The Letter

Tear my flesh upon my back

Set a fire to my bones

Silence the words of my wisdom

I am now emotionally cold

Cold as the wind that blows on the cold November day

Pounding on my soul that wishes to see the light of day

Calm within the storm

I so decided to wait

For you to read my letter

And finally know what I have to say

Reading my every word

Words which came from my soul

I wanted you to feel what I felt

But I guess your heart is cold

Tearing up my letter

I feel each rip go down my back

Burning up the pieces

I can feel the fire burning up to my neck

Silenced are the words I wrote

They no longer mean a thing

On that cold November day

You decided to silence all words from me

Ashes lie before us both

A pile of powdery substance on the floor

And soon a draft blows them away

I guess now my soulful words are no more

Monica Renata 
My Book: 
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Time: How much do you really have?

Time.......

How many times have we said we just "don't have the time”???

In each day there are 24 hours, within those 24 hours are 1440 minutes, and within those minutes are 86,400 seconds..... Seems like a lot, doesn't it? 

Each day we wake up to take on the world. We go out there and do what we have to do in order to make it to the next day. At times, your day can seem so hectic and you just wish some of your time away. For example, how many times have you been sitting at work and just praying silently in your head that the end of the day would come soon so you can just go home and relax? 

It's amazing how we say time is so precious and valuable...yet we actually don't value it at all. We play around it and expect it to mold around our lives, but the truth is, time stops for no one. 

Everyone has a small doomsday clock above their heads that we all ignore. We neglect the fact that each day of life brings us closer to death. We forget that soon others presence will be no longer. We forget that we should embrace each moment as if it were our last...Instead; we push things to the side. We say they are not important at the moment. We say we have time to take care of all these things........And when we don't take care of these things we blame time. We say we didn't have enough of it. We say it moves too fast. We say I wish I was given more time. 

We don't look at ourselves. We don't see how wasteful we are of something so precious. In any given day a person can update their Facebook status, post photos on Instagram, play games, and watch hours of TV but swear they didn't have time for other things in life....

To pick up the phone and call someone just to say hello

To hug a family member and tell them how much you love them

To help your fellow man and encourage others in life

To open your mind and see things through new eyes

Small things, that many of us swear we have no time for..............

In each day there are 24 hours, within those 24 hours are 1440 minutes, and within those minutes are 86,400 seconds..... It may seem like a lot, but it actually isn’t. Time is one of the few things in life we can’t get back once it is used. Each day is something special. Each day is a day in which you should take advantage of every second and do positive things with your life. Don’t fool around with idle tasks that do nothing for you. Open your eyes and see the beauty that surrounds you and appreciate it. Don’t let someone’s clock expire before you actually realize how much they mean to you.

Take time to tell people you love them, and make every second of your life count!!

Have a great day!!!

Monica Renata

My Book: 
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Facebook: http://facebook.com/TheAwkwardButterfly

My Blog: 
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The Search For Happy

No one can buy you your happiness
It is something only you must seek
For even in the brightest forest
It can still be hard to see

To find your true happiness
You might have to search through the stars above
Because everyone's happiness isn't in water
Nor even down the many streets that you walk

No one can buy you your happiness
So stop thinking that this is something others have to do
Get out and chase your dreams
Find some hobbies to pursue

Happiness isn't hard to find
It is just sometimes hard to see
Hard to see what you truly want
Hard to see what makes you happy

Find the things in life that make you smile
Find the things that make you sing
And in your quest of finding those things
You will find you way to HAPPY and see what true happiness really means

Journey to the Mountain

I journey to the mountain
To face the war I waged
My thoughts are filled with victory
But inside I'm afraid

To face what I have longed to face
To face what is unknown
Forward I shall continue
Until what is unknown is known

Surrounded by the enemy unexpectedly
I try to draw my sword
But it isn't next to me
And I am also standing alone

I am alone once again
It feels like cement is on my feet
I close my eyes and count to ten
Yet when I open my eyes I cannot see

A casulaty of this battle field
I shall someday be
Surrounded by all my fears
I know I shall face defeat

Heart pounding
Skin sweating
Eyes open but I can't see
I am fighting my own demons
That reside in me

My thoughts are taking me everywhere
But the truth I can't escape
And soon I find myself standing
In another unfamiliar place

In the sea I so stand
With a rage that can't be tamed
Surrounded by an endless sea
But my hands are covered in flames

So much power I have within
Yet I am unable to use
I feel like I have not the time to spend
On battling my dark inner truths

But running serves no purpose
For the enemy gets stronger with my retreat
I have to one day face my fears
I have to overcome obstacles put in place by me

I journey to the mountain
To face the war that inside I waged
My thoughts are filled with victory
But inside I'm afraid

I have to face the truth inside
I have to come to terms with what's within
I am fighting a battle with my fears
And today I plan to win

Going it Alone

"I'm going to the movies alone..............."

