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Thursday, March 27, 2014

Promises: Are they really made to be broken?

Promises…..How many of us have heard the statement that “Promises are made to be broken.”

I promise I won’t lie to you
I promise I won’t tell your secrets
I promise I would never hurt you
I promise

So many promises given, yet how many are actually fulfilled? I once believed that all promises would be kept. In my naïve mind, I actually believed that others knew the true value of keeping a promise. I thought that if I could do it, so could they. I let others promise me things and when they messed up I said to myself, “Oh this promise will become fulfilled in time”………and you know what…. They never did.

I was lied to
My secrets were told
I was hurt…

Promises broken and yet they cannot be repaired. Hurt felt deep down in your soul and a silent cry is released but only you can stand amidst your own agony. I trusted too many. I believed that too many would come through. They let me down. And by them letting me down, I felt like I let myself down for believing them.
Promises mean nothing…. Or so I thought…….

One day I made a promise to myself. I promised myself that I wouldn’t let others get me down. I promised myself that despite the hurt that others have placed on me, I will not let that emit to my friends and family. I promised that no matter how hard my life is I will never try to make anyone feel worthless. I keep my promises. I hold on to my words. If I say that I am going to do something, I will do it. It may be in two hours, a day, or even a year but when I make a promise I will fulfill it in the end.

The true value of a promise cannot be seen unless you keep promises with yourself. If you cannot even keep a promise that you make with yourself that entails that they are entirely worthless to you. Promises involve trust…And if you can’t trust yourself. Who else do you actually have?  

A promise is a statement telling someone that you will definitely do something or that something will definitely happen in the future.

I promise myself many things.
I promise to be better each day.
I promise to live a positive life.
I promise to try to make my mark on this world.

Promises…They are very special and involve a lot of trust. From what actually goes on around us, we may indeed think that promises are made to be broken. In life, we encounter a disappointments that results from promises that were not kept. We get hurt, and then we become bitter. We lose trust in mankind. We think that all people are bad…and the value of a promise becomes utterly worthless…. But in reality, a promise being broken shows that the other person lacks the ability to truly trust themselves. To make a promise, and then turn against it…..when one does this they are turning on themselves as well. Don’t get angry.

Hope that the person find themselves.
Hope that they truly begin to trust themselves.
Be happy that you aren’t them……

Just know the true value of promises, and don’t let others ignorance get you do. Promises aren’t made to be broken. For if you break a promise, you break the trust you have with yourself.

-Monica Renata


Hero's Curse

Hero’s Curse
By: Monica Renata

Volcanoes erupt.
The sky is filled with gray.
Who will come and save us
On this so unfortunate day?

Hearts are stricken with fear.
Eyes are filled with fright.
We need someone to save us.
We need someone to use all their might.

And amidst the gloomy stratosphere
Someone rises against the foe.
It appears to be a hero
Who has been frequently seen before.

Grateful are the people.
Two cheers for the battle that goes on.
We must applaud our hero.
For he is very strong.

His battle wounds will go ignored.
The fight will still go on.
And in the end he defeats the villain.
But inside he is torn.

For all the times he helped others
He never saw this deed repeat
For he helped others all the time
But wondered who would help in his time of need

And as the skies restore to blue.
His heart sinks instead of soar.
For he shall go to his hideout.
And wait til the next time he is needed once more.

The curse of being a hero.
People are always cheering so happily.
Yet no one can truly calm the sadness.
Which inside the hero they can’t see.

Who will save the hero?
The world may never know.
Yet when others are in need.
You will see him again once more.

A beautiful ending.
Yet such a tragic end.
The hero saves the world again
But the world won’t be his true friend



Tuesday, March 25, 2014

The Path to Victory

The Path to Victory
By: Monica Renata

Tomorrow is another day
A day to put my feet back on the grass
I can’t let the past losses disappoint me
I have to keep that in the past

Tomorrow is another day
In which I will continue to train
I have to keep getting better
Even if it means practicing in the storming rain

Tomorrow is another day
A day in which victory is close
For each day I give my all
I am placing fear in my foes

Work hard each day
Play harder on the field of life
Crushing all those against me
Victory is within sight

