Beautiful Lies

Beautiful Lies

By: Monica Renata

To where I go

To what I must see

It can’t get any better than this

To be surrounded by majestic possessions

To be surrounded by splendor amiss

To wait there oh so silently

Waiting for my lover’s kiss

I fiddle my thumbs endlessly

While I relax in eternal bliss

Walls made from fabricated truths

Truths which you deny

But oh how beautiful the truth looks

When it is draped in a lie

Floors of solid marble

Crystal chandeliers by the door

Sparkling with such splendor

That my tears shall drop no more

For I shall revel in this beauty

This beauty that surrounds me

The beauty that you created when you lied

And made me see only what you wanted me to see

Made my world so pretty

Try to blind me

But your beauty may have distracted me then

But now… I can finally see

“Sometimes we are too afraid to confront individuals when we know they are lieing too us…but why? What is the point in believing a lie even though you may know the truth? The truth may hurt sometimes but it’s better than living in a fairy tale that doesn’t have a great ending” –Monica Renata

Monica Renata 

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Thanks for Being A Great Friend

Thanks for Being A Great Friend

By: Monica Renata

Too many times I befriended

Those who didn’t deserve

Didn’t deserve my loyalty

Didn’t deserve my kind words

I gave up hope and I thought to myself

True friendship could never be

So instead of focusing on other people

I decided to focus on me

And in that era of solidarity

I started to extend

Extend my presence in other networks

That I have never been

And upon my distant travels

Which brought me to a world I never knew

I met someone special

Who showed me I was special too

Constant talking on the phone

Growing along each other in life

Separated by many miles

Yet close within our eyes

Someone who cared about me

Our conversations flowed with ease

We talked about many silly things

Including strings of cheese

I never thought I would ever have

A friend such as this

I think about the time we first met

And I still reminisce

What a blessing you are to a life

That was once dark and so cold

What happiness you bring to my eyes

When we speak of things untold

Too many times I befriended

Those who didn’t deserve

But I thank God I got this one right

I have a friend who makes my lips curve

So thanks for being there for me

For I have really found a friend

Thanks for being my Top 8 buddy

We shall be friends til the end J

Monica Renata 

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Falling In Love with Potential

Falling in Love with Potential

By: Monica Renata

Potential

adjective

Having or showing the capacity to become or develop into something in the future

Noun

Latent qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness

Potential………I so many times fall in love with potential…. Not what something actually is, but what it could be. That unmasked greatness that just hasn’t rose from the dark valleys of the unknown yet. That spirit which is unmatched by many yet IT does not know…….That possibility of what I truly desire, but what was before me wasn’t quite it but it was close……..

I fell in love with potential. I overlooked the things that bothered me or the things that I didn’t like and I said that there was nowhere to go but UP from here. I decided not to accept someone for who they really were, but who they had the possibility to be…

The thin line that I decided to walk…….That balance beam that was over thousands of prickly needles……… With no other thoughts in my mind I decided to move forward and neglect what was in my face because I was blinded by potential and what someone else could possibly be……….How many times have you been blinded as well?

Too many times we overlook what is in front of us and look ahead to what we want to see. We see the flaws at hand, yet we tell ourselves that those flaws will heal with time and turn into something beautiful. In actuality, that may happen sometimes, but that is not always the case.

Potential………. I have always heard that I have potential. In all honesty, some only loved me because of that. As I think back on it now, I realize how inadequate I felt. I always felt like I never was good enough. I felt as though I was good, but I could be better if only I could reach my utmost potential. That type of thinking can turn a positive mind into a self-conscious mind. ..For a person to wake up every day and do their best yet their best isn’t good enough  for them because they have been told that the level at which they are at is not considered their utmost potential by others…That’s painful to wake up to each day. ….. And also, even though you may reach what others considered your “utmost potential” that may still never be good enough…….Trust  me, I know.

But alas, I didn’t learn. I too became one who loved potential yet didn’t acknowledge the reality that was in front of my own face. I pretended that everyone was but a game piece in my world. I held some to the side for use later because I just knew that if given more time they could turn out to be better than what I actually perceived them to be. I did not think of their feelings, I simply said “you are good but you are not good enough yet”…….and that is so wrong.

Potential………I so many times fall in love with potential…. Not what something actually is, but what it could be. I sell myself short, and also I sell others short by doing this. And I’m pretty sure you have done this as well.

Always love people for who they are, not who they might be. Sometimes we take for granted the person we have right in front of our face because we are waiting for that person who doesn’t exist to make their appearance. We all know we can become better people. We all know that if given the time and the resources we can better our future selves……We all know we have potential…..but we should never love that potential over what we currently see in the mirror each and every day.

Love people for who they are now. Love yourself for who you are now. Worry about the future, but don’t obsess over it. Love in the present, and stop holding out your love on something or someone that isn’t there just yet.

