Forever Never Lasts

Fleeting joys of ecstasy
Time is moving too fast
We always think we have forever
But forever never lasts

Happiness is soon replaced
With broken little smiles
Then tears trickle down your cheeks
And you can't make a sound

Overwhelmed by this feeling
Yet still afraid to let go
You think that you will forget
And that feeling scares  you so

Appreciate what you have
Because today never stays the same
People may come and go
Even when your life still remains

In the end

In the end

It doesn’t matter

It doesn’t matter what you may think

Because I know who I am today

And who I want to be

No harsh words or discouraging faces

Will ever stop me

I will keep my head up high

And always have faith

Faith in myself and those who actually care

Like my family and a few friends

So talk all you want

Try to ruin my name

Because in the end you will truly see

While you were spreading rumors about me

I was succeeding my goals in life and being ME

I can't

I can't fault you for being yourself
I can only say I understand
I can't make you understand me
If you don't try to take a chance
I can't ask you to change your ways
Because you will only change if you want to
I can't expect  you to take the time to do what you don't want to do

Finger Pointers

Point your finger once again
Point out the things that others lack
Judge so harshly
Let them see
That they are not what you want them to be

Judgment has been cast upon others again
Yet we do not worry until we are the ones at stake
Always pointing a finger
Playing the blame game
But what is the purpose
All these games are the same

He said this
She said that
He did this
She did that

All and all
It is all the same
Always pointing the finger
Always handing out blame

He can't do that
She can't do this
He believes in this
She believes in that

I thought differences is what made us unique
We teach children to be themselves
But we are afraid of the product we reap

He married her
She married him
It is all good, but then
He marries him
And she marries her
And now the world seems to be in a downfall

But who are we to judge anyone
At the end of the day, let people do what they love
And stop judging others because they do something you believe is so wrong
There are too many bad things happening in this world today
To try to take away someone's happiness piece by piece
Stop blaming others for what goes wrong
Stop thinking that your right is ALWAYS right
And there right is wrong
Do what makes you happy
And they should too
Cause you would feel really bad
If those fingers were pointing at you

Point your finger once again
Point out the things that others lack
Judge so harshly
Let them see
That they are not what you want them to be
Then open your eyes and look into that mirror so true
Cause usually nothing is wrong with the object being judged
Something is wrong with you

Have you ever had a Shadow?

Have you ever had a shadow

Who would try to imitate what you do

When you speak they speak as well

And they think their words are of truth?

Have you ever had a shadow

That tries to make you feel worst about yourself each day

Who constantly looks you in your face

And makes you realize you two aren't the same?

Have you ever had a shadow

Who is so mean yet you’re a so nice

The look on their face tells it all

They want you out of sight

Have you ever had a shadow

And you hated it so true

But the only thing stopping you from truly hating them

Is because they are a part of you

Our shadow is a reflection of ourselves

Yet we judge it so unkindly

Why are we so hard on ourselves?

Why do we give up before we try?

Have you ever had a shadow

Who wanted to reach the stars just like you

You think you can't do it

But to your shadow, that is untrue

What is the point

What is the point of even trying?
I find myself questioning this each day
Yet, I decide to be the bigger person
And be cordial at the end of the day
But what is this all doing for me?
Because I am not gaining at all
Yet I am constantly dragging myself deeper into a hole
That I want no part of

What is the point of even speaking?
If you don't listen to a word I say
If you say my thoughts are meaningless
Then yell at me when I have nothing to say
I am slowly starting to realize
That you don't care at all
And maybe this is just something
That I should have no part in at all...

What is the point
There is no purpose.
What is the point.......

Weekly Challenge 9: Take time to Notice

Today...
Take the time to notice the kind people you encounter.
Simple as that!!!!

