Why do women say Chilvalry is dead?

Chivalry is dead......

Sometimes a girl walks around

And claims to know her worth

Her parents taught her she was special

And worth more than gold

She was taught that respect should always be given

And also received

But when she got older those lessons seemed to leave

The other day I had a conversation with friends and the topic which was brought up was chivalry.

I mean, what do women necessarily want? I have heard that chivalry is dead, yet men still end up with women. Sometimes even multiple women! 

 

My grandmother always said that you should date a guy that wants to court you. By definition this means: 

      "When a man is courting a woman he is seeking her affection"

In my opinion, this is seeking an emotional bond. In modern America, a courtship may include activities in which the man and the woman participate in activities which can draw them together. This may be attending poetry readings together, watching movies/plays, conversation over a meal, and other things.

Now back to the topic about Chivalry.

We as women must realize that the situations we put ourselves in are because of us.

Many so called “relationships” I have witnessed has started as the following:

       

      Boy meets girl

      They exchange numbers

      Visit each other at their homes

      After doing this countless times they decide to be intimate

      After being intimate they are “in a relationship” or “friends”

This continues on and then one day the girl gets upset and says her man doesn’t treat her right and all this other stuff and then she says the statement, “Chivalry is dead.”

In my opinion, it isn’t dead. Well not just yet…… we have too many women who settle for the bare minimum and then they offer the guy their heart and body for just a simple “I love you” and a value meal from Mickey D’s. When women settles for less, men will feel (or basically know) that they don’t have to try hard to obtain a woman’s “all”.

I have many friends and I talked to countless people. And to be honest, I believe men really want to treat women right. There are times when I see men open a door for a women and she will complain and say “I can do this myself”. There are times when men are genuinely interested in a woman, and that woman will say such things as “All I want from you is sex.”

I mean you get what you ask for and then say men are dogs and they are no good because you came into a situation and decided to be “Ms. I don’t need a man for anything but sex” and get upset when they start to actually catch feelings for the guy and he has decided to withdraw his.

Women will tell men they only want them as a “f&%k buddy” and get upset when their “buddy” is taking another woman out on dates when they only see the ceiling of their buddy’s bedroom.

So yeah, I know I am rambling but chivalry is not dead. And men are not no good trifling dogs. Women are just messing up really bad. Many of us were taught self-respect from our parents but we seem to be pressured by some of our peers that our parents views are old fashioned. In order to get ANY WOMAN a man has to put in effort and as women we control how much effort a man should put in. However, since so many women have lowered the amount of effort needed, men notice this and realize they don’t need to put much work in the pursuit.

In addition, I would like to add this. 

Women you attract the type of man that is a reflection of yourself. If you want a good man be a good woman. 

We are together

We are together
Together we are one
But what is the point
When one doesn't trust the other one
One fears the worst
While one hopes for the best
And in my head
I'm hoping we past the test

You don't trust me
But I trust you
What have I ever done
To ever hurt you
You fear the unimaginable
I see light far ahead
But it doesn't matter
Cause you believe what's in your head

I show you the real me
You think there is more
You tell me I'm hiding
But what do I have to hide for
The days go on
And time begins to past
But I wonder how long this will last

We are together
Together we are one
But what is the point
When one doesn't trust the other one

Weekly Challenge 2: Know Thyself!!

Hello, 

Once again it is time to think. Think about the many things in life. Think about what is going on around you. And most importantly, it is time to think about yourself!

Can you describe yourself to someone? If someone asked you what were your best qualities, could you do it? 

Many of us freeze up when someone asks us to describe our self, but why? Out of everyone in the entire world we should be able to describe our self better than anyone else could. But the truth is.... many times we simply can't. 