Potential ……..is a great thing……..but not something to fall in love with.

Have a great day,

Monica Renata 

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The Sun Can't Shine the Same

The Sun Can’t Shine the Same

By: Monica Renata

Today it was 90 degrees

Sweat dripped down my neck

The children played outside happily

While adults decided to suntan and relax on their decks

The water was so sparkling blue

Just like the blue sky in which the birds soar

The flowers smelled so bittersweet

A smell that makes you yearn for more

A beautiful day to say the least

Yet I am surprised this day came

For even though it is joyous outside

I know the sun can’t shine the same

To have the heat that once radiated

Turn into something cold

Flesh that was lively with color

Can now only been seen in the words of stories told

The brightest light I ever had

The light that let me see

Through the darkest of dark places

That light that had never failed me

But in an instant that light stopped

And that glow decided to cease

And with that soul lost

My world lost a masterpiece

Now in the sunniest of days

I realize that time is short

I love unconditionally

I no longer treat feelings like an ugly wart

I use to bask in the sun all day

And never appreciated that it was there

On the stormiest days when it’s presence was gone

I pretended that I didn’t care

But to lose it forever

I never thought this would be

So while the sun still shines for others

I know the sun can’t shine the same for me

“To dwell in my own memories….. To now wish for what I always had….. To want to reach for someone.….. To know that they aren’t there…… Appreciate the loved ones in your life. Don’t wait til it is too late to realize how important someone is to you.” –Monica Renata

Monica Renata 

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The Bully: Does it Exist in the Adult World?

The Bully: Does it Exist in the Adult World?

Monica Renata

The Bully

Noun

a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.

I remember when I was growing up, I feared the bully…. You know that person who would try to make your life a living hell even on the sunniest days? That bully who your heart would just stop when you were in their presence because you just knew that your bit of happiness was about to be ripped away in just a matter of seconds……I feared this person greatly, but the only thing that brought calmness to my heart was the fact that I only encountered this bully at school. Once the bell rang and I got on the bus to go home, I was finally able to escape that hell. I was able to live freely once again without the constant terror of being punched, teased, or constantly embarrassed. I was home……..where those who loved me also reside.

Even in my teen years, I encountered bullies, but I just knew that once school ended I would encounter this no longer. I knew that once I exited grade schools I would leave behind the bullies and just walk into a world of positivity that had nothing but great things in store for me. I thought bullies didn’t exist after the age of 18. I thought people who were bullies grew out of it….. I thought so many things but…… I think in some aspects I was wrong. You see, many of us believe that bullying only happens in our childhood, however, is that actually so?

As adults, we do not use the word bully as much. We use it if a kid is being picked on, but as far as adult usage, it is rarely used. Adults seem to use such phrases as “they constantly disrespect me”, “they constantly try to ridicule me in front of others”, or “they talk to me like I am trash”….they never call that person a bully, they just think it is a person behaving badly. Why is that?

Are adults afraid to admit that they are being mistreated by others?

Are adults afraid to associate their situations with those of adolescent teens and elementary kids?

When researching bullying, one of the first websites which pops up is stopbullying.org. According to this website the definition is as follows:

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious lasting problems.

In order to be considered bullying, the behavior must be aggressive and include:

§  An Imbalance of Power: Kids who bully use their power-such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity – to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations even if they involve the same people.

§  Repetition: Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once.

………But don’t some adults experience the same thing? ………..

I have seen many adults constantly humiliate others for no reason at all.

I have seen adults expose embarrassing information about someone in order to “get back” at them.

I have seen someone who holds a powerful position, control someone’s actions just because of the amount of power in the community they possess…….

But why isn’t this called bullying? ……….

So what do you think? Do you believe that bullying only happens in the adolescent world or do you think it can exist in adult lives as well?

 Monica Renata 

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I feel sorry for no one………….

I feel sorry for no one………….

I know that sounds so heartless but it is true. Hell, I don’t even feel sorry for myself at times because I realize that despite all of the hardships I encounter, I encounter those hardships because I allow myself to encounter them. Many times, we neglect responsibility for our actions. People nowadays feel as though they “deserve” things, when in actuality you deserve nothing. At the end of the day, every adult is where they are because of the decisions they DECIDED to make.

I use to feel sorry for myself………. I use to blame everyone for my problems except myself. I blamed my current situation on the way in which I was raised, the family’s financial backgrounds, and also on the others who surrounded me……In a sense, that does affect you when you are younger, however, once you become an adult that really doesn't matter. I realized how foolish I was for casting all blame on others instead of looking for blame within myself.

 If I was unhappy, it was because I allowed myself to be unhappy.

If I felt unloved, it was because I refused to love my  own self.

If I was constantly losing jobs because I was running late to work, it was because I needed to correct myself and figure out a way to get there on time.

