Sticky Situations

Bubble gum between my fingers
Stuck together like glue
I'm in a sticky situation
I don't know if I can break through

Dripping lot hot candle wax
From my eyes my feelings flow
Happiness is seconds away
But which way do I go

I'm in a sticky situation
I just don't know if I can break through
I have to decide where I want to be
But which way do I go? 

North to face my deepest fears
East to what I have always known
West to where my hearts resides
South to where others think I should go....

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions
Are sometimes so hard to make
I cry not because I'm sad
But because I'm happy with the decision I'm about to make


"Never be afraid to follow your true path in life..... Sometimes we have to stop being afraid of the possibility of failure and go where we always dreamed we would be.... " - Monica Renata 

Winter Storm

I remember when the snow fell light

And it landed on the ground

This rarely happened in my neighborhood

So I was happy and I smiled

I remember when that snow turned to hail

And then feel upon my face

It wasn’t as soft as the snow was

But I was still happy it came

I remember when that hail turned to hail stones

And I finally had to run for cover

I watched in amazement while in my house

And I went watch from the window while wrapped in my covers

Soon the snow came harder

And the stones continued to fall

I watched myself get blocked in

And I no longer could do anything at all

I remember when he said he loved me

I was happy and I smiled

And I remember when he left

But he came back

And I was happy, so I smiled

But now it is just a storm

And I have tried to run but cannot hide

I can be honest with him and tell him how I feel

But it seems like he doesn’t get it inside

Why would someone want something

That they decided to throw away

Why would someone hold on to something

In hopes of having it one day

Why say you love someone

When you look in their face and constantly lie

And why shed a single tear

When I tell you I am tired of trying.

I remembered when it snowed that day.

I remember how I felt.

I was in love and I was blinded by some petty things

I was blinded by how I felt

When it began to hail I still watched in amazement

Because I wanted to believe it couldn’t be that bad

And when the hail stones started to drop

I ran for cover but I still was there

I eventually became trapped, and I was alone

And I was hiding from the truth

And we all know the truth can open scary doors

It opened the door to the real you

As time went on my heart grew cold

And I could say this is because of you

But now I treat you,

How you always treated me

And now you tell me you feel used

But that is something I can't see...

And now you show emotion

But my heart is cold and your tears don’t faze me

For now I am frozen

And you are a distant memory

I run into you time from time

And you are but a stranger to me

You give me a hug you buy a gift

But it doesn't mean anything to me at all

You call me and I pick up

And you just hear me breathe on the phone

You want me to show an ounce of feeling

But I packed those up long ago

But the moral of the story is

Don’t take advantage of a real love

Cause if someone really loves you

So loves with all their heart and soul

And yeah they say the first wound

Is always the one that cuts deep

But never throw away something

That you always thought you would keep

Because people get feed up at times

And yes, they do move on

But when someone loses all emotion for you

You basically do not exist in their world

So treat your partner right

And hold on to what you got

Cause a person can only take so much

Until they decide to shut you completely out

Are You Living?

Life.

It is so beautiful

Yet it is one of the things we really don't appreciate

The smell of morning dew

The sound of the wind blowing

All seem to be so insignificant until they go away

Today 

You woke up

You are breathing

But are you living? 

Think about what makes you smile

Think about what makes you sing

Think about the kindness others showed you

Think about all you say

Are you living life for yourself? 

Are you living for others? 

Are you trying to please your friends? 

Are you trying to please your mother? 

Life is so beautiful

Life is more than just finding a mate

Life is about living for you

Life is about living 

But what is living to you? 

Is living waking up each morning and going to bed each night? 

Is living completing tasks and trying to progress in areas of your life? 

Is living trying to make it into a better situation than you were born into?

Is living being completely and utterly happy? 

Open your eyes, and truly look within yourself. Are you happy with where you are now? Are you happy with your life? If the answer is 'Yes' then I congratulate you. However, if the answer is 'No', I would like to ask you why? If you aren't happy about something fix it. It is that simple. The truth is, your life can be actually anything that you wish it to be. All you have to do is believe that your life is worth living, and if you really do believe that it will soon become a fact. To live life......Like truly live life, you must live for yourself. Just like the milk in the fridge, you have a limited amount of time to do everything you want to do before you go bad. Your time is so precious, so don't waste it trying to do what OTHERS what you to do. Do What You Want with your life. 