Tomorrow is another day
I said this long ago
And now I stand so much stronger
Than I have ever been before

The time is now that I face my fate
I smell triumph in the air
The path to victory I have taken
And it has lead me here


The key to winning is positivity and believing in yourself. If you believe that you can conquer your world, then you are half ways there.” –Monica Renata  


The Unnoticed Bloom

The Unnoticed Bloom
By: Monica Renata

Today the flowers bloomed
But you didn’t even notice
Their fluorescent smell crossed the meadow
Yet your nose didn’t even notice
They were so beautiful and also bright
But your eyes could not see
You were surrounded by endless beauty
But your heart wouldn’t let you see

To be surrounded by such greatness
But inside filled with grief
Happiness is overshadowed
By the darkness which is inside deep
Deep within your battered soul
Deep within your heart
You can’t see the joy around you
If you house hate in your heart

Good days are bound to happen
And so are bad days as well
But it is up to you to decide
Which days will overwhelm
To hold on to something that brings you down
Makes no sense at all
For if you continue to carry that weight
You will never rise after each fall

Today the flowers bloomed
I wish that you could see
Their fluorescent smell crossed the meadow
I wish you could smell those flowers with me
They were so beautiful and also bright
You would enjoy this sight indeed
To be surrounded by endless beauty
You need to open up your heart and let it see


Don’t let disappointments in your life get you down. If you hang on to all the negativity in your life, you will never be able to rise above it. Stay positive and know that each day is a new day to do better.” – Monica Renata  

Fisherman's Treasure

Fisherman’s Treasure
By: Monica Renata

As he sat upon the rocky beach
Holding on to his precious gem
He glanced at it one last time
Before a.m. turned to p.m.

Overwhelmed with emotions
Inside he feels like he has died
Yet he tries to hold on to the memories made
He tries hard not to cry

But in his instance of sorry
He decided to throw the gem away
Even though it was beautiful and shined so brightly
He no longer wanted it around his face

So deep down in the ocean blue
The gem should shine no more
Covered by endless sediment
As it landed on the ocean floor

A precious gem that once had value
Has value no more
Sitting patiently waiting to be found
On that lonely ocean floor

As he sat upon the rocky beach
Holding nothing in his hands
He glanced at the open water once more
Before a.m. turned to p.m.

Overwhelmed with emotions
In search of something he thought he would never find
He wants to find something special
You can see it in his eyes

And in his instance of sorrow
You can see determination on his face
He wants to find his precious
And today he cannot wait

So deep down in the ocean blue
Until his body can be seen no more
Covered by endless ocean waters
He lands on the ocean floor

A precious gem that once had value
Has value once again
And this time it shines much brighter
Than when it was in the other man’s hands

Fisherman’s treasure
A value once more restored
Be careful what you throw in the waters
For when you want again it will be there no more


 "Don't throw away something that you always wanted to keep" -Monica Renata 





Porcelain Doll

Porcelain Doll
By: Monica Renata

Cheeks the color of roses
Eyes made of glass
Sitting on the top shelf
As time so slowly pass

Watching the surroundings around
Eyes just cannot shut
Smiling so radiantly
Yet happiness isn’t felt much

People swarm around
Yet no one comes to play
Sitting on the shelf
Waiting for the next day

Never getting any attention
Only there for a few weekly stares
Beauty is so brilliant
Yet your attention I can’t have

To be something so precious
Yet to be constantly ignored
Smile brightly little porcelain doll

Through all the pain you must endure


Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Taste Your Words

Does it taste a lot like jealousy?
Mixed with a little bit of spite?
Or does it taste like motivation?
Mixed with good vibes?

Bitter about a few things?
Voicing your own insecurities and fears?
Repeating unverified words which were heard with your ears?

Two lips moving up and down
At the speed of light
Take time to taste the words that you speak
To your taste buds, are they a delight?