The journey of the Heart

The heart has a way of finding itself
No matter the trials it goes through
At one point it can be bursting with life
And at another point it is broken in two

The journey of a heart is a sad one indeed
For it always has the possibility to get hurt
But usually the journey of a heart goes very far
Til it meets another heart and those two become one

And then that journey seems like it was worth it
It seems like those tears meant something indeed
For the rough road the heart took sometimes countless times
It ended in the greatest place it could be

To be loved is such a wonderful thing
That so many take for granted these days
Nothing ever comes easy in life
And love is one of those things

And sometimes when you waited for something
For as long as you can think
When you finally get what you are looking for
You will appreciate it above all things

Love vs Hate

From love comes all life they say
But I shall disagree
For many times I have seen love uproot a tree
And the hate for those who love so much
Grows stronger indeed
And that hate soon encourages others to finally plant a seed
And from this seed sprouts a life
Which is a blessing we all see
And the battle of love and hate continues on and battles for the fate of the seed

Horrific Travels

Hold my hand
My dear friend
Come with me
And let's pretend
Pretend we are worlds apart
Yet still intertwined in each others hearts

Feel my heart
Beat after beat
Your smile
Is one of my greatest treats
Now continue to hold my hand some more
And drift off in this other land we both adore

Worlds of marvel
Streets of gold
A place in which we will never grow old
This new world is small
But it is all we need
A world just built for you and me
Feast of wonder
The city of sin
You will be the greatest of all your friends
You will have to want no more
Cause everything is given, and you don't have to work for it

Everything you ever dreamed
I have for you
This is real, or so it seems

So now you can let go of my hand
And experience all the wonders of hell
You got everything you ever dreamed
Each deadly sin you committed indeed
No longer do you need my guide
Because you are here
It's your turn to cry

Are you scared now?
I bet you are
You are wondering around dazed
Looking at the stars
And who am I?
You could care the least
But why is it my company you wish to keep?

Greed & Gluttony
You want more and more
You over indulge in the things you adore

Anger & Envy
To say the least
You always have a problem when others accomplish great feats

Lust
You always hunger for the flesh
Don't care about what is on the inside
It is only the physical that impress

Pride
To afraid to admit your faults

Sloth
And out of all these other things
You think you will success will just come
You are lazy but expect the most

The way you got here
Is by all your doings
I didn't have to lead you
Because it was the things you were pursuing
Which made you follow this awful path
But I'm not complaining because you are mine at last

Another man to add to my den
No concern about others
And submerged in sin

Tomorrow

Beating heart
The pounding drum
Keeps me going
In the blazing sun

Overturn the shades of day
Keep on going
Trying to run away

Ice cold sweat
Trickling down
Yet I cannot quite hear the sounds
Running, Running, Running away
Trying to get to Tomorrow
So today can be Yesterday

Oh what promise Tomorrow holds
I must get there quickly before I turn old
Always running away from Today
Believing that what is ahead
Is so great

Yet  never taking the time to appreciate this day
Cause I am running, running, running away

Weekly Challenge 8: Know Your Worth

How many people allow others to treat them any type of way at times??

I know that sometimes I allow this and it is very wrong. This weekly challenge will be short and brief, but basically I want you to know your worth!!

No one deserves to be mistreated by others.

No one deserves to be disrespected. 

No one deserves to be taken advantage of. 

No one deserves to be treated as though they are less than someone else. 

If someone treats you in such away just extract them from  your life. 

Life is too short to drench yourself in a pool of negativity. 

And at times we say that the people who do these things are our "friends" and they didn't mean it....but friends wouldn't treat you bad. Know your worth and stop selling yourself short!!!!

Have a nice day!!!