Don't let others opinions sway you from where you truly want to be. 

Don't let others dreams become your own, and neglect yours. 

Don't live for someone else.....Live for you.

Life.

It is so beautiful

Yet it is one of the things we really don't appreciate

We don't appreciate life until we only have a few grains of sand left in our hourglass

We don't appreciate life until we realize that we have wasted years trying to please others

We don't appreciate life until we realize we have exhausted so much time

We don't appreciate life until we are looking death in the face

Too many times people lie on their death beds and think about what they wished they would have done. But I don't want you to be like that. Live life for yourself. If you want to run a marathon, go run a marathon. If you want to write a book, write a book! If you want to be the best part on earth, do it!!! If you want to dress up and be a ninja for the day, you better dress up and be the best ninja around!!! Do what makes you happy!! Do what you love!! Have no regrets!!! Smile in your struggles and make it through your failures because in the end at least you went after what you wanted. 

 And that my friend is what I would call Living..... 

So start living today... Do what makes you happy and stop letting those little birds of negativity tweet in your ear. Stop letting your fears hold you back. Stop putting aside your happiness, because you are afraid to hurt others feelings....because in the end you will regret it.

Today 

You woke up

You are breathing

But are you living? 

If not.... I really hope that you start soon :)

-Monica Renata

Sneaky Sara

Sneaky Sneaky Sara
Thinks that I don't know
She always in my business
She always wants to know

Know what I am doing
Know all whom I speak too
Sneaky Sara follows me
Like my favorite pair of shoes

Sneaky Sneaky Sara
Thinks that I don't know
So she covers up her footprints
But I still will know

Sara is so very sneaky
And she calls herself my friend
She thinks I don't know about this
So I guess I will continue to pretend

Bojo The Bandit

They called him Bojo the Bandit

His teeth were yellow and green 

His hair was wild and very unkempt

His clothes weren't all that clean

He was always quite

And I could never hear his feet

He always took the pretty things

When everyone was asleep

They called him Bojo the Bandit

He liked to steal many things

He stole moms new dinette set

He stole moms fancy rings

If it wasn't glued down 

He would take it

He just loved to take all things

And he also told me every day

"You should never want to be me"

They called him Bojo the Bandit

But I still don't understand

For Bojo was the man who I always called my dad

He took everything from my Mom

He took it while she was sleep

I guess this is the thing that is called divorce

So I won't speak a peep

For I'm afraid of the next thing he will take....

Perhaps it will be me

JoeJoe's Chocolates

Oh words cannot describe
This devilish little treat
For chocolate was my bestest friend
Until I suffered this feat

It all started two days ago
As I was perusing the aisles in the store
I had a sample of some chocolates
And my mouth just wanted more

So to aisle 3 I brought myself
I was surrounded by so much speldor
Gummy bears and coconut bites
I had to take a gander

So much deliciousness surrounding me
But my eyes wanted one thing
This box of JoeJoe's Chocolates
Those chocolates that made my tongue sing

So in the basket I threw a box
Then two, Then three
And the next thing I knew I was walking out the store
Cases of JoeJoe's Chocolates being carried behind me

I couldn't wait to get home that night
I would be a hog in  heaven indeed
Unknowingly To taste the sweet sweet chocolate gifts
Would cause the greatest depression, I now see


After eating five boxes I was full as a tick
I swear I couldn't feel any better
But then I felt a little prick
As my belt got a little tighter

I developed uncontrollable gas
Which I thought would never pass
And then I heard the loudest sound
And it was coming from within

I felt my stomach twirling around
I felt it jump around too
And then it felt like someone tied it
Like they were tying a knot on a rope

This continued for quite some time
Until I let out a cry
It felt like something was inside of me
And eating me from the inside

My stomach sounded like trumpets
That were calling the demons from hell
I crawled into a tiny ball
I wished I could run away from the smell

This went on for hours
And at one point I thought I wouldn't be able to open my eyes to see
But finally when the clock struck 12
The pain stopped and a man stood before me