Bitter words uttered daily
Should be replaced by those which are sweet
Let your taste buds go on a trip
Away from negativity

Sour and bitter tastes
Shall no longer be
Instead opt for something better

That is flavorful and sweet


Monica Renata 
My Book: 
CreateSpace: https://www.createspace.com/4430912
The Awkward Butterfly: http://amzn.com/B00EP5A484

The Letter

Tear my flesh upon my back
Set a fire to my bones
Silence the words of my wisdom
I am now emotionally cold

Cold as the wind that blows on the cold November day
Pounding on my soul that wishes to see the light of day

Calm within the storm
I so decided to wait
For you to read my letter
And finally know what I have to say

Reading my every word
Words which came from my soul
I wanted you to feel what I felt
But I guess your heart is cold

Tearing up my letter
I feel each rip go down my back
Burning up the pieces
I can feel the fire burning up to my neck
Silenced are the words I wrote
They no longer mean a thing
On that cold November day
You decided to silence all words from me

Ashes lie before us both
A pile of powdery substance on the floor
And soon a draft blows them away
I guess now my soulful words are no more


Monica Renata 
My Book: 
CreateSpace: https://www.createspace.com/4430912



Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Time: How much do you really have?

Time.......

How many times have we said we just "don't have the time”???

In each day there are 24 hours, within those 24 hours are 1440 minutes, and within those minutes are 86,400 seconds..... Seems like a lot, doesn't it? 

Each day we wake up to take on the world. We go out there and do what we have to do in order to make it to the next day. At times, your day can seem so hectic and you just wish some of your time away. For example, how many times have you been sitting at work and just praying silently in your head that the end of the day would come soon so you can just go home and relax? 

It's amazing how we say time is so precious and valuable...yet we actually don't value it at all. We play around it and expect it to mold around our lives, but the truth is, time stops for no one

Everyone has a small doomsday clock above their heads that we all ignore. We neglect the fact that each day of life brings us closer to death. We forget that soon others presence will be no longer. We forget that we should embrace each moment as if it were our last...Instead; we push things to the side. We say they are not important at the moment. We say we have time to take care of all these things........And when we don't take care of these things we blame time. We say we didn't have enough of it. We say it moves too fast. We say I wish I was given more time

We don't look at ourselves. We don't see how wasteful we are of something so precious. In any given day a person can update their Facebook status, post photos on Instagram, play games, and watch hours of TV but swear they didn't have time for other things in life....

To pick up the phone and call someone just to say hello
To hug a family member and tell them how much you love them
To help your fellow man and encourage others in life
To open your mind and see things through new eyes

Small things, that many of us swear we have no time for..............

In each day there are 24 hours, within those 24 hours are 1440 minutes, and within those minutes are 86,400 seconds..... It may seem like a lot, but it actually isn’t. Time is one of the few things in life we can’t get back once it is used. Each day is something special. Each day is a day in which you should take advantage of every second and do positive things with your life. Don’t fool around with idle tasks that do nothing for you. Open your eyes and see the beauty that surrounds you and appreciate it. Don’t let someone’s clock expire before you actually realize how much they mean to you.
Take time to tell people you love them, and make every second of your life count!!

Have a great day!!!

Monica Renata

My Book: 
CreateSpace: https://www.createspace.com/4430912


Thursday, March 13, 2014

The Search For Happy

No one can buy you your happiness
It is something only you must seek
For even in the brightest forest
It can still be hard to see

To find your true happiness
You might have to search through the stars above
Because everyone's happiness isn't in water
Nor even down the many streets that you walk

No one can buy you your happiness
So stop thinking that this is something others have to do
Get out and chase your dreams
Find some hobbies to pursue

Happiness isn't hard to find
It is just sometimes hard to see
Hard to see what you truly want
Hard to see what makes you happy

Find the things in life that make you smile
Find the things that make you sing
And in your quest of finding those things
You will find you way to HAPPY and see what true happiness really means

Journey to the Mountain

I journey to the mountain
To face the war I waged
My thoughts are filled with victory
But inside I'm afraid

To face what I have longed to face
To face what is unknown
Forward I shall continue
Until what is unknown is known

Surrounded by the enemy unexpectedly
I try to draw my sword
But it isn't next to me
And I am also standing alone

I am alone once again
It feels like cement is on my feet
I close my eyes and count to ten
Yet when I open my eyes I cannot see

A casulaty of this battle field
I shall someday be
Surrounded by all my fears
I know I shall face defeat