A New Beginning

Peaking over the mountain top
Gazing on the sea
Bringing warmth to all you touch
Making ice caps no longer freeze

Playing on the petals of flowers
Lighting up so many homes
Reminds me of a beacon of light
I seen so long ago

Slowly taking away the darkness
Imitating the heavens as I speak
A new day is beginning
As the sun rises to its peak

River of Tears

The weight of the world is heavy
So heavy that it crushes the soul
And soon the clouds that play in the sky
Begin to cry once more

Some benefit from this happening
While others face defeat
And the the river begins to be filled with tears
Tears that it is afraid to release

As the water continues to plummet down
The river can take no more
It soon releases those tears
It can't hold them in anymore

Poor river flowing with constant tears
Tears it wishes were no more
But the weight of the world is heavy indeed
So heavy it crushes the soul

Tick Tock

Tick Tock goes the clock

Tick and then the world is still

And I am lost in my thoughts

Trying to swallow this pill

As time has given me time to catch up

I quickly move away

I can't fathom why I have been blessed with this opportunity

And I wonder when it will go away

The world it seems so frozen

Everyone looks like porcelain dolls

Yet I slowly torment myself

With thoughts of being alone

So many smiles I will not see

So many years will be missed

I won't even get the opportunity 

To feel my very first kiss

Tock goes the clock

And then the tick tocks resume

I can't imagine how life would be

If time would stand still for you

Weekly Challenge 7: Find out what Inspires you

This week, I would like everyone to think about what inspires them in life.
I know that I have been inspired by my family and even friends at times. But most importantly, I love reading quotes!!! Sometimes these quotes can help me get through the toughest times. I also remember a specific song that helped me make it through a hard time in my life. I will post it for you. Have a great week!!! :)

“Just know, when you truly want success, you’ll never give up on it. No matter how bad the situation may get.” - Unknown

“Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.” – Les Brown

“One of the most important keys to Success is having the discipline to do what you know you should do, even when you dont feel like doing it.” - Unknown

“Good things come to those who wait… greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen.” - Unknown

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, or worn. It is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace & gratitude.” - Denis Waitley

“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.” – Bill Cosby

Standards

I tell myself you don't qualify

Because you don't have everything on my list

I say that you are kind

But you don't have that or this

I tell you that you're a great person

That is something we can't deny

I say that I have standards

And that is why you can't be my man

Standards

 we all have them

But some are a little too high

We walk pass the nicest people

And say they don't qualify

We have in our head this imaginary list

And point out what others lack

Yet if someone did the same to us

We would want to break their neck

Nice body 

CHECK

Nice personality 

CHECK

And a nice bright smile.....

Those are things I love the most

They are things that make me smile

Respectful 

CHECK

Goal oriented

CHECK

Compatible with me

I notice that we get along

And I have to speak with you before I go to sleep

As the list goes on 

I notice that the check marks disappear

You are missing what I say I want

Yet I still hold you in my heart dear

So should I follow my standards

And get someone who meets my list so true

Or should I be happy

With someone like you

Standards 

Standards 

Standards

You don't qualify

But how could you ever cross the fence

If my standards are too high

If I had a million wishes

If I had a million wishes
And all of them would come true
I would take all of my wishes
And wish for things for you

If I had a million wishes
And I could hold your hand
I would wish you could feel my love
And know that it is really there

Because I have a Sister

Because I have a sister
I shall always have a friend
And I didn't realize this
And I wish I would have known then

That no matter what, I have my sister
Through the constant smiles and frowns
She is my motivation
When life has me feeling down

Because I have a sister
I can't possibly be alone
Because even though we live in different places
I know her house is also my home

In her heart I will always be
In my heart she will be too
I love my sister
And I know she loves me too

No matter what ever happens
She will be there through thick and thin
And because I have a sister
I shall always have a friend

The truth about my Love Poem

Blue as the sky 

On this lovely day

I think about you

As I lay...

And what type of things come to my mind

A whirlwind of emotion is tumbling down

And then I finally catch my breath

And I tell myself "You have to relax"

I paint a portrait only I can see

And it showcases so many memories

The happiness I felt

The disappoints too

Oh how all this revolves around you

Blue as the sky 

On this lovely day

I think about you 

As I lay

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The Love Poem........... To be completely honest, I think that I am fairly decent at writing them. However, truth be told, I am horrible at love. I am the type of person who consumes her world with so many other things that I neglect that aspect of my life. I am the type of person who is somewhat of a perfectionist. I always have to be the best at whatever I do. And I applied that to my academic career and now I apply that to my current job......but this thing called love.... I put in no effort.............. 