"Well, I see you liked my chocolates kid!
I bet they were quite a delight!
My good ole JoeJoe Chocolates are supposed to make you have the time of your life!
But it is a treat that you must be very careful
Watch how much you eat 
For if not enjoyed in moderation you will face your punishment for greed"

And then after he said his words
He quickly went away
And now I learned my lesson
I will only eat one chocolate a day

Oh words cannot describe
This devilish little treat
For chocolate was my bestest friend
Until I suffered this feat

I Just Want You To Know

The beauty of your eyes

That can see deep down in my soul

The warmth that your embrace gives me

You are the fire in the mist of the cold

The way you smile so coyly

The firmness in the shake of your hand

The way you put no one above me

The way you make me constantly stare

The things I love about you

The things that I love so

You are the apple of my eye

And I just want you to know

That you are the reason why I smile

You are the reason why I sing

You protect me from the cruel cruel world

You take down my wall brick by brick

You are beautiful on the outside

But more spectacular within

I just can't find the words to describe

How you make me feel within

From the time the sun do rise

Til the time that it goes low

You are forever on my mind

I just wanted you to know

And don't for a second think

That I don't care the very least

For you bring me so much happiness in life

A future with you is all I want to see


"Sometimes the hardest words to say is how you really feel......" - Monica Renata

My Light In The Sky

Bright little stars scattered about 

like glitter in my hand

In the night sky I become completely lost

I am floating from the land

In euphoric Ecstasy

A feeling I can't explain

As I begin to rise

And touch the sky once again

Oh in my dreams I come alive

In my dreams I see you

The brightest star in the sky

For what brightens my days is you

The darkest darkness is a place I shall no longer be

For you are with me til the end of time

My guiding light in the darkness

For you light up my life

Inadequate

If you could wish it
You'd wish me perfect
But that cannot be so
So instead you complain about things you want changed
And things that have to go


You say I'm perfect
But not quite perfect
Like a flawed little jewel
I have such a radiance about me
But you wish it to be dull

Shine bright like a diamond
But not too bright for others to see
Hold your head up with dignity
But slant your eyes so you can't see

Insecure, you have me feeling
Nonchalant, you want me to be
Sparse, are my interactions
Eccentric, I am to be
Crazy, you make me seem
Ugly, I feel inside
Resounding is my life
Electric is my personality that I now hide

I'm almost completely perfect
But there are some things that I lack
Stop tearing me down to piece
For now I feel inadequate


"When you don't believe in yourself, no one else will. Until you truly believe that you are good enough, you never will be." -Monica Renata 

White Flag

Who will wave the white flag?
Who will reveal the truth?
To give up now would hurt so bad
But maybe it is something you need to do

The smallest drop of poison
Dispensed through your veins
Slowly killing you each moment
Slowly driving you insane

What you want is your greatest downfall
Your greatest downfall seems so sweet
Confused by your inner emotions
Yet you still have to see....

It's everything you ever wanted
It's everything that you feel you need
You are pursuing your greatest downfall
But perhaps its time to leave

"Sometimes the one thing we fight for the most is the ONE THING we do not need......." - Monica Renata

Can't Make You Stay

When your eyes lose that shimmer

When you no longer look for me to hold

I stand in the corner

I stand there all alone

When you walk around in circles

When you open your mouth to speak

I listen to your every word...but..

I am afraid to speak

When you grab all of your belongings

When you tell me you can't do this anymore

I shield myself from the hurt

I shield myself from being alone

There are many things I could do

There are many things I could say

But what I know for certain

Is I can't make you stay

For your feet are not here planted

For your mind is made up as you speak

I can't do anything about it

Obviously you don't like what you see

I can speak to an entire nation

I can make them feel my words

But to you I am nothing

To you my words are so cold

I could do so many things

There are so many things I could be

But I know I can't make you stay

If you are determined to leave

PINCH

A speck on my drinking glass

A particle on my spoon

A spot I cannot erase

But I want it removed

A memory I shall never forget

A distant thought that I hate to remember

A unneeded nuisance to all

Removal is definitely the appropriate measure

Just something that I dislike

Just something that shouldn't be

For negativity isn't needed in my life

I need to break completely  free

A speck of utter discontent

A particle of hate

A spot upon my shattered heart

A memory that can't be erased

A distant thought I hate to remember

The unneeded nuisance was me

For you never loved me like you said you did

For in life you tried to remove me

There are just some things I don't like

There are some things I don't need

For if I can't make you  happy

Then maybe its my time to leave

 

