Hero's Curse

Hero’s Curse

By: Monica Renata

Volcanoes erupt.

The sky is filled with gray.

Who will come and save us

On this so unfortunate day?

Hearts are stricken with fear.

Eyes are filled with fright.

We need someone to save us.

We need someone to use all their might.

And amidst the gloomy stratosphere

Someone rises against the foe.

It appears to be a hero

Who has been frequently seen before.

Grateful are the people.

Two cheers for the battle that goes on.

We must applaud our hero.

For he is very strong.

His battle wounds will go ignored.

The fight will still go on.

And in the end he defeats the villain.

But inside he is torn.

For all the times he helped others

He never saw this deed repeat

For he helped others all the time

But wondered who would help in his time of need

And as the skies restore to blue.

His heart sinks instead of soar.

For he shall go to his hideout.

And wait til the next time he is needed once more.

The curse of being a hero.

People are always cheering so happily.

Yet no one can truly calm the sadness.

Which inside the hero they can’t see.

Who will save the hero?

The world may never know.

Yet when others are in need.

You will see him again once more.

A beautiful ending.

Yet such a tragic end.

The hero saves the world again

But the world won’t be his true friend

The Path to Victory

The Path to Victory

By: Monica Renata

Tomorrow is another day

A day to put my feet back on the grass

I can’t let the past losses disappoint me

I have to keep that in the past

Tomorrow is another day

In which I will continue to train

I have to keep getting better

Even if it means practicing in the storming rain

Tomorrow is another day

A day in which victory is close

For each day I give my all

I am placing fear in my foes

Work hard each day

Play harder on the field of life

Crushing all those against me

Victory is within sight

Tomorrow is another day

I said this long ago

And now I stand so much stronger

Than I have ever been before

The time is now that I face my fate

I smell triumph in the air

The path to victory I have taken

And it has lead me here

“The key to winning is positivity and believing in yourself. If you believe that you can conquer your world, then you are half ways there.” –Monica Renata  

The Unnoticed Bloom

The Unnoticed Bloom

By: Monica Renata

Today the flowers bloomed

But you didn’t even notice

Their fluorescent smell crossed the meadow

Yet your nose didn’t even notice

They were so beautiful and also bright

But your eyes could not see

You were surrounded by endless beauty

But your heart wouldn’t let you see

To be surrounded by such greatness

But inside filled with grief

Happiness is overshadowed

By the darkness which is inside deep

Deep within your battered soul

Deep within your heart

You can’t see the joy around you

If you house hate in your heart

Good days are bound to happen

And so are bad days as well

But it is up to you to decide

Which days will overwhelm

To hold on to something that brings you down

Makes no sense at all

For if you continue to carry that weight

You will never rise after each fall

Today the flowers bloomed

I wish that you could see

Their fluorescent smell crossed the meadow

I wish you could smell those flowers with me

They were so beautiful and also bright

You would enjoy this sight indeed

To be surrounded by endless beauty

You need to open up your heart and let it see

“Don’t let disappointments in your life get you down. If you hang on to all the negativity in your life, you will never be able to rise above it. Stay positive and know that each day is a new day to do better.” – Monica Renata  

Fisherman's Treasure

Fisherman’s Treasure

By: Monica Renata

As he sat upon the rocky beach

Holding on to his precious gem

He glanced at it one last time

Before a.m. turned to p.m.

Overwhelmed with emotions

Inside he feels like he has died

Yet he tries to hold on to the memories made

He tries hard not to cry

But in his instance of sorry

He decided to throw the gem away

Even though it was beautiful and shined so brightly

He no longer wanted it around his face

So deep down in the ocean blue

The gem should shine no more

Covered by endless sediment

As it landed on the ocean floor

A precious gem that once had value

Has value no more

Sitting patiently waiting to be found

On that lonely ocean floor

As he sat upon the rocky beach

Holding nothing in his hands

He glanced at the open water once more

Before a.m. turned to p.m.