Never in a million years would I have ever thought of doing this. I mean, who does that? The only people who go to the movies alone are weirdos, friendless people...... you know.... people who are NOT you. 

But you know what.........what is so bad about it? 

Today, I sat at work thinking about how much I wanted to go see a movie. In all honesty, I thought about it for quite some time,  however, I didn't want to go alone. Therefore, I waited because I thought others would have asked me to go or even hint that they wanted to go to a movie...but none of this ever happened. In my attempt to "not go it alone" I even asked some of my friends...who turned down the request because they were "not into" that kind of movie. So there I was.... Wanting so see a movie..... but had no one to go see it with. And quite frankly, everyone seemed so wrapped up in their life, that doing something that is considered "uninteresting" to them would be such a burden. 

I'm not going to lie, I actually felt pitiful. 

There I was... 

Wanting to see a movie that I waited to come out for over 2 years.....

.and didn't have anyone to go with....not a dang soul

But hey, I wanted to go see it... So I had it in my head that I was going to go but I had to call others to get reassurance.

I called some friends and asked them if they would ever go see a movie alone. I was hoping that they would have encouraging words however, they did not have anything nice to say. 

"That's so lame!! Who goes to the movies alone?"

"Going to the movies alone is boring....."

"A person must be really desperate and unliked if they go see a movie alone.."

These types of comments kept coming. I actually decided to cancel my plans to initially see the movie because of them. But then I thought to myself, Why am I afraid to go alone? 

I couldn't even answer that question......... It's not like I thought I would have been taunted by the movie theater ghost.... Nor was it that I thought the Loser logo would be stamped on my forehead....The truth was.... I was just afraid of what others think....But why should I even care about what others think of me? So what if they think I'm lame!!!.... So what if they think I am desperate or unliked!!!!..... truth is... they can THINK whatever they wish of me because at the end of the day I know myself. And I know that I am not any of those things. 

I went to the movies. Alone. I went so early in the day that only a handful of people were in there.. And I had a great time. I laughed, I was entertained, and I was happy...But most importantly, I learned something about myself. 

If you are constantly afraid to do things alone, you will miss out on true growth and some of the best experiences in life. 

I find this event as a stepping stone to my future. I no longer will let the thoughts of others deter me from what I want to do. We all come across roadblocks in life, and many times those roadblocks are people's thoughts...but we just don't realize it them. 

Wake up!!! Stop being scared of lonely because lonely isn't  a bad thing. Don't be afraid to burn your own path in life. Don't be afraid to venture from the crowd. Sure it might be scary, but you will definitely thank yourself later. 

I went see a movie alone...

And no it didn't suck as much as I thought it would have..

It actually made me realize that sometimes I should be satisfied with just the company of ME. 

The Wait

As the sky went from blue to midnight
As my room slowly faded to black
Thoughts wandered through my mind
But in my spot I so sat

A place that is so old
Yet it always seems brand new
The place you told me to wait
If I wanted to ever see you

Surrounded by what I always knew
But yet also surrounded by the unknowns
Thoughts racing through my mind
I can't figure out which way I shall one day go

To leave this place would be a dream
But to leave would be a dream not so much
So instead I will just wait it out
Waiting for your touch

But I can't do this forever
One day I want to be free
I can't keep waiting for forever
So now may be my time to leave

As the sky went from midnight to blue
As my room slowly faded to blue from black
Thoughts wandered through my mind
But in my spot I so sat
Yet this time I wasn't as still
As I have been before
My feet finally started moving
And I'm making my way towards the door

Insides

Twigs upon the great oak tree
Seem to break with the wind
Limbs which were thought to be strong
Actually do bend
The outer appearance shows much
But it doesn't show all
To be strong on the outside
Doesn't reflect what's inside and that's the downfall