Sorry for the random thought after writing..lol

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The Kindest Heart

The kindest heart you have ever encountered
Has been beating way too fast
It is scared of all the hurt around
And wonders when this pain will pass

The kindest heart you have ever encountered
Has always been there for you
Yet you constantly neglect its feelings
Because they have nothing to do with you

The kindest heart you have ever encountered
Has tears swelling in their eyes
But they will try to remain strong
Because they don't want you to see them cry

It is always the ones that care the most
That seem to always get hurt
It is the ones who are always there for you
That you end up treating like dirt
But why should these people constantly feel alone
When the ones who have the kindest hearts
Try to help everyone they know

The kindest heart you have ever encountered
May be your only true friend
But soon they will begin to wonder when their sadness will end
And the kindest heart will sometimes think and they will soon believe....
"That sometimes no matter how good you are to people... they will never be good to you"

Sweet Love

Sweeter than a honeydew
Oh how I dream of you
Gently caress me and hold me tight
Never let go with all your might

Kiss me as I pull away
Make  me realize I want to stay
Oh how I am in love with you
I can picture it all
Just me and you...

You hand me the world on a silver plate
You offer more
But I won't take
You care about me
More than I care about myself
You give me so much love
Until you have none left

Forever you will be by my side
The love you have for me I can't deny
Sweeter than a honeydew
Oh how my dreams have really come true

The Windy Night

As the wind blows so peacefully
And the sun begins to set
I sit down and reminisce about my day
And enjoy what I have left

As the sunlight slowly goes away
I take a deep breath in
Enjoying the smell of the flowers
That are carried by the wind

I hear brief sounds of nature
I hear crickets in the grass
And I close my eyes and remember
Remember the events of my past

As the wind gently plays with my cheeks
I feel so at home
And soon I notice
That the sun is no more

Crickets in the grass
The smell of roses in the wind
A day gone by so swiftly
A day I can't get back
But who am I to worry
For I enjoyed this day
As I sat down and remembered
As the wind blew past my face

Fear

Creeping through the darkest night
Close to me
Yet far in sight
Feeding on my beating heart
Making my world... fall apart
Through the night as I sleep
My company you want to keep
But I am just so very afraid
Yet I can't close my eyes again

Wanting to leave
And afraid to stay
I close my eyes yet once again
Hoping I could just leave this dream
Fearing this dream could be reality indeed

Creeping through the darkest night
Close to me
yet far in sight
Feeding on my beating heart
Making my world fall apart
I want to leave
And I'm afraid to stay
Yet this fear inside won't go away
Save me from this horrible thing
This nightmare that others would call a dream

Weekly Challenge 6: Share a childhood memory

When I was a little girl, I remember one of my favorite things to do was watch cartoons. My mother would always buy these VHS tapes which had 6 hours of cartoons on them. I would sit in front of the tv all day watching classics such as Felix the Cat, Woody the Woodpecker, Popeye, and many others. I also remember watching Little Lulu and Little Audrey. They were my favorites!!!! This week I will leave you with a piece of my childhood I loved so much. I hope you enjoy. 

“QUIT! GIVE UP! YOU’RE BEATEN!”

I would like to state that I did not write this piece. However, I remember reading it as a child. I always read the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books, and this was a piece that stood out to me. I even know most of the words by heart! Whenever I am feeling down, I always read this, and it brightens my spirit and encourages me to get back up and fight. I hope you enjoy this!!! 