Overwhelmed with emotions

In search of something he thought he would never find

He wants to find something special

You can see it in his eyes

And in his instance of sorrow

You can see determination on his face

He wants to find his precious

And today he cannot wait

So deep down in the ocean blue

Until his body can be seen no more

Covered by endless ocean waters

He lands on the ocean floor

A precious gem that once had value

Has value once again

And this time it shines much brighter

Than when it was in the other man’s hands

Fisherman’s treasure

A value once more restored

Be careful what you throw in the waters

For when you want again it will be there no more

 "Don't throw away something that you always wanted to keep" -Monica Renata 

Porcelain Doll

Porcelain Doll

By: Monica Renata

Cheeks the color of roses

Eyes made of glass

Sitting on the top shelf

As time so slowly pass

Watching the surroundings around

Eyes just cannot shut

Smiling so radiantly

Yet happiness isn’t felt much

People swarm around

Yet no one comes to play

Sitting on the shelf

Waiting for the next day

Never getting any attention

Only there for a few weekly stares

Beauty is so brilliant

Yet your attention I can’t have

To be something so precious

Yet to be constantly ignored

Smile brightly little porcelain doll

Through all the pain you must endure

Taste Your Words

Does it taste a lot like jealousy?

Mixed with a little bit of spite?

Or does it taste like motivation?

Mixed with good vibes?

Bitter about a few things?

Voicing your own insecurities and fears?

Repeating unverified words which were heard with your ears?

Two lips moving up and down

At the speed of light

Take time to taste the words that you speak

To your taste buds, are they a delight?

Bitter words uttered daily

Should be replaced by those which are sweet

Let your taste buds go on a trip

Away from negativity

Sour and bitter tastes

Shall no longer be

Instead opt for something better

That is flavorful and sweet

Monica Renata 
My Book: 
CreateSpace: https://www.createspace.com/4430912

The Awkward Butterfly: http://amzn.com/B00EP5A484

Facebook: http://facebook.com/TheAwkwardButterfly

My Blog: 
Blog: http://monicarenata.blogspot.com

The Letter

Tear my flesh upon my back

Set a fire to my bones

Silence the words of my wisdom

I am now emotionally cold

Cold as the wind that blows on the cold November day

Pounding on my soul that wishes to see the light of day

Calm within the storm

I so decided to wait

For you to read my letter

And finally know what I have to say

Reading my every word

Words which came from my soul

I wanted you to feel what I felt

But I guess your heart is cold

Tearing up my letter

I feel each rip go down my back

Burning up the pieces

I can feel the fire burning up to my neck

Silenced are the words I wrote

They no longer mean a thing

On that cold November day

You decided to silence all words from me

Ashes lie before us both

A pile of powdery substance on the floor

And soon a draft blows them away

I guess now my soulful words are no more

Monica Renata 
My Book: 
CreateSpace: https://www.createspace.com/4430912

The Awkward Butterfly: http://amzn.com/B00EP5A484
Facebook: http://facebook.com/TheAwkwardButterfly

My Blog: 
Blog: http://monicarenata.blogspot.com

Time: How much do you really have?

Time.......

How many times have we said we just "don't have the time”???

In each day there are 24 hours, within those 24 hours are 1440 minutes, and within those minutes are 86,400 seconds..... Seems like a lot, doesn't it? 

Each day we wake up to take on the world. We go out there and do what we have to do in order to make it to the next day. At times, your day can seem so hectic and you just wish some of your time away. For example, how many times have you been sitting at work and just praying silently in your head that the end of the day would come soon so you can just go home and relax? 

It's amazing how we say time is so precious and valuable...yet we actually don't value it at all. We play around it and expect it to mold around our lives, but the truth is, time stops for no one. 

Everyone has a small doomsday clock above their heads that we all ignore. We neglect the fact that each day of life brings us closer to death. We forget that soon others presence will be no longer. We forget that we should embrace each moment as if it were our last...Instead; we push things to the side. We say they are not important at the moment. We say we have time to take care of all these things........And when we don't take care of these things we blame time. We say we didn't have enough of it. We say it moves too fast. We say I wish I was given more time. 

We don't look at ourselves. We don't see how wasteful we are of something so precious. In any given day a person can update their Facebook status, post photos on Instagram, play games, and watch hours of TV but swear they didn't have time for other things in life....

To pick up the phone and call someone just to say hello

To hug a family member and tell them how much you love them

To help your fellow man and encourage others in life

To open your mind and see things through new eyes

Small things, that many of us swear we have no time for..............