As strong as a great big wall
But hallow on the inside
Putting on a mask of a greater emotion
Than what is really felt inside
Standing like the great oak tree
So strong and beautiful indeed
But if only others knew
That my insides were so weak

"Hiding emotions really doesn't solve anything... It just makes you weaker. " -Monica Renata 

The Bricks They Shall Throw

The Bricks They Shall Throw
By: Monica Renata

You started building your castle
Started building from the floor
Bricks are piled before your feet
Yet they keep throwing more

Surrounded by your enemies
Who disguised themselves as friends
On and On you shall keep building
Hoping one day this pain will end

Constant jokes are about you
They are calling you out your name
You want to leave this place
You are very much ashamed

But in your instance of sorrow
Your castle walls shall grow
And soon you shall stand in a fortress
Made up of what others decided to throw

Stronger than what stood before
Each brick gave a little more strength
Those words hurt you deeply
But inside you found your inner strength

Beautiful and lovely
So much stronger than you were before
Just continue to build towards your dreams daily
Despite the bricks that others may throw


"Never let what others say deter you from your dreams!! Take their negative comments and turn it into motivation for you to move forward!" -Monica Renata

They Said I wouldn't Make It

They Said I Wouldn’t Make it
By: Monica Renata

They said I wouldn’t make it
So I said I disagree
And then they made a circle around
And starting teasing me

They said I wouldn’t make it
So I said that can’t be so
For I have faith in myself
And I resonate with hope

They said I wouldn’t make it
So I didn’t say a word
I did what I had to do
And I started to ignore

Ignore all of the negative comments
Ignore everyone but me
Because in order to truly make it
I have to be true to me

They said I wouldn’t make it
Oh how they wished that was so true
Because now I am excelling past them
And making my wishes come true

"Don't let the negative opinion of others make you afraid to accomplish your goals." - Monica REnata

Fly

Fly
By: Monica Renata

On our backs they sat
Yet they seemed so heavy to hold
We always thought others were holding us back
But that was not always so

A burden that is so heavy
Makes us unable to reach the mountain that is so high
There is a fire brewing in our belly
Yet still we are unable to fly

Trying to get one foot off the ground
But being held down each time
The world is slowly moving but we cannot hear a sound

And on our back they so sat
So beautiful indeed
Almost comparable to eagles
These beautiful and powerful wings

Yet no matter how strong they are
They still will be unable to help you fly
If you hold on to all your pain
If you let hope in your heart die

Glorious beginnings
Please take life in stride
Don’t hold on to all of life’s hurt
Let go and you will be able to fly!!

“In order to excel in life, you must be willing to let of the things that hold you down.” –Monica Renata

Winter to Spring

Winter snow is falling down
Soon to be no more
For Spring is finally coming
And life shall no longer be a bore

Birds will once again fly around
And the leaves will show once again on trees
For Spring is the loveliest of seasons
And since it is coming I am pleased

No Exceptions

Nature provides exceptions
For every single rule
And alas I fell for it completely
And I got lost in you

The things I said I wanted
Didn't matter if they weren't with you
I was lost in my own stupidity
I was acting like a fool

I said I would never make exceptions
But then I couldn't see
How I could make everything work
If I really wasn't happy

So I threw out the idea of what I wanted
And I said I would never look back
I said at least I'm happy
So what if they may lack

But as time goes on
There are some things that you will see
The other will constantly wonder
"Why are they talking to me?"
And they will confront you
With what you said you wanted before
And you won't be able to answer
Because in your heart you want them more

More than those petty things you wanted
More than what you ever said you need
But even if you voice this to them
You  know they won't believe

So therefore make no exceptions
Stick to what you say you want
Because sometimes liking someone for themselves
Really isn't enough

People want to feel secure
They want to know that to others they can't compare
So next time just stick with what you want
Or what you get will vanish in thin air

Just Give It Your All.........Or Maybe Not

“If you really want something, you have to give it your all.”………….. I know everyone has heard this before. We are taught from our young years that if we want something bad enough all we have to do is put our all into and. And if we put our ALL into it, we will reach our goals………But is that true? Are you capable of achieving what your heart may so desire just by giving it YOUR ALL???

The answer is yes, and no…………You see, when we have a goal that is solely dependent on us, then of course if we give it our all we can accomplish it. For example, say I want to become a college graduate. That is indeed a possibility. I can do all the things required to reach that point. Sign up for fianancial aid, come up with ways to fund my schooling, study, devote my free time to indulging myself in my studies, put my ALL into it… you know stuff like that… and eventually I will obtain my goal.