This week I want you sit down and think about who you are as a person. Think about what you have to offer the world. After all, everyone is special and means something to someone. At times we are so hard on ourselves and believe that we have nothing to offer, but that is not the truth. Are you a caring person? Are you a great listener? Do you have a talent that you can use to help others? Just think about yourself. Take time to write down everything. I'm pretty sure that once you see everything written down you will finally realize that you are more than what you thought you were. And if you don't like something, do something about it! In the words of a great friend of mines, "If you don't like something about yourself change it!" You control who you are, and you can make yourself into who YOU want to be.

Have a great day, 
Monica

Floating

As I begin to float
On the winds of forever
I wonder if this is a dream
Or if this is heaven
I can feel the embrace
The embrace that contains so much love
Yet I continue to float
I float high above

As I begin to float
On the winds of forever
I clinch my fists
And my heart beats faster
I go round and round
And it seems like it will never stop
I feel a pressure within
It feels like I am going to pop 

I float high
higher than I have ever been
I take a deep breath
And I exhale again
This can't be real
This just can't be
I am floating right now
Over the land and the seas

As I begin to flat
On the winds of forever
I see everything
I even see heaven
Put just as I see
Those I have missed for so long
My eyes begin to open
And I am back home


"Sometimes when people die..... We can't see them physically but they are always in our minds and in our hearts" -Monica R. Williams

Small But Sweet

What happened to giving a lady flowers? 
What happened to kisses at the door? 
I constantly find myself wondering why
I rarely see this anymore
Those small little gestures
So small yet so sweet
Yet none of these have ever been bestowed upon me..

Life is filled with many things
Yet life is so simple
But we complicate life with extravagant things 
When in actuality many would be happy with little
A walk underneath the moonlit sky
A long walk in the park
A gesture...
So small... Yet so sweet
A gesture I seem to yearn for in my deepest sleep

  

The Truth Shall Set You Free!!!

Within yourself
You are holding in secrets
In which you hope no one will find
The fear of "them" knowing
Is something that makes you want to die
The truth isn't the truth to you
It is a reality you don't seek
But the truth..... the truth my friend
The truth shall set you free

Walking around in this made up world
A reality you created
Not doubting your decisions at all
but hoping to never relive it
You hold in a secret so dark inside
You are bursting at the seams
But the truth.... the truth my friend
The truth shall set you free

Look into the eyes of those you constantly feed
Feed them nothing but deceit
I wonder how they would feel
When they realize their reality isn't s real as it should be
Picture how their face will be
Picture how they will feel
You are denying something to them... something that is so real

You are holding in secrets 
In which you hope no one will find
The fear of "them" knowing
Is something that makes you want to die
The truth isn't the truth to you
It is a reality you don't seek
But what if "that" reality is something others need
You are hiding something that others wish they knew
You are hiding information.... withholding the truth
But my dear friend, I hope you soon see
That the truth.... the truth my friend
the truth shall set you free

Beneath the Willow Tree

Sometimes my mind wanders

And then I begin to cry

And my mind is consumed with thoughts

And I end up asking why

My heart starts to beat faster

And then my breath seems to go slow

My palms get sweaty

And then I walk out the door

I look at all the trees

I feel the cool air on my skin

But I cannot escape one thing

That is the wrath deep within

My skin starts to get hot

My stomach begins to cramp

I am doing so much thinking

That I feel like I am killing myself

I look forward and see everything

Yet I cannot take everything in

Something is happening within my mind

And I keep reliving a moment again and again

I love you……..

I think to myself

But I know it doesn’t matter

I always stuck by your side

No matter what happened

But what is love when you feel so bad

What is a feeling that isn’t returned?

I work myself up for disappointment

Yet I always return

I would say you have me hooked on you

But I haven’t a clue

I know I care about you

But do I care about myself too?

The air seems so calm out side

And I sit under the tree

I feel something wet on my face

Something I thought came from the tree

But how can this be??

