for you and also a bowl of warm soup

If you were having a bad day
If you felt like the world was against you
I will be your number one fan, and let you know that your special!

Oh the many things I would do
To express my love for you
I guess there are many ways I can “Do” what I always say
I love you, I love you, I love you




Five

Five
By: Monica Renata

Five is the magic number
That connects us once again
To take my five and then your five
And intertwine them in an embrace

Powers begins to exchange between us
We each hold on tight
And then you grab your other arm
And connect my other five to your five

So much energy between us
We never want to let go
Moments I wish could last forever
Moments I feel through my soul

Just your hand within my hand
Brings tears trickling down my face
I feel something deep within

You have left a memory that can’t be erased


Stone-faced Soldier

Stone-faced Soldier
By: Monica Renata

Bullets going everywhere
Bombs are in close sight
So much devastation around
Gunpowder is drowning out the light

Death around as far as the eye can see
No sign of peace close by
There is no need to try to hide
For you can’t escape even if you close your eyes

The cries of other men
Become too much to bear
But in order to accept reality
Obtained is the stone-faced stare

Face no longer blushed with red
Breathing is as normal as can be
The mouth doesn't form a frown
Nor does it smile or show its teeth

Void of all emotions
No joys celebrated in life
Disappointments don’t exist
A mere spectator of others lives

Life is a battlefield
So many are afraid to get hurt
Instead of wearing their heart on their sleeve
They trample their own hearts like dirt

For what is the point of exposing a thing
That at times is fragile and breaks
Emotion dies within their soul
And they develop that Stone-face

They won’t show an ounce of emotion
They won’t show exactly how they feel
For they are a stone-faced soldier
And life is their battlefield

Marching on in life
Not caring what others may feel or speak
For they live life unconnected
And sit on the bench of life while others are out on the field

“Do not let the fear of getting your feelings hurt hold you back from living! When you decide not to live your life, you will end up watching others live theirs.”  – Monica Renata 


You, I love YOU

You, I love YOU
By: Monica Renata

You
You make me happy
You make me smile from ear to ear
You make me feel so secure

When I am having a bad day all I have to think of is YOU and then I will feel better.

You
You have the loveliest laugh
You are so caring
You are the reason I know what love is

When I doubt that love exists all I have to do is look at you to be assured that it exists and it radiates brightly from within YOU.

You
You are so special to me
You have so many imperfections which make you perfect in my eyes
You are the type of person I always dreamed of meeting

When I think of my future I can’t think of living it without YOU………………..

You
You are the greatest person I have ever met
You make me happier than I have ever been
You mean so much more to me than you think
And that’s why
I Love YOU!

Best Served Cold

Best Served Cold
By: Monica Renata

The dish they say is best served cold
That dagger stained with hate
The vicious look in your big bright eyes
That look of disgust on your face

To wish upon someone’s demise
Yet not utter a single word to speak
But someday you will get them back
For then, you will let your actions speak

Heart beating fiercely
No one sings kumbaya 
Palms are getting sweaty
Trust in mankind is gone

A hearty soup that’s been iced down
A serving of maggoty cheese
Revenge is a dish best served cold
And so revolting that no one can eat

To wish upon someone’s demise
Yet not utter a single word to speak
But someday you will get them back
For then, you will let your actions speak

An aged knife I found in the house
A conscious that no longer thinks
I shall embark on my revenge
Cold Blooded is what they will call me

To wipe away your past sins
With your very own blood
The killer will never think he murders

For revenge is all he knows

Time Waits

Time Waits 
By: Monica Renata

They say time waits for no man
Yet I think that is not true
For time always waits for me
While I am waiting for you

In the frigid storms of winter
In the sea which is overcome by powerful waves
I feel time freeze for an everlasting moment
Whenever I see your face

And in that moment I realize that I have loved
Like I never loved before
The coldness we once encountered doesn’t seem so cold anymore
The waves have finally stopped and I can finally walk through
Walk through my sea of emotions
So that I can get close to you

They say time waits for no man….
Yet I slightly disagree
For every time I see your face
I feel as if this is our first meet
Such a beautiful spirit
Such a extraordinary soul
Time will wait for us to get it right

And our love shall never grow old

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Lost Heart

The heart goes through many journeys
Just like feathers in the wind
Twirling round and round endlessly
Never truly finding a true end

To love one day so passionately
And the next day that love grows cold
Yet still beating with such vigor
Never truly neglecting the old

Heart still filled with love
But that love is tainted within
Trying to differentiate through all that has gone on
But the brain might someday win

Thinking about the wrongs
Yet killing each beat of love with each thought
The heart goes through many journeys
And I believe this time it has gotten lost



Friday, February 7, 2014

Hope in Perfection

No one is perfect…. Yet we all strive to be…
But what is perfection?
It seems as if no one can truly explain it…
But they say the following:
“If I could do this then I would be perfect…”
“If I lost this bit of weight, I would be perfect…”
“If I changed this about myself…then….. I will be perfect”

Perfect - having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.