The difficulties come in when your goal revolves around another person as well. For example, let me see……..let’s talk about the topic of relationships. You can want a relationship to last and prosper into something else (ya know, possibly marriage). So you do everything to try to make it work. You put aside your selfish pride. You devote a lot of your time into the other person. You make them feel special (or so you thought), you let them into your life fully, basically YOU GIVE THEM YOUR ALL………but then later on, it just doesn’t work. Hmmmm, I wonder why? Many times I see many people say, “I gave it my all so I don’t understand why it didn’t work” but the truth is, your all is only good enough when you are the only variable in the equation. When someone else is in the mix, your good enough could be cancelled out by their weakness and your best then becomes mediocre.

“I gave it my all”………. Athletes usually say this too. Sometimes you can give something your all, but then experience a loss. Like the other team just obliterated you; the score was 15 to 72 (a horrible loss). You feel like you gave it your all, and then you wonder was your all good enough? It probably was, however, it did not radiate to others because the rest of your team lacks skill..lol.

This happens. This is life. Is there a reason to cry over it? No, not really. But hey, sometimes a good cry could help you with the situation (tears are sometimes like therapy!!!). I guess what I am trying to say is…….”If you really want something, you have to give it your all”……….. and if it doesn’t work out SO WHAT!!! YOU TRIED!!! And you should be happy about that. Your personal best shouldn’t be defined by the best of others. Things happen and life goes on. And sometimes a few bad experiences help mold you into a phenomenal person. So reach for the stars and don’t let anyone tell you that your best isn’t good enough. Because eventually, everything you desire will be in your grasp, and one day those relationships will work out, and your team will win those games, and all that good stuff.

So smile, and keep on truckin!!! Because if you really want something……….. and you give it your all……You have a higher chance of obtaining it than if you didn’t try at all.

Have a great day,
Monica Renata

Don't get TOO Comfortable

Don’t ever get too comfortable
That’s what they always say
For obviously something is wrong with comfort
And it is something in which you shall run away

Don’t ever get too comfortable
They say with that look in their eyes
Yet usually when they say this
They are the one with the surprise

“Surprise! Guess what! I’m leaving!”
“You have to be ready for this now!”
“Because I said don’t get too comfortable”
“So on your face shall remain that smile”

“Surprise! Guess what! I planned this!”
“Quite some time ago”
“That’s why I always said”
“Don’t get too comfortable!”

Don’t ever get too comfortable
That’s what they always say
For obviously I shouldn’t be comfortable
Because it is them who shall run away

But alas I rather be comfortable
I rather be at ease with my day
For comfort is a form of relaxation
And I shall not stress today

Transform

Bye Bye to the old me
Adios to what came before
Now is the time to make the change
Now is the time to transform

Growth in all directions
Endless potential in sight
I can not remain complacent
For victory is right in my sight

Forward into the future
Not looking back at the past
I will be greater than before
To transform is now the task

It's hard for me to express my feelings

It's hard for me to express my feelings
So instead I write them down
I write sad things when I am happy
I write happy things when I frown

It's like I have to be a puzzle
I can't let anyone see
See how I am truly feeling
So I write words so all can see

Because words are something different
They are actually quite unique
They can mean one thing to you...
While also meaning another to me

I could say the wind was blowing
And leaves hit the ground
And to me that represents the tears flowing
And the wind "whooshing" is my cry

I could say the flowers bloomed
And were beautiful for all to see
But actually this represents love
That has finally reached its peak

It's hard for me to express my feelings
So instead I write them down
But alas it solves nothing
And my world keeps tumbling down

I'm Beautiful

I'm Beautiful
By: Monica Renata

I'm beautiful on the inside
Even though you cannot see
My heart is as pure as water
My emotions are true as they can be

I'm beautiful on the outside
Even though I may not get many stares
I have a presence that is undeniable
I sometimes express myself by what I wear

I am very beautiful
On the outside and underneath
I may not be your definition of beautiful
But I am beautiful to me

The Trap

The Trap
By: Monica Renata

Clinging on the mountainside
I watch as you react
You have a look of shock on your face
You don’t know how to act
Your heart is beating fiercely
You tell me “hold on, don’t let go”
You want me in your life completely
You can’t image living your life alone