Heart pounding
Skin sweating
Eyes open but I can't see
I am fighting my own demons
That reside in me

My thoughts are taking me everywhere
But the truth I can't escape
And soon I find myself standing
In another unfamiliar place

In the sea I so stand
With a rage that can't be tamed
Surrounded by an endless sea
But my hands are covered in flames

So much power I have within
Yet I am unable to use
I feel like I have not the time to spend
On battling my dark inner truths

But running serves no purpose
For the enemy gets stronger with my retreat
I have to one day face my fears
I have to overcome obstacles put in place by me

I journey to the mountain
To face the war that inside I waged
My thoughts are filled with victory
But inside I'm afraid

I have to face the truth inside
I have to come to terms with what's within
I am fighting a battle with my fears
And today I plan to win

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Going it Alone

"I'm going to the movies alone..............."

Never in a million years would I have ever thought of doing this. I mean, who does that? The only people who go to the movies alone are weirdos, friendless people...... you know.... people who are NOT you. 
But you know what.........what is so bad about it? 

Today, I sat at work thinking about how much I wanted to go see a movie. In all honesty, I thought about it for quite some time,  however, I didn't want to go alone. Therefore, I waited because I thought others would have asked me to go or even hint that they wanted to go to a movie...but none of this ever happened. In my attempt to "not go it alone" I even asked some of my friends...who turned down the request because they were "not into" that kind of movie. So there I was.... Wanting so see a movie..... but had no one to go see it with. And quite frankly, everyone seemed so wrapped up in their life, that doing something that is considered "uninteresting" to them would be such a burden. 

I'm not going to lie, I actually felt pitiful. 
There I was... 
Wanting to see a movie that I waited to come out for over 2 years.....
.and didn't have anyone to go with....not a dang soul
But hey, I wanted to go see it... So I had it in my head that I was going to go but I had to call others to get reassurance.

I called some friends and asked them if they would ever go see a movie alone. I was hoping that they would have encouraging words however, they did not have anything nice to say. 

"That's so lame!! Who goes to the movies alone?"
"Going to the movies alone is boring....."
"A person must be really desperate and unliked if they go see a movie alone.."

These types of comments kept coming. I actually decided to cancel my plans to initially see the movie because of them. But then I thought to myself, Why am I afraid to go alone

I couldn't even answer that question......... It's not like I thought I would have been taunted by the movie theater ghost.... Nor was it that I thought the Loser logo would be stamped on my forehead....The truth was.... I was just afraid of what others think....But why should I even care about what others think of me? So what if they think I'm lame!!!.... So what if they think I am desperate or unliked!!!!..... truth is... they can THINK whatever they wish of me because at the end of the day I know myself. And I know that I am not any of those things. 

I went to the movies. Alone. I went so early in the day that only a handful of people were in there.. And I had a great time. I laughed, I was entertained, and I was happy...But most importantly, I learned something about myself. 

If you are constantly afraid to do things alone, you will miss out on true growth and some of the best experiences in life

I find this event as a stepping stone to my future. I no longer will let the thoughts of others deter me from what I want to do. We all come across roadblocks in life, and many times those roadblocks are people's thoughts...but we just don't realize it them. 

Wake up!!! Stop being scared of lonely because lonely isn't  a bad thing. Don't be afraid to burn your own path in life. Don't be afraid to venture from the crowd. Sure it might be scary, but you will definitely thank yourself later. 

I went see a movie alone...
And no it didn't suck as much as I thought it would have..
It actually made me realize that sometimes I should be satisfied with just the company of ME. 




Sunday, March 9, 2014

The Wait

As the sky went from blue to midnight
As my room slowly faded to black
Thoughts wandered through my mind
But in my spot I so sat

A place that is so old
Yet it always seems brand new
The place you told me to wait
If I wanted to ever see you

Surrounded by what I always knew
But yet also surrounded by the unknowns
Thoughts racing through my mind
I can't figure out which way I shall one day go

To leave this place would be a dream
But to leave would be a dream not so much
So instead I will just wait it out
Waiting for your touch

But I can't do this forever
One day I want to be free
I can't keep waiting for forever
So now may be my time to leave