It is sunny outside

Rain can’t come today

But the weeping willow is crying

And I think it is crying for me

The Fear of Being Single

"Many times in life you will come across a puzzle that is missing the very last piece. No matter how long and hard you search for it, you will never find that piece. However, it is up to you to realize that your efforts were in vain and to pick up the pieces and move on..... Besides, why waste time stressing about it? Sometimes when you finally find that missing piece you realize that it wasn't even worth the effort and you did not care about the puzzle as much as you thought. " -Monica R. Williams


So many of us hold on to toxic relationships for far too long. We believe that everything will get better if we fix one aspect of the relationship. However, we don't know what aspect that is....

Why are we so afraid of being alone? I see so many men and women stay with someone who mistreats and does not appreciate them. I have seen many hold on to the hope that if they fix "one thing" then everything will get better....but as time moves forward the situation doesn't improve. I mean, is it that bad to be single? 

At times, we find ourselves holding on to someone because we are afraid to be alone. But why? You were single before you met your partner. So therefore, being single is something you have experienced before. In addition, being single DOES NOT mean that you are alone!!

At the end of the day, you have to love yourself. You have to feel comfortable being surrounded by you. Take this time to get to know yourself. Sometimes we lose ourselves in another person and we forget who we really are. 

So don't ever lose yourself in someone else. Always remember what you deserve and never settle for anything less than that. 

And remember this: People were not created to be mistreated.

Pen and Paper

As I grab my pen and paper
I slowly begin to write again
This is my sanctuary
Where I will not be judged for my sins
My pen digs deep
As my emotions are so raw
I want to express how I feel
But I don't want to reveal them to none
My true friends are my pen and paper
They have always been there for me
Through good times and bad times
They never tried to leave

Weekly Challenge 1: Take the Time To Experience the World Around You

When was the last time you took the time out of your day to view the world around you? Like really take a look at it?

Many have not, and although they may constantly say they have... the truth is.... they have not. Think about it......ask yourself these few questions. 

• When was the last time you seen the moon emerge from the daytime sky? 
• When was the last time you  heard nature speak?

Too many of us are so consumed with our everyday lives that we forget about the things that are constantly around us. And that is a problem!!

So I challenge you to take a look!! Appreciate the world around you. Take a minute to escape the constant chatters of people and the hustle and bustle of automobiles on your local streets.  Take time to gaze into the sky! Touch the soft grass that is beneath your feet. Smell the flowers that are blooming... You might be surprised with what you discover!!

Just a Random Thought

You were born alone........
I hate when people tell me this
It's like people say this in order to make you fell lower than you already feel
They say it to make you see that you have no one in the world but yourself

And the truth is........
No one came into this world alone
You had someone who was present at your birth
I mean, you didn't just magically pop out of the sky and landed on Earth
You came from another creature
Many of us call this creature Mom

As we grow older, some of us distance ourselves from 'Mom'
We dislike the fact that she gives us all of this advice that we never use
We dislike her for saying "When I was your age" because we can never imagine her as us
We just think that 'Mom' isn't hip with our times
but what we fail to realize is that usually this is one person in our life who is there with us from day one.
This is the one person who probably wiped your first tear and told you to be strong.
This is the one person who probably taught you that no matter what life throws at you... you can make it.

So now you sit here thinking about all of the mean things others tell you
And you say to yourself
"Well.. I was born alone"
And the weird thing about it is that you actually believe this statement now
But I ask you this........... Why? Why do you feel this way?
No one comes into this world alone, and even if you feel alone at this very moment. I want you to know that you aren't. 

There have been times when I have hit the lowest of the low!
And trust me, I believed I was alone too.
I felt as though I had no one.
I felt like no one cared about me.
I felt like an orphan....
But then I finally expressed how I felt
I opened up and let my lips speak what my mind always though
And at that moment, I seen tears fall from those who I thought didn't care for me
I saw tears from the people I thought I didn't even have in my life...

The point I am trying to make is.. You aren't alone.
And trust me, there are many people who care about you
You probably  just don't see it because you are stuck behind a thick cloud of sadness
But once you express how you feel
You might be surprised at who actually cares
You will be surprised by the many who don't want you to be consumed with sadness.