In each day there are 24 hours, within those 24 hours are 1440 minutes, and within those minutes are 86,400 seconds..... It may seem like a lot, but it actually isn’t. Time is one of the few things in life we can’t get back once it is used. Each day is something special. Each day is a day in which you should take advantage of every second and do positive things with your life. Don’t fool around with idle tasks that do nothing for you. Open your eyes and see the beauty that surrounds you and appreciate it. Don’t let someone’s clock expire before you actually realize how much they mean to you.

Take time to tell people you love them, and make every second of your life count!!

Have a great day!!!

Monica Renata

My Book: 
CreateSpace: https://www.createspace.com/4430912

The Awkward Butterfly: http://amzn.com/B00EP5A484
Facebook: http://facebook.com/TheAwkwardButterfly

My Blog: 
Blog: http://monicarenata.blogspot.com

The Search For Happy

No one can buy you your happiness
It is something only you must seek
For even in the brightest forest
It can still be hard to see

To find your true happiness
You might have to search through the stars above
Because everyone's happiness isn't in water
Nor even down the many streets that you walk

No one can buy you your happiness
So stop thinking that this is something others have to do
Get out and chase your dreams
Find some hobbies to pursue

Happiness isn't hard to find
It is just sometimes hard to see
Hard to see what you truly want
Hard to see what makes you happy

Find the things in life that make you smile
Find the things that make you sing
And in your quest of finding those things
You will find you way to HAPPY and see what true happiness really means

Journey to the Mountain

I journey to the mountain
To face the war I waged
My thoughts are filled with victory
But inside I'm afraid

To face what I have longed to face
To face what is unknown
Forward I shall continue
Until what is unknown is known

Surrounded by the enemy unexpectedly
I try to draw my sword
But it isn't next to me
And I am also standing alone

I am alone once again
It feels like cement is on my feet
I close my eyes and count to ten
Yet when I open my eyes I cannot see

A casulaty of this battle field
I shall someday be
Surrounded by all my fears
I know I shall face defeat

Heart pounding
Skin sweating
Eyes open but I can't see
I am fighting my own demons
That reside in me

My thoughts are taking me everywhere
But the truth I can't escape
And soon I find myself standing
In another unfamiliar place

In the sea I so stand
With a rage that can't be tamed
Surrounded by an endless sea
But my hands are covered in flames

So much power I have within
Yet I am unable to use
I feel like I have not the time to spend
On battling my dark inner truths

But running serves no purpose
For the enemy gets stronger with my retreat
I have to one day face my fears
I have to overcome obstacles put in place by me

I journey to the mountain
To face the war that inside I waged
My thoughts are filled with victory
But inside I'm afraid

I have to face the truth inside
I have to come to terms with what's within
I am fighting a battle with my fears
And today I plan to win

Going it Alone

"I'm going to the movies alone..............."

Never in a million years would I have ever thought of doing this. I mean, who does that? The only people who go to the movies alone are weirdos, friendless people...... you know.... people who are NOT you. 

But you know what.........what is so bad about it? 

Today, I sat at work thinking about how much I wanted to go see a movie. In all honesty, I thought about it for quite some time,  however, I didn't want to go alone. Therefore, I waited because I thought others would have asked me to go or even hint that they wanted to go to a movie...but none of this ever happened. In my attempt to "not go it alone" I even asked some of my friends...who turned down the request because they were "not into" that kind of movie. So there I was.... Wanting so see a movie..... but had no one to go see it with. And quite frankly, everyone seemed so wrapped up in their life, that doing something that is considered "uninteresting" to them would be such a burden. 

I'm not going to lie, I actually felt pitiful. 

There I was... 

Wanting to see a movie that I waited to come out for over 2 years.....

.and didn't have anyone to go with....not a dang soul

But hey, I wanted to go see it... So I had it in my head that I was going to go but I had to call others to get reassurance.

I called some friends and asked them if they would ever go see a movie alone. I was hoping that they would have encouraging words however, they did not have anything nice to say. 

"That's so lame!! Who goes to the movies alone?"

"Going to the movies alone is boring....."