As the sky went from midnight to blue
As my room slowly faded to blue from black
Thoughts wandered through my mind
But in my spot I so sat
Yet this time I wasn't as still
As I have been before
My feet finally started moving
And I'm making my way towards the door









Sunday, March 2, 2014

Insides

Twigs upon the great oak tree
Seem to break with the wind
Limbs which were thought to be strong
Actually do bend
The outer appearance shows much
But it doesn't show all
To be strong on the outside
Doesn't reflect what's inside and that's the downfall

As strong as a great big wall
But hallow on the inside
Putting on a mask of a greater emotion
Than what is really felt inside
Standing like the great oak tree
So strong and beautiful indeed
But if only others knew
That my insides were so weak

"Hiding emotions really doesn't solve anything... It just makes you weaker. " -Monica Renata 


Friday, February 28, 2014

The Bricks They Shall Throw

The Bricks They Shall Throw
By: Monica Renata

You started building your castle
Started building from the floor
Bricks are piled before your feet
Yet they keep throwing more

Surrounded by your enemies
Who disguised themselves as friends
On and On you shall keep building
Hoping one day this pain will end

Constant jokes are about you
They are calling you out your name
You want to leave this place
You are very much ashamed

But in your instance of sorrow
Your castle walls shall grow
And soon you shall stand in a fortress
Made up of what others decided to throw

Stronger than what stood before
Each brick gave a little more strength
Those words hurt you deeply
But inside you found your inner strength

Beautiful and lovely
So much stronger than you were before
Just continue to build towards your dreams daily
Despite the bricks that others may throw


"Never let what others say deter you from your dreams!! Take their negative comments and turn it into motivation for you to move forward!" -Monica Renata

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

They Said I wouldn't Make It

They Said I Wouldn’t Make it
By: Monica Renata

They said I wouldn’t make it
So I said I disagree
And then they made a circle around
And starting teasing me

They said I wouldn’t make it
So I said that can’t be so
For I have faith in myself
And I resonate with hope

They said I wouldn’t make it
So I didn’t say a word
I did what I had to do
And I started to ignore

Ignore all of the negative comments
Ignore everyone but me
Because in order to truly make it
I have to be true to me

They said I wouldn’t make it
Oh how they wished that was so true
Because now I am excelling past them
And making my wishes come true

"Don't let the negative opinion of others make you afraid to accomplish your goals." - Monica REnata

Fly

Fly
By: Monica Renata

On our backs they sat
Yet they seemed so heavy to hold
We always thought others were holding us back
But that was not always so

A burden that is so heavy
Makes us unable to reach the mountain that is so high
There is a fire brewing in our belly
Yet still we are unable to fly

Trying to get one foot off the ground
But being held down each time
The world is slowly moving but we cannot hear a sound

And on our back they so sat
So beautiful indeed
Almost comparable to eagles
These beautiful and powerful wings

Yet no matter how strong they are
They still will be unable to help you fly
If you hold on to all your pain
If you let hope in your heart die

Glorious beginnings
Please take life in stride
Don’t hold on to all of life’s hurt
Let go and you will be able to fly!!

“In order to excel in life, you must be willing to let of the things that hold you down.” –Monica Renata

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Winter to Spring

Winter snow is falling down
Soon to be no more
For Spring is finally coming
And life shall no longer be a bore

Birds will once again fly around
And the leaves will show once again on trees
For Spring is the loveliest of seasons
And since it is coming I am pleased



Friday, February 21, 2014

No Exceptions

Nature provides exceptions
For every single rule
And alas I fell for it completely
And I got lost in you

The things I said I wanted
Didn't matter if they weren't with you
I was lost in my own stupidity
I was acting like a fool

I said I would never make exceptions
But then I couldn't see
How I could make everything work
If I really wasn't happy

So I threw out the idea of what I wanted
And I said I would never look back
I said at least I'm happy
So what if they may lack

But as time goes on
There are some things that you will see
The other will constantly wonder
"Why are they talking to me?"
And they will confront you
With what you said you wanted before
And you won't be able to answer
Because in your heart you want them more

More than those petty things you wanted
More than what you ever said you need
But even if you voice this to them
You  know they won't believe

So therefore make no exceptions
Stick to what you say you want
Because sometimes liking someone for themselves
Really isn't enough

People want to feel secure
They want to know that to others they can't compare
So next time just stick with what you want
Or what you get will vanish in thin air


Just Give It Your All.........Or Maybe Not

“If you really want something, you have to give it your all.”………….. I know everyone has heard this before. We are taught from our young years that if we want something bad enough all we have to do is put our all into and. And if we put our ALL into it, we will reach our goals………But is that true? Are you capable of achieving what your heart may so desire just by giving it YOUR ALL???