The Battle

Yeah I see you looking back at me
And you are not making a sound
You think you won
But I won't accept defeat
I have to get through this somehow

I look at the door
and it is far away
But I have to complete this mission
I know my arms will be tired
But I have to fight
In order for me to make it

As I grind my teeth
And prepare for this struggle
I hear the crowd in my head scream "Come On"
I have to make my decision soon
So I begin to ready my arms

I grab the culprits one by one
And hold them in the air
And then I take them to their resting spot
Which is up two flights of stairs

I won!! I won!! I say to myself!
And then I look at the wounds of the war.
I have whelps  and it has grown redder with time
But then again
The battle ....I have won!!

So what if  you say I am foolish
Because I don't think so at all
Cause who would like to make two or three trips
When they can only make one

You

Comfort me with the words
That are flowing from your lips
Tell me your deepest thoughts
And reveal to me your secrets

If looks could kill
We would just die in each others arms
I can tell you love me so
And you have missed me for far too long

Squeeze me in your deepest embrace
Whisper once more in my ear
I finally see what I have been missing
And I can't deny that this is real

 

What are you Thankful for?

Today I woke up, and I was grateful. I got out of my bed and then continued to get ready for my day. Of course, I felt like I need more sleep and I dreaded the fact that I had to go to work as I was staggering to the restroom to get ready. I looked at my tired eyes and just wished I could have had a little more sleep....but I have to go to work. As I prepared to leave my apartment, I ate a quick breakfast and then I hit the road to go to work. Doesn't it sound a lot like the morning of many people??..lol.

I have noticed lately that many say they wish their lives were better. I won't lie, at times, I say this as well. But then I put things into perspective. I think about all of the things I should be happy for. I have a job, a roof over my head, and I have my life! Some people are struggling to find a job, some are homeless, and some did not wake up this morning. Be grateful!!!

So today, I would like to challenge you to think of all the things you are grateful for. So I ask you this: What are you thankful for? 

The Seed

A smile... A smile is a universal sign of happiness. It implies that everything is going right and life is a breeze. But sometimes a smile can hide the true feelings of a person.... -Monica R. Williams

A simple smirk
It comes across your face
And then I hear a giggle
You are amused by what you see
Who knew happiness could come from so little

Your lips open up 
And revel those teeth
and your eyes grow larger
You are entertained by my words
You wish this day would never be over

The world is a beautiful place
You have to open your eyes to see
There is no need for you to pout
You can be all that you can be!
Take the time to analyze yourself
Come up with some goals
You have so much life in you right now
Don't regret wasting it when you get old
Smile and enjoy your life
Don't let rainy days get you down
Just try to be like the little seed
That attempts to grow from the ground

Sometimes reaching your sunniest days
Takes a lot of work
You have to sometimes start at the darkest place
And continually work your way up
And sometimes those above you
Won't shed a tear at all
They will see you struggle
And then  your tear drops will fall
but those tears will make you stronger
And then you will continue to grow
And you have to remember to keep pushing
Cause you still have a way to go
Even in the good times
You can't lose sight of where you want to be
Keep pushing for the sunshine
And eventually you will be as tall as a tree

The Realization

This is a realization I came to long ago. I truly believe others need to realize this as well. -Monica

So, I have come to a realization

Money cannot grant anyone true happiness

True happiness is only obtained when one realizes that the reflection in the mirror is to be loved

Once you can love that reflection, then you are able to love others

For quite some time I despised the reflection in the mirror

The shape of her nose, the color of her skin, she seemed to have so many imperfections

I really hated her, but now I realize that in doing so I only hated myself

My reflection makes me happy

And although it may sound conceited

It is truly not indeed

My reflection not only shows the remnants of physical beauty

But inside lies a person who has purpose in this world

A person who will change the world

A person who has the ability to evoke a positive change

I see me

I love me

And no one can ever change that again