"A person must be really desperate and unliked if they go see a movie alone.."

These types of comments kept coming. I actually decided to cancel my plans to initially see the movie because of them. But then I thought to myself, Why am I afraid to go alone? 

I couldn't even answer that question......... It's not like I thought I would have been taunted by the movie theater ghost.... Nor was it that I thought the Loser logo would be stamped on my forehead....The truth was.... I was just afraid of what others think....But why should I even care about what others think of me? So what if they think I'm lame!!!.... So what if they think I am desperate or unliked!!!!..... truth is... they can THINK whatever they wish of me because at the end of the day I know myself. And I know that I am not any of those things. 

I went to the movies. Alone. I went so early in the day that only a handful of people were in there.. And I had a great time. I laughed, I was entertained, and I was happy...But most importantly, I learned something about myself. 

If you are constantly afraid to do things alone, you will miss out on true growth and some of the best experiences in life. 

I find this event as a stepping stone to my future. I no longer will let the thoughts of others deter me from what I want to do. We all come across roadblocks in life, and many times those roadblocks are people's thoughts...but we just don't realize it them. 

Wake up!!! Stop being scared of lonely because lonely isn't  a bad thing. Don't be afraid to burn your own path in life. Don't be afraid to venture from the crowd. Sure it might be scary, but you will definitely thank yourself later. 

I went see a movie alone...

And no it didn't suck as much as I thought it would have..

It actually made me realize that sometimes I should be satisfied with just the company of ME. 

The Wait

As the sky went from blue to midnight
As my room slowly faded to black
Thoughts wandered through my mind
But in my spot I so sat

A place that is so old
Yet it always seems brand new
The place you told me to wait
If I wanted to ever see you

Surrounded by what I always knew
But yet also surrounded by the unknowns
Thoughts racing through my mind
I can't figure out which way I shall one day go

To leave this place would be a dream
But to leave would be a dream not so much
So instead I will just wait it out
Waiting for your touch

But I can't do this forever
One day I want to be free
I can't keep waiting for forever
So now may be my time to leave

As the sky went from midnight to blue
As my room slowly faded to blue from black
Thoughts wandered through my mind
But in my spot I so sat
Yet this time I wasn't as still
As I have been before
My feet finally started moving
And I'm making my way towards the door

Insides

Twigs upon the great oak tree
Seem to break with the wind
Limbs which were thought to be strong
Actually do bend
The outer appearance shows much
But it doesn't show all
To be strong on the outside
Doesn't reflect what's inside and that's the downfall

As strong as a great big wall
But hallow on the inside
Putting on a mask of a greater emotion
Than what is really felt inside
Standing like the great oak tree
So strong and beautiful indeed
But if only others knew
That my insides were so weak

"Hiding emotions really doesn't solve anything... It just makes you weaker. " -Monica Renata 

The Bricks They Shall Throw

The Bricks They Shall Throw
By: Monica Renata

You started building your castle
Started building from the floor
Bricks are piled before your feet
Yet they keep throwing more

Surrounded by your enemies
Who disguised themselves as friends
On and On you shall keep building
Hoping one day this pain will end

Constant jokes are about you
They are calling you out your name
You want to leave this place
You are very much ashamed

But in your instance of sorrow
Your castle walls shall grow
And soon you shall stand in a fortress
Made up of what others decided to throw

Stronger than what stood before
Each brick gave a little more strength
Those words hurt you deeply
But inside you found your inner strength

Beautiful and lovely
So much stronger than you were before
Just continue to build towards your dreams daily
Despite the bricks that others may throw


"Never let what others say deter you from your dreams!! Take their negative comments and turn it into motivation for you to move forward!" -Monica Renata

They Said I wouldn't Make It

They Said I Wouldn’t Make it
By: Monica Renata

They said I wouldn’t make it
So I said I disagree
And then they made a circle around
And starting teasing me

They said I wouldn’t make it
So I said that can’t be so
For I have faith in myself
And I resonate with hope

They said I wouldn’t make it
So I didn’t say a word
I did what I had to do
And I started to ignore

Ignore all of the negative comments
Ignore everyone but me
Because in order to truly make it
I have to be true to me

They said I wouldn’t make it
Oh how they wished that was so true
Because now I am excelling past them
And making my wishes come true