I guess it all comes down to what you think…. Do you think you are good enough? Are you what you desire to be? Are you happy with yourself?...

Many times the dissatisfaction we feel in areas of our life is due to others. Sometimes people tell us we aren't good enough, and we believe them. We believe them without even questioning what “Good Enough” actually is. I remember an old teacher use to say that “Everyone is perfect in their own way”. At the time I heard this, I believed her. I was probably like 5 or 6 years old, and in Kindergarten, and I believed her….
It wasn't until years later that I started doubting her words. I would have so many critique my life. I would hear so many negative words. I would see so much on tv and in magazines that basically told me “you are not perfect”……..And soon the hope I had inside me slowly died……….
Hope………that little light that radiates from the tiny candle within yourself goes dark……..But can it be restored? The truth is, that light inside of you never dies, it may go dim, but it never dies……When I learned this, then I was able to realize who I really was………Who I really am………..

When people talk negatively about you
Do not let their words harm you

When people do not believe in you
Never stop believing in yourself

When no one wants to accompany you on your path
Walk it alone, for sometimes greatness is found on paths no one else wanted to take

You are perfect in your own way………Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I wish I would have listened to my teacher back then………because then, I never would have doubted it.  Perfection isn't unattainable. It is practically being the best you that “you can possibly be”… And sure you can get better……..Everyone can……But in order to keep getting better, you have to keep hope alive. Always believe in yourself. Don’t let others get you down. Let your inner light shine so brightly that it blinds those standing thousands of miles away. Be yourself for
You are beautiful,
You are courageous,
You are important,
You are talented,
You are powerful,
You are giving,
You are perfect,
And most importantly
You are Someone Special……..



-Monica Renata 



Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Sticky Situations

Bubble gum between my fingers
Stuck together like glue
I'm in a sticky situation
I don't know if I can break through

Dripping lot hot candle wax
From my eyes my feelings flow
Happiness is seconds away
But which way do I go

I'm in a sticky situation
I just don't know if I can break through
I have to decide where I want to be
But which way do I go? 

North to face my deepest fears
East to what I have always known
West to where my hearts resides
South to where others think I should go....

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions
Are sometimes so hard to make
I cry not because I'm sad
But because I'm happy with the decision I'm about to make


"Never be afraid to follow your true path in life..... Sometimes we have to stop being afraid of the possibility of failure and go where we always dreamed we would be.... " - Monica Renata 


Winter Storm

I remember when the snow fell light
And it landed on the ground
This rarely happened in my neighborhood
So I was happy and I smiled

I remember when that snow turned to hail
And then feel upon my face
It wasn’t as soft as the snow was
But I was still happy it came

I remember when that hail turned to hail stones
And I finally had to run for cover
I watched in amazement while in my house
And I went watch from the window while wrapped in my covers

Soon the snow came harder
And the stones continued to fall
I watched myself get blocked in
And I no longer could do anything at all

I remember when he said he loved me
I was happy and I smiled
And I remember when he left
But he came back
And I was happy, so I smiled

But now it is just a storm
And I have tried to run but cannot hide
I can be honest with him and tell him how I feel
But it seems like he doesn’t get it inside

Why would someone want something
That they decided to throw away
Why would someone hold on to something
In hopes of having it one day

Why say you love someone
When you look in their face and constantly lie
And why shed a single tear
When I tell you I am tired of trying.

I remembered when it snowed that day.
I remember how I felt.
I was in love and I was blinded by some petty things
I was blinded by how I felt

When it began to hail I still watched in amazement
Because I wanted to believe it couldn’t be that bad
And when the hail stones started to drop
I ran for cover but I still was there

I eventually became trapped, and I was alone
And I was hiding from the truth
And we all know the truth can open scary doors
It opened the door to the real you

As time went on my heart grew cold
And I could say this is because of you
But now I treat you,
How you always treated me
And now you tell me you feel used
But that is something I can't see...

And now you show emotion
But my heart is cold and your tears don’t faze me
For now I am frozen
And you are a distant memory

I run into you time from time
And you are but a stranger to me
You give me a hug you buy a gift
But it doesn't mean anything to me at all

You call me and I pick up
And you just hear me breathe on the phone
You want me to show an ounce of feeling
But I packed those up long ago

But the moral of the story is
Don’t take advantage of a real love
Cause if someone really loves you
So loves with all their heart and soul

And yeah they say the first wound
Is always the one that cuts deep
But never throw away something
That you always thought you would keep

Because people get feed up at times
And yes, they do move on
But when someone loses all emotion for you
You basically do not exist in their world

So treat your partner right
And hold on to what you got
Cause a person can only take so much
Until they decide to shut you completely out