Clinging on the mountainside
I watch as you react
You reach your hand out to me
But I refuse like a brat
“Why are you doing this?!”
“Give me your hand so we can go!”
But I know that this is a trap
And I can’t do this anymore

I can’t let you rescue me this time
Because what I’m running from is you
I can’t keep going back to you
Even though you are the only one I knew
I can’t allow myself to be broken further
Because I know I will be broken again this time
I can’t keep chasing what makes me happy
If what makes me happy also makes me cry

Clinging on the mountainside
I watch as you react
You have a look of shock on your face
You don’t know how to act
I fell for this too many times
I can no longer fall for this trap

I have to let go of this all
I have to stop neglecting me
I have to find my true freedom
As I float upon the wind

Paper People

If people were like paper

And were made from great big trees

How much would you appreciate them?

How much would their value really mean? 

Would you tattoo their flesh with hearts? 

Would you write lovely words on them? 

Or would you crumble them up and throw them away

Hoping to never see them again? 

If people were like paper

Would you finally be able to see

See how your words affect them?

See the hurt underneath? 

How broken you made them feel? 

How crumbled they are inside? 

If people were like paper

A straight one would be hard to find

For life throws everyone curve balls

And life isn't always sweet

We are constantly straightened out as best as can be

After we overcome a defeat

But the wrinkles in that paper

Will always be there

The stains of the past can't be washed away

Yet they can't be seen by a simple stare

People guard their feelings

With the expressions on their face

No one truly knows the person inside

No one knows what they been through to date

If people were like paper

It would be so neat

Because we could all see that we aren't perfect

Yet we all are still very unique

We could understand that everyone's been hurt

We could see that many have overcame

And the wrinkliest of paper people

Had a lot to overcome

Prettier Than Me

As I stare into the mirror
I can't describe what I see
My vision is so blurry
But I know that ahead is a picture of me

She is just so plain and simple
Not at all unique
No glamour of the movie stars
Not the pearliest of white teeth

Her clothes are somewhat tattered
Worn from years of use
She tries to smile
But suddenly she gets confused

What is there to smile about
There is nothing here to see
Some changes must be made
She has to be the woman you want her to be

So out she pulls her makeup bag
That allows her to doodle away
She starts to prepare everything
And brush makeup on her face

She highlights her eyes
The eyes that she thought you never knew
She paints her lips so carefully
Those lips which always yearned to kiss you

She works on her masterpiece
She even does her hair
She curls it like the girls you like
She wants you to stare

And soon when she is satisfied
She will finally smile
And put down all of her brushes
And begin to dress herself in a new style

All of this for you
Not an ounce of it for me
Yet when I finally reveal myself
It isn't I that you see

Her eyes are so much brighter
Her clothes are so brand new
Her waist is definitely smaller
Her smile is pearly white too

She has just everything
Everything I wanted to be
I wanted to make you happy
But she is prettier than me

Her looks catch your attention
While my looks are just a bore
You ask her out on dates
And it hurts me to the core

My feelings are so hurt
I can't paint on what I am not underneath
I can't even compete
I don't stand a chance
I get it
She's prettier than me

I Understand

Standing face to face

Expressing words that are true to you

I wish you could hear my feelings

I wish that you knew the truth

Telling me what's bothering you

But not knowing what bothers me

I can feel myself fall apart

While I am standing on my two feet

Your words they pierce like daggers

My heart skips a few beats

Your words are stinging each part of me

Killing me softly on repeat

Looking deeply in my eyes

You want to make sure your words are known

You ask for my response

You say you can't do this anymore

I say I understand

But that is not quite true

For every time I say that

I am just trying not to disappoint you

I say I understand

But in my mind I wonder still

I can't seem to take all of this in

But I have no choice but to swallow this pill

I say I understand

But I wish you would school me

On how you are really feeling

About where you wish you could be

I can't comprehend the worse

I refuse to crush the bit of hope in my hand

I don't understand what you want right now

But I will say

I understand

In The Corner

And In that corner I so sat
As I let love pass me by
Drifting away into a deep sleep
Calming myself with lullabies

Trying to tame my trembling heart
Trying to make sense of what it's been through
Slowing taking out the shards of glass
That were placed there by you

You who had my heart completely
You who made me complete
You who made my heart beat fiercely
You who decided to retreat

Of all the love I had bursting inside
And the love you had to turn out not be so true
But I have to pull myself together
I have to get over you