"Don't let the negative opinion of others make you afraid to accomplish your goals." - Monica REnata

Fly

Fly
By: Monica Renata

On our backs they sat
Yet they seemed so heavy to hold
We always thought others were holding us back
But that was not always so

A burden that is so heavy
Makes us unable to reach the mountain that is so high
There is a fire brewing in our belly
Yet still we are unable to fly

Trying to get one foot off the ground
But being held down each time
The world is slowly moving but we cannot hear a sound

And on our back they so sat
So beautiful indeed
Almost comparable to eagles
These beautiful and powerful wings

Yet no matter how strong they are
They still will be unable to help you fly
If you hold on to all your pain
If you let hope in your heart die

Glorious beginnings
Please take life in stride
Don’t hold on to all of life’s hurt
Let go and you will be able to fly!!

“In order to excel in life, you must be willing to let of the things that hold you down.” –Monica Renata

Winter to Spring

Winter snow is falling down
Soon to be no more
For Spring is finally coming
And life shall no longer be a bore

Birds will once again fly around
And the leaves will show once again on trees
For Spring is the loveliest of seasons
And since it is coming I am pleased

No Exceptions

Nature provides exceptions
For every single rule
And alas I fell for it completely
And I got lost in you

The things I said I wanted
Didn't matter if they weren't with you
I was lost in my own stupidity
I was acting like a fool

I said I would never make exceptions
But then I couldn't see
How I could make everything work
If I really wasn't happy

So I threw out the idea of what I wanted
And I said I would never look back
I said at least I'm happy
So what if they may lack

But as time goes on
There are some things that you will see
The other will constantly wonder
"Why are they talking to me?"
And they will confront you
With what you said you wanted before
And you won't be able to answer
Because in your heart you want them more

More than those petty things you wanted
More than what you ever said you need
But even if you voice this to them
You  know they won't believe

So therefore make no exceptions
Stick to what you say you want
Because sometimes liking someone for themselves
Really isn't enough

People want to feel secure
They want to know that to others they can't compare
So next time just stick with what you want
Or what you get will vanish in thin air

Just Give It Your All.........Or Maybe Not

“If you really want something, you have to give it your all.”………….. I know everyone has heard this before. We are taught from our young years that if we want something bad enough all we have to do is put our all into and. And if we put our ALL into it, we will reach our goals………But is that true? Are you capable of achieving what your heart may so desire just by giving it YOUR ALL???

The answer is yes, and no…………You see, when we have a goal that is solely dependent on us, then of course if we give it our all we can accomplish it. For example, say I want to become a college graduate. That is indeed a possibility. I can do all the things required to reach that point. Sign up for fianancial aid, come up with ways to fund my schooling, study, devote my free time to indulging myself in my studies, put my ALL into it… you know stuff like that… and eventually I will obtain my goal.

The difficulties come in when your goal revolves around another person as well. For example, let me see……..let’s talk about the topic of relationships. You can want a relationship to last and prosper into something else (ya know, possibly marriage). So you do everything to try to make it work. You put aside your selfish pride. You devote a lot of your time into the other person. You make them feel special (or so you thought), you let them into your life fully, basically YOU GIVE THEM YOUR ALL………but then later on, it just doesn’t work. Hmmmm, I wonder why? Many times I see many people say, “I gave it my all so I don’t understand why it didn’t work” but the truth is, your all is only good enough when you are the only variable in the equation. When someone else is in the mix, your good enough could be cancelled out by their weakness and your best then becomes mediocre.

“I gave it my all”………. Athletes usually say this too. Sometimes you can give something your all, but then experience a loss. Like the other team just obliterated you; the score was 15 to 72 (a horrible loss). You feel like you gave it your all, and then you wonder was your all good enough? It probably was, however, it did not radiate to others because the rest of your team lacks skill..lol.