The answer is yes, and no…………You see, when we have a goal that is solely dependent on us, then of course if we give it our all we can accomplish it. For example, say I want to become a college graduate. That is indeed a possibility. I can do all the things required to reach that point. Sign up for fianancial aid, come up with ways to fund my schooling, study, devote my free time to indulging myself in my studies, put my ALL into it… you know stuff like that… and eventually I will obtain my goal.

The difficulties come in when your goal revolves around another person as well. For example, let me see……..let’s talk about the topic of relationships. You can want a relationship to last and prosper into something else (ya know, possibly marriage). So you do everything to try to make it work. You put aside your selfish pride. You devote a lot of your time into the other person. You make them feel special (or so you thought), you let them into your life fully, basically YOU GIVE THEM YOUR ALL………but then later on, it just doesn’t work. Hmmmm, I wonder why? Many times I see many people say, “I gave it my all so I don’t understand why it didn’t work” but the truth is, your all is only good enough when you are the only variable in the equation. When someone else is in the mix, your good enough could be cancelled out by their weakness and your best then becomes mediocre.

“I gave it my all”………. Athletes usually say this too. Sometimes you can give something your all, but then experience a loss. Like the other team just obliterated you; the score was 15 to 72 (a horrible loss). You feel like you gave it your all, and then you wonder was your all good enough? It probably was, however, it did not radiate to others because the rest of your team lacks skill..lol.

This happens. This is life. Is there a reason to cry over it? No, not really. But hey, sometimes a good cry could help you with the situation (tears are sometimes like therapy!!!). I guess what I am trying to say is…….”If you really want something, you have to give it your all”……….. and if it doesn’t work out SO WHAT!!! YOU TRIED!!! And you should be happy about that. Your personal best shouldn’t be defined by the best of others. Things happen and life goes on. And sometimes a few bad experiences help mold you into a phenomenal person. So reach for the stars and don’t let anyone tell you that your best isn’t good enough. Because eventually, everything you desire will be in your grasp, and one day those relationships will work out, and your team will win those games, and all that good stuff.

So smile, and keep on truckin!!! Because if you really want something……….. and you give it your all……You have a higher chance of obtaining it than if you didn’t try at all.

Have a great day,
Monica Renata

Don't get TOO Comfortable

Don’t ever get too comfortable
That’s what they always say
For obviously something is wrong with comfort
And it is something in which you shall run away

Don’t ever get too comfortable
They say with that look in their eyes
Yet usually when they say this
They are the one with the surprise

“Surprise! Guess what! I’m leaving!”
“You have to be ready for this now!”
“Because I said don’t get too comfortable”
“So on your face shall remain that smile”

“Surprise! Guess what! I planned this!”
“Quite some time ago”
“That’s why I always said”
“Don’t get too comfortable!”

Don’t ever get too comfortable
That’s what they always say
For obviously I shouldn’t be comfortable
Because it is them who shall run away

But alas I rather be comfortable
I rather be at ease with my day
For comfort is a form of relaxation
And I shall not stress today

Transform

Bye Bye to the old me
Adios to what came before
Now is the time to make the change
Now is the time to transform

Growth in all directions
Endless potential in sight
I can not remain complacent
For victory is right in my sight

Forward into the future
Not looking back at the past
I will be greater than before
To transform is now the task

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

It's hard for me to express my feelings

It's hard for me to express my feelings
So instead I write them down
I write sad things when I am happy
I write happy things when I frown

It's like I have to be a puzzle
I can't let anyone see
See how I am truly feeling
So I write words so all can see

Because words are something different
They are actually quite unique
They can mean one thing to you...
While also meaning another to me