I came, I saw, I conquered

I came

I saw

I conquered

And yet that wasn't enough

My greed sometimes consumes my being

Enough is never really "enough"

I try

I try again

I then succeed

And I should be happy but I want more

My constant obsession to become better consumes me

I can't be complacent for long

I climb

I run

I reach my goal

Standing on the mountain top

My dream is to touch the sky

So today I won't stop

 

Always go further than you wanted to go

Always push pass your past successes

And if you feel like you reached your peak

Just know that you can keep on progressing

I came

I saw

I conquered

That was never really enough

And with that I found out

That I could be much better than I actually thought

"You never know what you are fully capable of if you don't give yourself a shot.... Stop capping your talents! You are capable of more than you think!!!" -Monica Renata

You Are You

You can't be me
And I can't be you
You are You
And no one can be more you than you

Each second that pass
Each minute in the day
Turns into hours
And then hours turn to days


Those days mash in together
But it doesn't hide the truth
That yesterday, today, and tomorrow
You will be YOU

You are someone special
You are someone unique
You are you
So start saying, "I love me!"

"The best love is self love!!" -Monica Renata

Man Vs Thief

Many admire the thief
For the countless riches they've gained

But no one notices the man
Who goes to work each day

So easy it is to be blinded
By such shiny silver and gold

Yet the copper of a penny dulls
And can't soothe the greed in the soul

Little by little the man shall work
More and more the thief shall take

But in the end the greatest riches
Are held by those who don't cheat

"Dishonest money dwindles away, but whoever gathers money little by little makes it grow" Proverbs 13:11

They Want Me To Follow Instructions

They want me to follow instructions

Like I’m some sort of child

They want me to have fear in my voice

They want me to not smile

They want me to listen to everything

Every little word they say

They want me to follow instructions

But I shall say, “No Way!”

To give up all my liberties

And become a mental slave

Is something that I shall not become

My relentlessness shall not wave

Undoubtedly doubtful

Yet inside I have too much pride

The lion’s roar is mute today

But the heart of the beast is still inside

Remove the shackles from my mental

Let my words become the swords that stab deep

They want me to follow instructions

But I want my soul to be free

“Sometimes we let others imprison us mentally……. Once a mind is imprisoned hope may seem so far away… Don’t allow yourself to become a mental slave to others.” –Monica Renata

 

I tried

I tried to be a cat today
I sat down and let out a purr
I rubbed my body on the passing humans
But alas, I didn't have any fur


I tried to be mermaid today
I swam deep down under the sea
I saw many fish surrounding me
But alas, I could not breath

I tried to be a warrior today
I grabbed a big sword that was heavy to hold
I ran onto a field of grass
But alas, it was accompanied by not a single soul

I tried to be so many things
But in the end that wasn't me
I guess I have to "try" to stop being something else
I have to just be me


I can try to do many things
I can imitate what I see
But growth comes from self-realization
Growth comes from within me

I tried to be myself today
I really liked that a lot
I realized that there is beauty within your flaws
But alas, I realized I can't be what I am not


"Sometimes the hardest thing to realize in life is that you are good enough being YOURSELF. You do not have to imitate others in order to stand out.... Know yourself, and love yourself and others will follow" -Monica Renata

The HeartBreaker

Completely and utterly interesting

The apple of one's eye

Admiration of so many others

But nothing but coldness inside

Smile that shines so brightly

Followed by a smirk

We were warned about this person

This person will treat you worst than dirt

To take your heart and hold it

Hold it so very tight

You think this is a loving embrace

But it only looks like that to the naive eye

Dance with your emotions

In a never ending fiery ring

You think this is love

Because what else could it be?

Wrapped up in this whole feeling

Then they decide to leave

Lost in all confusion

You get on your knees and plead

"Why is this happening?"

"What did I do wrong?"

But in the eyes of the HeartBreaker

You see a person with no soul

Stealing hearts and murdering them

Make your emotions cease

You can't win with the heartbreaker

For they will leave your heart decease

"Watch who you give your heart to...... Everyone doesn't value it the same..........." - Monica Renata