- Monica Renata 

Quit! Give up! You're Beaten!
They shout at me and plead. 
“There’s just too much against you now.  This time you can’t succeed!”
And as I start to hang my head In front of failure’s face. 
My downward fall is broken by The memory of a race.
And hope refills my weakened will As I recall that scene:
For just the thought of that short race Rejuvenates my being.
A children’s race-young  boys, young men-how I remember well.
Excitement, sure! But also fear; It wasn’t hard to tell.
They all lined up so full of hope Each thought to win that race.
Or tie for first, or if not that, At least take second place.
And fathers watched from off the side Each cheering for his son.
And each boy hoped to show his dad That he would be the one.
The whistle blew and off they went! Young hearts and hopes afire.
To win and be the hero there Was each young boy’s desire.
And one boy in particular Whose dad was in the crowd,
Was running near the lead and thought: “My dad will be so proud!”
But as they speeded down the field Across a shallow dip,
The little boy who thought to win Lost his step and slipped.
Trying hard to catch himself His hands flew out to brace,
And mid the laughter of the crowd He fell flat on his face.
So down he fell and with him hope –He couldn’t win it now–
Embarrassed, sad, he only wished To disappear somehow.
But as he fell his dad stood up And showed his anxious face,
Which to the boy so clearly said: “Get up and win the race.”
He quickly rose, no damage done, –Behind a bit, that’s all–
And ran with all his mind and might To make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself –To catch up and to win–
His mind went faster than his legs: He slipped and fell again!
He wished then he had quit before With only one disgrace.
“I’m hopeless as a runner now; I shouldn’t try to race.”
But in the laughing crowd he searched And found his father’s face:
That steady look which said again: “Get up and win the race!”
So up he jumped to try again –Ten yards behind the last–
“If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought “I’ve got to move real fast.”
Exerting everything he had He regained eight or ten,
But trying so hard to catch the lead He slipped and fell again!
Defeat! He lied there silently –A tear dropped from his eye–
“There’s no sense running any more; Three strikes: I’m out! Why try?”
The will to rise had disappeared; All hope had fled away;
So far behind, so error prone; A loser all the way.
“I’ve lost, so what’s the use,” he thought. “I’ll live with my
disgrace.”
But then he thought about his dad Who soon he’d have to face.
“Get up,” an echo sounded low. “Get up and take your place;
You were not meant for failure here. Get up and win the race.”
“With borrowed will get up,” it said, “You haven’t lost at all.
For winning is no more than this: To rise each time you fall.”
So up he rose to run once more, And with a new commit
He resolved that win or lose At least he wouldn’t quit.
So far behind the others now, –The most he’d ever been–
Still he gave it all he had And ran as though to win.
Three times he’d fallen, stumbling; Three times he rose again;
Too far behind to hope to win He still ran to the end.
They cheered the winning runner As he crossed the line first place;
Head high, and proud, and happy; No falling, no disgrace.
But when the fallen youngster Crossed the line last place,
The crowd gave him the greater cheer For finishing the race.
And even though he came in last With head bowed low, unproud,
You would have thought he’d  won the race, to listen to the crowd.
And to his dad he sadly said, “I didn’t do too well.”
“To me, you won,” his father said. “You rose each time you fell.”
Now when things seem dark and hard And difficult to face,
The memory of that little boy Helps me in my race.
For all of life is like that race, With ups and downs and all.
And all you have to do to win, Is rise each time you fall.
“Quit! Give up! You’re beaten!” They still shout in my face.
But another voice with me says: “GET UP AND WIN THE  RACE!”



“A  righteous man falls seven times and rises again.”   Proverbs 24:16
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,
let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles,
let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.
Hebrews 12:1,2

To You

It has been months since I have seen your face

And I have told myself I would let go

But every time my mind wanders

You become the topic of all things I wish to know

I told myself I would forget you

And let you live your life

But it seems that I let go prematurely

And I didn't even put up a fight

I think about all the times I was afraid

To tell you how I felt

I turned away when emotions came near

I refused to tell you how I felt

And now I find my mind wandering

And I pretend that I don't know why

But I believe it is because of the feelings

I so desperately kept inside

It has been months since I have seen your face

And I have told myself I would let go

But every time my mind wanders

You become the topic of all things I wish to know

I hope you are very happy

I hope you are living a great life

I love you so much!!!