Drifting away in that corner
Waiting for my mind to sleep
I shall rest easy once you aren't on my mind
For I need my inner peace

I Missed The Bus

I missed the bus again today
It just went  passing by
I got a whiff of the black smoke
I got dirt in my eyes

I missed the bus again today
It is now on the next street
Waiting to  pick up its next passengers
Waiting for everyone but me

I missed the bus again today
Just like I did last time
I think I have to be more alert
And stop letting opportunities pass me by

Valentine's Day Freebie

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Cliche Love Poem

Cliché Love Poem

By: Monica Renata

If I knew a billion words

If I knew the right words to say

I would tell you exactly how much you take my breath away

If I had a nice big raincoat

If I had a boat to sail the sea

I would tell you that I would cross the oceans for you to be with you always

If I could pick some flowers

If I could recite their colors too

I would tell you roses are red, and so are my cheeks when I see you

For when I’m without you I feel as if I can’t breathe

For I can’t image my world without you

To find you I would cross the many seas

You are the brightest flower in the bunch

You are the one who I choose

And I love that you love me for me

So here is what else I would do

If you wanted a bowl of cereal

If there was no milk in the fridge

I would run to the store across the street to see you smile like a kid

If you were caught in the storming rain

If you tripped in a puddle and messed up your shoes

I would have a warm pair of clothes ready for you and also a bowl of warm soup

If you were having a bad day

If you felt like the world was against you

I will be your number one fan, and let you know that your special!

Oh the many things I would do

To express my love for you

I guess there are many ways I can “Do” what I always say

I love you, I love you, I love you

Five

Five

By: Monica Renata

Five is the magic number

That connects us once again

To take my five and then your five

And intertwine them in an embrace

Powers begins to exchange between us

We each hold on tight

And then you grab your other arm

And connect my other five to your five

So much energy between us

We never want to let go

Moments I wish could last forever

Moments I feel through my soul

Just your hand within my hand

Brings tears trickling down my face

I feel something deep within

You have left a memory that can’t be erased

Stone-faced Soldier

Stone-faced Soldier

By: Monica Renata

Bullets going everywhere

Bombs are in close sight

So much devastation around

Gunpowder is drowning out the light

Death around as far as the eye can see

No sign of peace close by

There is no need to try to hide

For you can’t escape even if you close your eyes

The cries of other men

Become too much to bear

But in order to accept reality

Obtained is the stone-faced stare

Face no longer blushed with red

Breathing is as normal as can be

The mouth doesn't form a frown

Nor does it smile or show its teeth

Void of all emotions

No joys celebrated in life

Disappointments don’t exist

A mere spectator of others lives

Life is a battlefield

So many are afraid to get hurt

Instead of wearing their heart on their sleeve

They trample their own hearts like dirt

For what is the point of exposing a thing

That at times is fragile and breaks

Emotion dies within their soul

And they develop that Stone-face

They won’t show an ounce of emotion

They won’t show exactly how they feel

For they are a stone-faced soldier

And life is their battlefield

Marching on in life

Not caring what others may feel or speak

For they live life unconnected

And sit on the bench of life while others are out on the field

“Do not let the fear of getting your feelings hurt hold you back from living! When you decide not to live your life, you will end up watching others live theirs.”  – Monica Renata 

You, I love YOU

You, I love YOU

By: Monica Renata

You

You make me happy

You make me smile from ear to ear

You make me feel so secure

When I am having a bad day all I have to think of is YOU and then I will feel better.

You

You have the loveliest laugh

You are so caring

You are the reason I know what love is

When I doubt that love exists all I have to do is look at you to be assured that it exists and it radiates brightly from within YOU.

You

You are so special to me

You have so many imperfections which make you perfect in my eyes

You are the type of person I always dreamed of meeting

When I think of my future I can’t think of living it without YOU………………..

You

You are the greatest person I have ever met

You make me happier than I have ever been

You mean so much more to me than you think

And that’s why

I Love YOU!