This happens. This is life. Is there a reason to cry over it? No, not really. But hey, sometimes a good cry could help you with the situation (tears are sometimes like therapy!!!). I guess what I am trying to say is…….”If you really want something, you have to give it your all”……….. and if it doesn’t work out SO WHAT!!! YOU TRIED!!! And you should be happy about that. Your personal best shouldn’t be defined by the best of others. Things happen and life goes on. And sometimes a few bad experiences help mold you into a phenomenal person. So reach for the stars and don’t let anyone tell you that your best isn’t good enough. Because eventually, everything you desire will be in your grasp, and one day those relationships will work out, and your team will win those games, and all that good stuff.

So smile, and keep on truckin!!! Because if you really want something……….. and you give it your all……You have a higher chance of obtaining it than if you didn’t try at all.

Have a great day,
Monica Renata

Don't get TOO Comfortable

Don’t ever get too comfortable
That’s what they always say
For obviously something is wrong with comfort
And it is something in which you shall run away

Don’t ever get too comfortable
They say with that look in their eyes
Yet usually when they say this
They are the one with the surprise

“Surprise! Guess what! I’m leaving!”
“You have to be ready for this now!”
“Because I said don’t get too comfortable”
“So on your face shall remain that smile”

“Surprise! Guess what! I planned this!”
“Quite some time ago”
“That’s why I always said”
“Don’t get too comfortable!”

Don’t ever get too comfortable
That’s what they always say
For obviously I shouldn’t be comfortable
Because it is them who shall run away

But alas I rather be comfortable
I rather be at ease with my day
For comfort is a form of relaxation
And I shall not stress today

Transform

Bye Bye to the old me
Adios to what came before
Now is the time to make the change
Now is the time to transform

Growth in all directions
Endless potential in sight
I can not remain complacent
For victory is right in my sight

Forward into the future
Not looking back at the past
I will be greater than before
To transform is now the task

It's hard for me to express my feelings

It's hard for me to express my feelings
So instead I write them down
I write sad things when I am happy
I write happy things when I frown

It's like I have to be a puzzle
I can't let anyone see
See how I am truly feeling
So I write words so all can see

Because words are something different
They are actually quite unique
They can mean one thing to you...
While also meaning another to me

I could say the wind was blowing
And leaves hit the ground
And to me that represents the tears flowing
And the wind "whooshing" is my cry

I could say the flowers bloomed
And were beautiful for all to see
But actually this represents love
That has finally reached its peak

It's hard for me to express my feelings
So instead I write them down
But alas it solves nothing
And my world keeps tumbling down

I'm Beautiful

I'm Beautiful
By: Monica Renata

I'm beautiful on the inside
Even though you cannot see
My heart is as pure as water
My emotions are true as they can be

I'm beautiful on the outside
Even though I may not get many stares
I have a presence that is undeniable
I sometimes express myself by what I wear

I am very beautiful
On the outside and underneath
I may not be your definition of beautiful
But I am beautiful to me

The Trap

The Trap
By: Monica Renata

Clinging on the mountainside
I watch as you react
You have a look of shock on your face
You don’t know how to act
Your heart is beating fiercely
You tell me “hold on, don’t let go”
You want me in your life completely
You can’t image living your life alone

Clinging on the mountainside
I watch as you react
You reach your hand out to me
But I refuse like a brat
“Why are you doing this?!”
“Give me your hand so we can go!”
But I know that this is a trap
And I can’t do this anymore

I can’t let you rescue me this time
Because what I’m running from is you
I can’t keep going back to you
Even though you are the only one I knew
I can’t allow myself to be broken further
Because I know I will be broken again this time
I can’t keep chasing what makes me happy
If what makes me happy also makes me cry

Clinging on the mountainside
I watch as you react
You have a look of shock on your face
You don’t know how to act
I fell for this too many times
I can no longer fall for this trap

I have to let go of this all
I have to stop neglecting me
I have to find my true freedom
As I float upon the wind

Paper People

If people were like paper

And were made from great big trees

How much would you appreciate them?

How much would their value really mean? 

Would you tattoo their flesh with hearts? 

Would you write lovely words on them? 

Or would you crumble them up and throw them away

Hoping to never see them again? 

If people were like paper

Would you finally be able to see

See how your words affect them?

See the hurt underneath? 

How broken you made them feel? 

How crumbled they are inside? 