I just want you to be happy!

Even if I am not by your side

From Head to Toe

When I look at you from head to toe

My eyes start high and then go low

I pause to see if you smile back

And then I may look for things you lack

Do you treat others with respect?

Are you a nice guy?

Would you comfort someone if you saw them cry?

Do you have plans in life?

Do you know what you want?

Do you have a certain "good" quality of heart?

When I look at you from head to toe

My eyes start high and then go low

I slowly take those steps forward

bracing myself for the few words shared

Hello

How are you

Can I get your name

I look at you and you are quite tamed

No slang in your talk

Just confidence in your walk

Because you know you are a great man

You speak of yourself and your goals in life

And not brag about what you have

And when I take my final look

I know that you are my kind of man

So to all guys out there

Who think that you are classified by your "things"

Just remember there are some women out there

Who appreciate more than just material things you have

Be a GREAT version of yourself

Stop trying to be who you can't

I will respect you if you come at me real

Then if you would come at me with fallacies and material "things"

I'm Glad It wasn't me

As I was walking to my car today
I heard a woman scream
I looked at her house and walked away
And then I finally thought to myself
I'm glad that wasn't me

As I began my morning drive to work
I heard a loud crash behind me
I looked in my rearview as I continued pass
And then a car raced beside me
I continued to move along until I could no longer see
And then I finally thought to myself
I'm glad that wasn't me

As I sat at my desk
I overhead a conversation about a coworker I know
She is in the division of the company which will shut down
And today she found out she has to go
I see her as I leave that day and I don't say a peep

And then I finally thought to myself
I'm glad that wasn't me

On the drive home I feel so accomplished
I have done so much work today
When I get home I am surrounded by luxuries
That I worked so hard to get
I turn on the local news
And then I hear people in the background cry
It seems a woman was beaten badly
And then hours later she died
No one heard her cry that day
And her husband didn't care about her plea
And then they showed the house
And it was the house across the street

The next story was about an accident
That ended up closing 3 lanes
There were four people involved
And all had passed away
The cause of the accident was a driver
A driver who was filled with rage
He threw a metal object at the driver and then quickly drove away
The object hit the driver
And caused her to lose control
And her and her 3 children hit the barricade on the side of the road
They say they are looking for the driver
Who quickly drove away
They say to call a number
But I flip the channel instead

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The world is filled with misery
So why should I even care
Why should I look out for others
When I know the others don't care
This is the mindset so many have
So not in touch with how humans feel
We have turned into a selfish society
And say "If you don't care, then I don't care"

Why don't we help each other out?
Why are we so insensitive to others?
Compassion for others is somewhat lost...
Why don't we care about others??

Help your fellow man out
Because together we can all rise high
Peace starts within yourself
And your willingness to try

The world can be an ugly place
Full of selfish people indeed
But I realize that improving the world
Starts with M-E
I vow to help those who are in need
And always offer kind words
Cause everyone is fighting a battle
And everyone wants to be heard

Today I saw a homeless man
as I walked down the street
I looked at him and shook my head

And then I finally thought to myself
I'm glad that wasn't me
But instead of turning my head and walking the other way
I asked him about his story
And listened to what he had to say
He told me his times of happiness and told me his hardships in life
Then I gave him the cash in my pockets and told him I hope everything turns out right
As I walked away I thought to myself
"He is human just like me"


So be careful how you treat people
Be careful about what you say
Cause everyone goes through situations
And you never know if you will be there one day

Sometimes  a string of bad luck
Can really bring you down
So never turn your nose up at someone
Just help them out and smile