LIFE IS NOT AS HARD AS WE SAY!!! So many times I hear people say they are poor because they don’t have cable tv. I hear people say that there aren’t any opportunities in this world for them, when I see opportunity knock constantly on their door and they deny it access into their life… People are……well.......People are stupid at times.

We say we want to be surrounded by those who love us, yet we seek the attention of those who do not.

We say we want better opportunities in life, yet we are too afraid to venture into the unknown.

We say we want more time to handle the important things in life, yet each morning when we are granted a new day to live we waste it doing meaningless things instead of what we really love…..

But why? …………

You know…….. Life is truly what you make it. And if someone says that they have a horrible life I really do not feel sorry for them…. Life is what you make it. Whether you make it a Disney adventure or a slow ride in hell is YOUR CHOICE. Once you become an adult, you have to start living your life for you. Sure stuff happens! STUFF HAPPENS TO EVERYONE. But the difference is how you let that STUFF affect you. So many people wallow in their own grief after a breakup or some other unfortunate event, and never take the time to look at all the positive around them. When you look at all the negative things in life, that list of negatives tends to go on and on. However, when  you look at the positives….that list stops short, but why?

I guess what I’m trying to say is… Pick yourself back up and stop feeling sorry for yourself…… There are so many great things in life that you miss out on by having a negative mind.

Stop worrying about those who don’t like you.

Stop worrying about those times that you failed.

Stop worrying about all of the things that make you unhappy and START LIVING!!

YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!

We all do………… So we need to stop letting our minds keep us from that….

At the end of the day, life is truly what you make it. Your life is a concoction of your expectations, decisions, and realities. You can decide to add a little bit of sugar to it to make it sweet, or you can throw in some Tabasco to make it fiery hot…but at the end of the day… That is your life.

So stop feeling sorry for yourself… And just live

Have a great day, 

 Monica Renata 

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Finding Happy

Finding Happy

By: Monica Renata

In a world of endless thunderstorms

Surrounded by the unknown

I hide my head underneath my arms

I wish to be back home

Shrouded by my own inner fears

Afraid of what may come next

I remain the spot that I started in

So emotionally unattached

Waiting for my hero

But will they ever come

To be alone in this fury

To be alone in hell on earth

Fire consumes my soul

Yet I can also feel the light

That radiates inside of me

That wants me to continue to fight

It offers me words of encouragement

Words which were never once there

It offers me these kind words

This brought inner peace within

Life can be hard sometimes

There are many things you will go through

Just remember to remain positive

And always see things through

In a world of endless thunderstorms

I found that I was my own friend

And I looked deep inside and realized

That fear shouldn’t reside within

Overwhelmed by my blistering hope

I no longer wished to be

The person who was afraid of trying

The person who was scared to just see

Waiting for my hero

But the whole time it was me

I think I finally found my happy

Here is where I want to be

Monica Renata 
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The Rock

You will never know what love truly is until you fully love yourself.…. – Monica Renata

Love. We all want it. Many of us search for a lifetime to find it, but do we really know what it is? I have felt as though I have loved before, but was that true? To find beauty within a rock that has been weathered by so many storms…..That beautiful rock which is you. Take time to discover what makes you special….. Take the time to love yourself fully. Love yourself more than you thought you could ever be loved……..and then when another love crosses your path, you will know if it is worth putting your heart at risk.

The Rock

By: Monica Renata

To place it on a pedestal

To bow before its feet

Seems like an uninspiring thing

Its importance is of the least

It is just so plain and shallow

It stays the same each time

No one wants to marvel the rock

That is not hard to find

Reflection seen every day

Yet it does not mean much

A rock that has been weathered by many storms

Yet never felt that touch

That touch of love that bursts within

That radiates from sea to sea

The acceptance of the realization

That that rock is me

So what is there to like about it?

Yet, what is there to hide?

Constantly questioning my own value

Constantly wondering why

Why am I important?

Why do I have value today?

What makes me so special?

What makes people in my life stay?

Always doubting the beauty within

Yet believing all the negative hype

But today I decide to cast away

The negativity associated with the rock

Beautiful in its own way

It has such a marvelous hue

Its endurance is never-ending

Its strength is unparalleled too

The gracefulness to tap dance on water

The weight to sink deep down

The malleability to forge into a weapon

The ability to survive time after time

Weathered by many storms

So many times cast into the sea

Yet I returned to land each time

Smoothened out by harsh conditions around me

And for that I love myself more

I realize the strength within me

I learn to love myself regardless

Of what others may think of me

To place it on a pedestal

To bow before its feet

Seems like an uninspiring thing

Its importance is of the least

But the value of some great things

Aren’t always seen

But love from within is priceless

And it will never leave

So love yourself undoubtedly

Appreciate all the flaws within

Never doubt your own existence

Know your value from within

Love yourself so truly

Even if others may not

For you are a valuable person

Just like the almighty rock

Monica Renata 
My Book: 
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