If people were like paper

A straight one would be hard to find

For life throws everyone curve balls

And life isn't always sweet

We are constantly straightened out as best as can be

After we overcome a defeat

But the wrinkles in that paper

Will always be there

The stains of the past can't be washed away

Yet they can't be seen by a simple stare

People guard their feelings

With the expressions on their face

No one truly knows the person inside

No one knows what they been through to date

If people were like paper

It would be so neat

Because we could all see that we aren't perfect

Yet we all are still very unique

We could understand that everyone's been hurt

We could see that many have overcame

And the wrinkliest of paper people

Had a lot to overcome

Prettier Than Me

As I stare into the mirror
I can't describe what I see
My vision is so blurry
But I know that ahead is a picture of me

She is just so plain and simple
Not at all unique
No glamour of the movie stars
Not the pearliest of white teeth

Her clothes are somewhat tattered
Worn from years of use
She tries to smile
But suddenly she gets confused

What is there to smile about
There is nothing here to see
Some changes must be made
She has to be the woman you want her to be

So out she pulls her makeup bag
That allows her to doodle away
She starts to prepare everything
And brush makeup on her face

She highlights her eyes
The eyes that she thought you never knew
She paints her lips so carefully
Those lips which always yearned to kiss you

She works on her masterpiece
She even does her hair
She curls it like the girls you like
She wants you to stare

And soon when she is satisfied
She will finally smile
And put down all of her brushes
And begin to dress herself in a new style

All of this for you
Not an ounce of it for me
Yet when I finally reveal myself
It isn't I that you see

Her eyes are so much brighter
Her clothes are so brand new
Her waist is definitely smaller
Her smile is pearly white too

She has just everything
Everything I wanted to be
I wanted to make you happy
But she is prettier than me

Her looks catch your attention
While my looks are just a bore
You ask her out on dates
And it hurts me to the core

My feelings are so hurt
I can't paint on what I am not underneath
I can't even compete
I don't stand a chance
I get it
She's prettier than me

I Understand

Standing face to face

Expressing words that are true to you

I wish you could hear my feelings

I wish that you knew the truth

Telling me what's bothering you

But not knowing what bothers me

I can feel myself fall apart

While I am standing on my two feet

Your words they pierce like daggers

My heart skips a few beats

Your words are stinging each part of me

Killing me softly on repeat

Looking deeply in my eyes

You want to make sure your words are known

You ask for my response

You say you can't do this anymore

I say I understand

But that is not quite true

For every time I say that

I am just trying not to disappoint you

I say I understand

But in my mind I wonder still

I can't seem to take all of this in

But I have no choice but to swallow this pill

I say I understand

But I wish you would school me

On how you are really feeling

About where you wish you could be

I can't comprehend the worse

I refuse to crush the bit of hope in my hand

I don't understand what you want right now

But I will say

I understand

In The Corner

And In that corner I so sat
As I let love pass me by
Drifting away into a deep sleep
Calming myself with lullabies

Trying to tame my trembling heart
Trying to make sense of what it's been through
Slowing taking out the shards of glass
That were placed there by you

You who had my heart completely
You who made me complete
You who made my heart beat fiercely
You who decided to retreat

Of all the love I had bursting inside
And the love you had to turn out not be so true
But I have to pull myself together
I have to get over you

Drifting away in that corner
Waiting for my mind to sleep
I shall rest easy once you aren't on my mind
For I need my inner peace

I Missed The Bus

I missed the bus again today
It just went  passing by
I got a whiff of the black smoke
I got dirt in my eyes

I missed the bus again today
It is now on the next street
Waiting to  pick up its next passengers
Waiting for everyone but me

I missed the bus again today
Just like I did last time
I think I have to be more alert
And stop letting opportunities pass me by

Valentine's Day Freebie

The Awkward Butterfly

CreateSpace: https://www.createspace.com/4430912

Amazon: http://amzn.com/1492343781

Amazon Kindle: http://amzn.com/B00EP5A484

Keyword: Love

CreateSpace: https://www.createspace.com/4442730

Amazon: http://amzn.com/1492724211

Amazon Kindle: http://amzn.com/B00F7KX2LC

Keyword: Inner Strength

CreateSpace: https://www.createspace.com/4459697

Amazon: http://amzn.com/1492834149

Amazon Kindle: http://amzn.com/B00FI0PCT6