Weekly Challenge 5: List 25 Truths About Yourself

Hello all,

One week I challenged everyone to get to know themselves. However, this week I want you to write down 25 truths about yourself. This is basically telling 25 things about yourself that others may not know. I will start with mines:

1. At times I find myself to be overcritical. 
2. I think that I have some of the best friends in the world. 
3. I rarely give people the opportunity to get to know me..........like really
4. Many nights I stay up till about 2 in the morning to just write poems and stuff. I have hundreds of pages of stuff I have written.
5. I had a secret that I should have been proud of, yet it was the one thing that I felt made me feel ashamed. 
6. I really don't like talking about myself so like 25 things to come up with is really really hard......
7. I always like to be surrounded by people.........I am just a people person, plus I hate to be alone.
8. I absolutely despise when people use profanity....It is just so classless and pointless....some people just use certain words TOO much. 
9. I love love love Ludacris and all of his music. Ask me about something and I probably know the lyrics..lol
10. I hate going out on Friday nights. So when my sister would go out with her friends I would just sit in my room finding instrumentals on youtube and sing in the mirror..........lame I know
11. I love to shop at New York & Company and when I found out that my rewards card was registered under my twins email address I wanted to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
12. Whenever someone sends me a text and I reply with the statement "ok.............." or "I guess......." I am really disappointed, so don't text me back with "what's wrong? " because I am so upset that I will just say "nothing"
13. I have a hard time trying to say what I really want to say at times..........
14. I love love songs.........I just don't know why
15. I hate confrontations.......
16. I do not like loud people. 
17. If I say I am playing the game I do not want any interruptions. Don't call me and ask me what I am doing and get made when I rarely speak back.
18. If I get quite and shake my head, YOU ALREADY KNOW...LOL. 
19. I sometimes wish I had more girlfriends.
20.One of the greatest friends I ever met was actually my myspace buddy who I met in real life. 
21. I love my job. 
22. I love the outdoors very very much. 
23.2008.....well the second half of it, was the best time in my life thus far. I found out so much about myself and what I like and dislike. But most importantly, I realized that sometimes making myself happy is most important!
24. When I was little my twin pulled the fire alarm in Winn-Dixie and everyone ran out of the store.....My mom fussed and whipped me because she said only I would do something crazy like that.sad huh? 
25. I really like to go to the park and feed the ducks. I know its lame, and I know that so many people think that only old people do it.......but I absolutely love doing it. I like seeing the little ducks fight over one piece of bread...yep yep.

A Choice

There is a choice you have to make
There is a lesson to be learned
But first you must embrace yourself
And come into your own

You have to decide what path to take
You have to decide when
But think about this very carefully
And remember there is no turning back again

We all are going somewhere
We all have things to do
But we have to realize what is important
And make our dreams come true

Follow your path in life
And make other people see
See the person that you have made of yourself
Be the person you want to be

Don't let others deter you from your path
Be unique and make it your own
Followers don't go far in life
So don't be one all along

There is a choice I have to make
There is a lesson to be learned
So I decide to face my fears
And walk into the unknown

I have to decide what path to take
I have to decide when
North I will go to face my fears
And I will start today

I am going somewhere
I have things to do
First I will start by improving myself
And then I will go back to being true

True to my passion
True to my dreams
Live once again for me!
Reach my level of success
That I want oh so badly

Sacrifice things in life
And strive to be the best once more
I am not only walking this time
This time.. I will soar

There is a choice I have to make
There is a lesson I have to learn
And I will finally take these steps myself
And live for me once more

Drifting Away

As the night sky finally fades to day
I find myself running out of words to say
Lost in my thoughts yet still captured in my dreams
I hold on to a reality but can't fathom what that means

Lost in my thoughts and drifting away
As if I am on a boat and sailing the sea
So much to think about
So much consumes me
Yet still I can't figure out the words to say

I should have said how I felt
Or is it too late
I find myself questioning this over and over again
It is really what I want?
But is it really what I need?
Should my happiness come before others when dealing with this thing?