Best Served Cold

Best Served Cold

By: Monica Renata

The dish they say is best served cold

That dagger stained with hate

The vicious look in your big bright eyes

That look of disgust on your face

To wish upon someone’s demise

Yet not utter a single word to speak

But someday you will get them back

For then, you will let your actions speak

Heart beating fiercely

No one sings kumbaya 

Palms are getting sweaty

Trust in mankind is gone

A hearty soup that’s been iced down

A serving of maggoty cheese

Revenge is a dish best served cold

And so revolting that no one can eat

To wish upon someone’s demise

Yet not utter a single word to speak

But someday you will get them back

For then, you will let your actions speak

An aged knife I found in the house

A conscious that no longer thinks

I shall embark on my revenge

Cold Blooded is what they will call me

To wipe away your past sins

With your very own blood

The killer will never think he murders

For revenge is all he knows

Time Waits

Time Waits 

By: Monica Renata

They say time waits for no man

Yet I think that is not true

For time always waits for me

While I am waiting for you

In the frigid storms of winter

In the sea which is overcome by powerful waves

I feel time freeze for an everlasting moment

Whenever I see your face

And in that moment I realize that I have loved

Like I never loved before

The coldness we once encountered doesn’t seem so cold anymore

The waves have finally stopped and I can finally walk through

Walk through my sea of emotions

So that I can get close to you

They say time waits for no man….

Yet I slightly disagree

For every time I see your face

I feel as if this is our first meet

Such a beautiful spirit

Such a extraordinary soul

Time will wait for us to get it right

And our love shall never grow old

Lost Heart

The heart goes through many journeys
Just like feathers in the wind
Twirling round and round endlessly
Never truly finding a true end

To love one day so passionately
And the next day that love grows cold
Yet still beating with such vigor
Never truly neglecting the old

Heart still filled with love
But that love is tainted within
Trying to differentiate through all that has gone on
But the brain might someday win

Thinking about the wrongs
Yet killing each beat of love with each thought
The heart goes through many journeys
And I believe this time it has gotten lost

Hope in Perfection

No one is perfect…. Yet we all strive to be…

But what is perfection?

It seems as if no one can truly explain it…

But they say the following:

“If I could do this then I would be perfect…”

“If I lost this bit of weight, I would be perfect…”

“If I changed this about myself…then….. I will be perfect”

Perfect - having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.

I guess it all comes down to what you think…. Do you think you are good enough? Are you what you desire to be? Are you happy with yourself?...

Many times the dissatisfaction we feel in areas of our life is due to others. Sometimes people tell us we aren't good enough, and we believe them. We believe them without even questioning what “Good Enough” actually is. I remember an old teacher use to say that “Everyone is perfect in their own way”. At the time I heard this, I believed her. I was probably like 5 or 6 years old, and in Kindergarten, and I believed her….

It wasn't until years later that I started doubting her words. I would have so many critique my life. I would hear so many negative words. I would see so much on tv and in magazines that basically told me “you are not perfect”……..And soon the hope I had inside me slowly died……….

Hope………that little light that radiates from the tiny candle within yourself goes dark……..But can it be restored? The truth is, that light inside of you never dies, it may go dim, but it never dies……When I learned this, then I was able to realize who I really was………Who I really am………..

When people talk negatively about you

Do not let their words harm you

When people do not believe in you

Never stop believing in yourself

When no one wants to accompany you on your path

Walk it alone, for sometimes greatness is found on paths no one else wanted to take

You are perfect in your own way………Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I wish I would have listened to my teacher back then………because then, I never would have doubted it.  Perfection isn't unattainable. It is practically being the best you that “you can possibly be”… And sure you can get better……..Everyone can……But in order to keep getting better, you have to keep hope alive. Always believe in yourself. Don’t let others get you down. Let your inner light shine so brightly that it blinds those standing thousands of miles away. Be yourself for

You are beautiful,

You are courageous,

You are important,

You are talented,

You are powerful,

You are giving,

You are perfect,

And most importantly

You are Someone Special……..

-Monica Renata 

Sticky Situations

Bubble gum between my fingers
Stuck together like glue
I'm in a sticky situation
I don't know if I can break through

Dripping lot hot candle wax
From my eyes my feelings flow
Happiness is seconds away
But which way do I go

I'm in a sticky situation
I just don't know if I can break through
I have to decide where I want to be
But which way do I go? 

North to face my deepest fears
East to what I have always known
West to where my hearts resides
South to where others think I should go....

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions
Are sometimes so hard to make
I cry not because I'm sad
But because I'm happy with the decision I'm about to make


"Never be afraid to follow your true path in life..... Sometimes we have to stop being afraid of the possibility of failure and go where we always dreamed we would be.... " - Monica Renata