I could say the wind was blowing
And leaves hit the ground
And to me that represents the tears flowing
And the wind "whooshing" is my cry

I could say the flowers bloomed
And were beautiful for all to see
But actually this represents love
That has finally reached its peak

It's hard for me to express my feelings
So instead I write them down
But alas it solves nothing
And my world keeps tumbling down

I'm Beautiful

I'm Beautiful
By: Monica Renata

I'm beautiful on the inside
Even though you cannot see
My heart is as pure as water
My emotions are true as they can be

I'm beautiful on the outside
Even though I may not get many stares
I have a presence that is undeniable
I sometimes express myself by what I wear

I am very beautiful
On the outside and underneath
I may not be your definition of beautiful
But I am beautiful to me



The Trap

The Trap
By: Monica Renata

Clinging on the mountainside
I watch as you react
You have a look of shock on your face
You don’t know how to act
Your heart is beating fiercely
You tell me “hold on, don’t let go”
You want me in your life completely
You can’t image living your life alone

Clinging on the mountainside
I watch as you react
You reach your hand out to me
But I refuse like a brat
“Why are you doing this?!”
“Give me your hand so we can go!”
But I know that this is a trap
And I can’t do this anymore

I can’t let you rescue me this time
Because what I’m running from is you
I can’t keep going back to you
Even though you are the only one I knew
I can’t allow myself to be broken further
Because I know I will be broken again this time
I can’t keep chasing what makes me happy
If what makes me happy also makes me cry

Clinging on the mountainside
I watch as you react
You have a look of shock on your face
You don’t know how to act
I fell for this too many times
I can no longer fall for this trap

I have to let go of this all
I have to stop neglecting me
I have to find my true freedom
As I float upon the wind

Monday, February 17, 2014

Paper People

If people were like paper
And were made from great big trees
How much would you appreciate them?
How much would their value really mean? 

Would you tattoo their flesh with hearts? 
Would you write lovely words on them? 
Or would you crumble them up and throw them away
Hoping to never see them again? 

If people were like paper
Would you finally be able to see
See how your words affect them?
See the hurt underneath? 

How broken you made them feel? 
How crumbled they are inside? 
If people were like paper
A straight one would be hard to find

For life throws everyone curve balls
And life isn't always sweet
We are constantly straightened out as best as can be
After we overcome a defeat

But the wrinkles in that paper
Will always be there
The stains of the past can't be washed away
Yet they can't be seen by a simple stare

People guard their feelings
With the expressions on their face
No one truly knows the person inside
No one knows what they been through to date

If people were like paper
It would be so neat
Because we could all see that we aren't perfect
Yet we all are still very unique

We could understand that everyone's been hurt
We could see that many have overcame
And the wrinkliest of paper people
Had a lot to overcome




Sunday, February 16, 2014

Prettier Than Me

As I stare into the mirror
I can't describe what I see
My vision is so blurry
But I know that ahead is a picture of me

She is just so plain and simple
Not at all unique
No glamour of the movie stars
Not the pearliest of white teeth

Her clothes are somewhat tattered
Worn from years of use
She tries to smile
But suddenly she gets confused

What is there to smile about
There is nothing here to see
Some changes must be made
She has to be the woman you want her to be

So out she pulls her makeup bag
That allows her to doodle away
She starts to prepare everything
And brush makeup on her face

She highlights her eyes
The eyes that she thought you never knew
She paints her lips so carefully
Those lips which always yearned to kiss you

She works on her masterpiece
She even does her hair
She curls it like the girls you like
She wants you to stare

And soon when she is satisfied
She will finally smile
And put down all of her brushes
And begin to dress herself in a new style

All of this for you
Not an ounce of it for me
Yet when I finally reveal myself
It isn't I that you see

Her eyes are so much brighter
Her clothes are so brand new
Her waist is definitely smaller
Her smile is pearly white too

She has just everything
Everything I wanted to be
I wanted to make you happy
But she is prettier than me

Her looks catch your attention
While my looks are just a bore
You ask her out on dates
And it hurts me to the core

My feelings are so hurt
I can't paint on what I am not underneath
I can't even compete
I don't stand a chance
I get it
She's prettier than me