As the night sky finally fades to day
I find myself running out of words to say
Lost in my thoughts yet still captured in my dreams
Thinking of the reality between you and me

Sailing far away in the middle of the sea
So much to think about
So much consumes me
I either have to work it out
Or let things be
But I still wonder about you and me

Weekly Challenge 4: Determine how you want situations to affect you

Hello,

This week I would like everyone to think about how they allow situations to affect their lives. How do you let minor or even major conflicts change you. This week I won't say much at all. We all have problems, but it depends on how we handle these situations. I will leave you with a story that I find very helpful to me as well.

A young woman went to her grandmother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed that as one problem was solved, a new one arose. 

Her grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. 

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She then pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. 

Turning to her granddaughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?" 

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. 

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. 

The granddaughter then asked, "What does it mean, Grandmother?" 

Her grandmother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity -- boiling water -- but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. 

"Which are you?" she asked her granddaughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" 

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity? Do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? 

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? 

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor of your life. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level? 

How do you handle adversity? Are you changed by your surroundings or do you bring life, flavor, to them? 

ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?

Without Words

No words
Just actions
That is all that I need
The way you interact with me
Tells me so many things

The look in your eyes
That glimmer of hope
I see it so often
You want so much more

The way that you embrace me
You show me that you care
And if I were ever taken away
It would seem like you are losing your air

The way your mouth opens
When you are about to smile
The way that you giggle
The way you put your hands up and smile
The way you stand there and look
That stance that you have
I know how you are feeling
You didn't even have to tell

I love the way we interact
The way we interact without words
A form of language that is foreign to others
And also misunderstood

Speak

A few words come forth

And then I choke

I can't speak anymore

I can't speak what I wrote

But I have to say much more

I am too afraid

I feel so much pressure

I am usually great with my words

I am usually so clever

I am lost in my thoughts 

floating like a windswept feather

This time I'm stuck

I am lost in my speech

The reality of what is happening

Is finally getting to me

My words may hurt you

Yet my words may make you smile

But the uncertainty of this

Makes me want to cry

A few words come forth 

And then I choke again

I want to tell you how I feel

I really want to let you in

But fear is consuming my soul

This fear of the unknown

Will my words mean anything to you? 

That.... I do not know

The world

The world is such a beautiful place
Yet we can't really see
What the world has in store for us
What we really want to be

Constantly pushed down by others
Refusing to get up after the fall
We continue to beat ourselves up constantly
We can't see that there is a tomorrow

Overwhelmed by constant guilt
Guilt of attempts that were not taken
Yet this cycle repeats itself
And who are we constantly blaming?

We blame the world for everything
We blame it for what is bad
But the world is made up of many things
And  you hold your world in your hands

Don't blame the world for your problems
Don't blame the world for your falls
At the end of the day you control what happens
Just rise up when you fall

The world is a beautiful place
The world is where it all happens
And you make up your own little world
so don't blame the world for your actions

Reality TV

I can see the camera

It is right there in my face

Paying attention to my every movement

Always recording what I say

I'm here for your entertainment

For you to love or for you to hate

I am a walking spectical

And you tune in every week

some say I am self absorbed 

Others say I am weak

But I just like to share my world

I want everyone to see

See how I live each day and night

See how my relationships unfold

See my attitude towards humanity

See how I am a staple in your household

You know my name

You know my face

My story and my family

And I make you believe  my reality means more

than other minor things

What's going on in the world around you? 

What's Korea's leader name? 

When was the last time a soldier died? 

When was the last time one was praised? 

What's going on in your community? 

What is your mayor's name? 

It's amazing how you don't know these things

Yet you know everything about me!

What's my date of birth? 

Who was the last person I tried to date? 

Why am I jealous of my cousin? 

Why did I slap her in her face?

You are addicted t my lifestyle

But yet you can't see...

I am a reality...but not your reality

I AM Reality TV